There’s a difference. Criticism and tough love is a must when trying to build a student athlete but shear belittling doesn’t have a place. I had VM from my position coach at a D.1 university calling me out of my name because I didn’t come up early enough for summer training. Plenty kids get depressed.
I hear you, and it's a fine line to walk. Do the discipline thing wrong, and the coach can lose the respect of the team.
But the reason Larry Coker failed at Miami was because he ran camp cupcake. The reason many "player's coaches", as they're called, fail is the same.
On the other hand, best believe that if you're late for practice or miss a class at Alabama, Nick Saban will have a boot up your ***. They run a tight ship over there. Or think back to how Jimmy Johnson used to coach.
I don't need to tell you what you already know, but football is a game of toughness and knowing your assignment and role. You can always tell when a team has a "soft" coach because those teams are sloppy and they miss assignments. Like Miami 2003-2005.... loads of talent, but couldn't pull it all together on the field.
The other thing is that you're accountable to your teammates. If you show up out of shape or you slack on a drill, you're ******* your teammates over. When the guy next to you is busting his *** and you aren't, you're making it harder for him to win, because they're depending on you to do your job for the success of the whole team. So there's that side of it too. The best teams, teammates hold EACH OTHER to account.
The best coaches are the ones who can build toughness, strength, and discipline... but at the same time, can build love and comradery. Kind of like the army, in a way.... they push your *** hard, they chew you out, but in the end you would take a bullet for your brothers because you've been through the *** chewings and the fire together.
That's what the coaches who do it right can accomplish. It's no mistake that the players who played for Jimmy Johnson are the ones who still to this day rep the U the hardest, and are always coming back to campus. The brutal practices they went through shaped them as men.