OT: As a Dad, do you let your kid win in sports?

[Kjdcanefan]

I've got 2 daughters and a stepson with a son on the way. It is different with my daughters than my stepson, but for all 3 I set them up for success as best I can. After that though, I don't hold back on my boy in sports lol.

 

[skillydoo]

I have 2 boys. They need to know what it's like to lose. They need to know Dad is the man. I have been winning at everything for years. Sometimes it's close but I always won. They are 15 and 17 now and both over 6 feet. I am not. I lost the ping pong championship necklace recently. I no longer dominate the paint. I don't dare get in a foot race. It was good while it lasted but I think they retained their respect for Dad as the man.

 

[Biscayne Buckets 8]

You see the mentality of kids and millennials today? That’s why you don’t let anyone win. Everything is earned not given. I’m a millennial and as a kid never understood why every team got a trophy. It was wack then and it’s wack now. Look at society because of it.

 

[OriginalCanesCanesCanes]

Look, I was playing HORSE with my 5 year old on a lowered hoop two days ago. 5 year olds are just getting the ball to the hoop (sometimes) on a lowered basket, from like 5' out. He loves shooting baskets though and being able to play with me. You have to be a potato to think that if I just start knocking down 3's and crush him every time yelling 'in your face' that it will teach him anything other than not wanting to continue playing basketball. I am not counting on my retirement coming from his NBA signing bonus, so fostering a love of the game is more important than anything at this point.

This is in no way condoning participation trophies or not teaching kids they have to earn things. But if you are so simple minded that you can't be pluralistic in application of how and when to apply different ways to teach that, you shouldn't be reproducing.

I feel bad for some of the kids of the parents in here that their parents reproduced and carried on terrible parenting because they can't think beyond the terrible parenting that they were given. Use your brains.

You are the simple minded one here.

Nobody is talking about toddlers here.

At a certain age, whether it’s 6 or 7 or 10, kids develop enough awareness and perception to know when you’re holding back. Hold back, and let them win, whether it’s sports, or board games, or any competition, and they will know it.

Thereby, they lose respect for themselves, for you, and for competition. They will get the win, when they have earned the win.

When they eventually beat you, and they will, at that point comes a real sense of winning and accomplishment. And they will learn that lesson for the rest of their lives. that you have to work hard and earn your wins.

In real life, participation trophies don’t get you paid.

Life is a competition, whether you “pluralistic” types want to accept it or not.

I’m glad my kids are going up against people that raise kids nice and soft. More chances for them to win. In whatever they choose in life.

And even if they don’t win every time, which they won’t, they’ll know they worked their *** off to get there to try to get the win - and just try harder the next time.

 

[TerragonSix]

I seldom beat my dad at anything except some card games. We target shot a bunch back in the day. I remember cutting center at 300 yards with my .270 and scope with bench rest. I was 15 and smiling ear to ear. My old man picked up his Model '94 30-30 Winchester with open sights and squeezed off a round, standing with no support, smiling back at me. I had glasses on it and called "miss". He smiled bigger and said look again. As I watched, the board the target was stapled to slowly fell off the stick holding it up. Dad had hit the stick just where board was attached and broke it off. "Little low but still a nice throat shot, boy." Open frigging sights at 300 yards! Every time I hear the "Devil went down to Georgia" song, I think about that day with me as the devil. WWII boys could shoot my friends.

Thats how my stepdad is. Seen him shoot cigarette butts off a post at 25 yards with a Ruger MkII .22

Consistently, almost as if took no effort and he was bored doing it.

To this day, I can outshoot him with rifles, centerfire pistols, skeet shooting shotguns; but a .22 pistol? Yeah, not happening. He's just too **** good, even at 62.

 

[UMFarArcher]

Look, I was playing HORSE with my 5 year old on a lowered hoop two days ago. 5 year olds are just getting the ball to the hoop (sometimes) on a lowered basket, from like 5' out. He loves shooting baskets though and being able to play with me. You have to be a potato to think that if I just start knocking down 3's and crush him every time yelling 'in your face' that it will teach him anything other than not wanting to continue playing basketball. I am not counting on my retirement coming from his NBA signing bonus, so fostering a love of the game is more important than anything at this point.

This is in no way condoning participation trophies or not teaching kids they have to earn things. But if you are so simple minded that you can't be pluralistic in application of how and when to apply different ways to teach that, you shouldn't be reproducing.

I feel bad for some of the kids of the parents in here that their parents reproduced and carried on terrible parenting because they can't think beyond the terrible parenting that they were given. Use your brains.

No one ever suggested that - THAT example is a great way to establish anger in a child.

Firm, loving instruction and encouragement is great - derision, defeat, and ridicule is terrible.

Letting a child win is defeating for the child.

Encouraging a child to struggle for success is good.

 

[Gatorhater]

Thats how my stepdad is. Seen him shoot cigarette butts off a post at 25 yards with a Ruger MkII .22

Consistently, almost as if took no effort and he was bored doing it.

To this day, I can outshoot him with rifles, centerfire pistols, skeet shooting shotguns; but a .22 pistol? Yeah, not happening. He's just too **** good, even at 62.

You have to be careful letting someone choose their weapon. I have an old WW II M-1 carbine my dad bought me for 12th birthday. There was a time I could lift the cap off a Coke bottle without breaking glass(old type bottle cap not twist off.). The thing just fit me from the first moment. I have had a .22 Ruger. Like is a lot but never could shoot it worth a crap.

 

[CaneSinceForEver]

Look, I was playing HORSE with my 5 year old on a lowered hoop two days ago. 5 year olds are just getting the ball to the hoop (sometimes) on a lowered basket, from like 5' out.

Exactly, 5 year olds stink no matter how yard you make em' try. This thread has a bunch of bozos trying to put adult expectations on children, laughable.

 

[dk72]

When he was younger (he's 15 now) I wouldn't let him win, but I wouldn't destroy him either. I'd keep it close enough that he didn't just give up because it was hopeless, that way he would keep on trying hard and pushing to win. But ultimately, he would have to earn an actual win, not have one given to him....otherwise it's not a win.