Tears Gator Tears

Hstokes1447

Junior
Joined
Jul 17, 2012
Messages
2,500
When does Mac realize...


"He's still proud of himself for the ******, borderline top 10 class he managed to slide in to a few months ago. Back to lazy bull**** with he and his staff.

Miami of all people. No amount of sunshine pumping can explain away why they're doing what they're doing and Mac continues to fiddle around like the goofy ole fart he is on the trail."

"I agree. Miami is loading up right now on recruits. You can't tell me that Miami's external factors are better than ours. We have nicer facilities, stadium, resources and etc. We now have coaches that most would agree are relatively good recruiters to assist Mac. So what is left to blame?-Mac. I know it's only March but it sure is starting out very similar to the past."

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Image by [MENTION=1138]canewill[/MENTION]

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Maude Edit: The Ballad of Gator Tears (sung to the tune of Son McLean’s American Pie)
Written by @TheOriginalCane on 12/16/2023:

“A long, long time ago, I can still remember
How recruiting used to make Gators smile
And I knew if UM had a chance
That Mario could make recruits dance
And maybe they'd be flipping for a while

But June & July made me shiver
With every verbal they'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his G-Wagon ride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the Gator class died

So, bye, bye, class that's in the Top Five
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
And them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"

Did 'cruits write the Collective?
And do they have faith in the NIL bid
If Hugh Hathcock tells them so?
Do they believe the Gator DFO?
Can Slingblade save their mortal soul?
And can Billy teach us how to 'cruit real slow?

Well, I know that they're in love with him
'Cause I saw them eating mac in the gym
They all slipped in their shoes
While taking photos in those blues
I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a trial subscription and a pickup truck
But I knew the Gates were out of luck
The day the Gator class died

I started singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove my Wagon to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"

Now for ten years they've been trending down
And moss grows fat on a sinkin' stone
But that's not how it used to be
When Mr. 2 Bits sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from Trey Dean
And a voice that came from Umammielen

Oh, and while Spurrier was looking down
Slingblade Billy stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Armstrong read a book on defense
The fans took down their tailgate tents
And they all sang dirges so intense
The day the Gator class died

They were singin', "Bye-bye class that's in the Top Five"
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"

"I Won't Back Down" in the summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter
Eight miles high and fallin' fast
Football landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With Mullen on the sidelines in a Vader mask

Now, the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the Gators played a marching tune
They all got up to dance
Oh, but they never got the chance
'Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the Gator class died?

They started singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"

Oh, and there they were, all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on, Graham be nimble, Graham be quick
Graham Mertz sat on a candlestick
'Cause touchdowns are the devil's only friend

Oh, and as they watched Slingblade try to engage
Their hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in ****
Could break that Satan's spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
They saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the Gator class died

Billy was singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove his Wagon to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"

I met a Gator who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just frowned and turned away
I went down to the main bookstore
Where I'd heard Gator music years before
But the man there said Gator music wouldn't play

And in the streets, the Gators screamed
The alums cried and the boosters dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The stadium seats all were broken
And the three men they admire most
The Urban, Steve, and Tebow Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the Gator class died

And they were singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
And Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"

They were singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die" “

Maude Edit: For more on why this thread exists please see the following:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
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This is the part that cracks me up, and makes me realize why some people engage in such stupid commentary, because they can't see anything from any other perspective than their own delusional-homer perpective:

"Miami of all people. No amount of sunshine pumping can explain away why they're doing what they're doing".

Now this guy say that NO AMOUNT of "sunshine pumping" can explain Miami's success.

OK...

Not the fact that many kids want to stay close to home and perform in front of friends & family.
Not the fact that BOTH UM and UF went 9-4.
Not the fact that UM has significant facilities upgrades that have happened (stadium) and will happen (IPF).

No, there is NOTHING that will allow this delusional Gator homer to comprehend how Miami ("of all people") can possibly be more attractive than a team with the same record that is a 6-hour drive away.

Look, I'd prefer it if every top kid picked UM, but I can mentally conceptualize reasons why a particular kid might prefer another school over UM.

Oh well, ***** it, I'll take Gator Tears any way I can get them, even from some idiotic homer who can't figure out why the kids love UM.
 
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Here's another Gayturd porster for [MENTION=14457]Liberty City El[/MENTION] to put with SUckGator51- I call this one SwampChump615:

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Florida is going downhill. Their about to be us under Golden in a minute. If I'm not mistaken Muschamp players are gone. How do you make 2 SEC championships in a row and your an utter joke at recruiting? what even more funny is they can't fire Mac cuz he done well enough to keep the job which is great for us because he is stock piling the UF roster with nothing but JAGs.. This is beautiful.
 
They'll be altight. They got CJ Smith today and they'll get their share of prospects. Their fanbase is just delusional and think they should be better than us and still fail to realize how far back Shannon and Golden (who beat them btw) set us.
 
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Facilities? Where in jortsville can you find hot women in tiny bikinis, soaking up the sun at the beach. Go off the UFlop campus and you find the Alachua County Landfill . It's where the locals graze. At the U you go a short distance to find plenty happening in a world class city. Didn't Jortsville invent the mullet hairstyle?
 
I wish our mods on this site or 247 would start to throw more shade at FSU and UF. Everytime we have a decommit, they are quick to post it on their home boards. I remember a few years ago, Luke wrote on the gators board just dogging on our roster and how most weren't power 5 worthy (he may have had a point though). I wish we would do the same just to ruffle feathers
 
WR Mark Pope commits to Miami

The last poster gets it Groghouse,, calling our last recruiting class trash is ignorant.. We have pretty much the same rating at the end with one less recruit and we picked up a kicker too. The recruit that going to hurt them the most in the long run will be Perry right in their backyard.
 
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