Hstokes1447
Junior
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2012
- Messages
- 5,461
When does Mac realize...
"He's still proud of himself for the ******, borderline top 10 class he managed to slide in to a few months ago. Back to lazy bull**** with he and his staff.
Miami of all people. No amount of sunshine pumping can explain away why they're doing what they're doing and Mac continues to fiddle around like the goofy ole fart he is on the trail."
"I agree. Miami is loading up right now on recruits. You can't tell me that Miami's external factors are better than ours. We have nicer facilities, stadium, resources and etc. We now have coaches that most would agree are relatively good recruiters to assist Mac. So what is left to blame?-Mac. I know it's only March but it sure is starting out very similar to the past."
Image by [MENTION=1138]canewill[/MENTION]
Maude Edit: The Ballad of Gator Tears (sung to the tune of Son McLean’s American Pie)
Written by @TheOriginalCane on 12/16/2023:
“A long, long time ago, I can still remember
How recruiting used to make Gators smile
And I knew if UM had a chance
That Mario could make recruits dance
And maybe they'd be flipping for a while
But June & July made me shiver
With every verbal they'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his G-Wagon ride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the Gator class died
So, bye, bye, class that's in the Top Five
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
And them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Did 'cruits write the Collective?
And do they have faith in the NIL bid
If Hugh Hathcock tells them so?
Do they believe the Gator DFO?
Can Slingblade save their mortal soul?
And can Billy teach us how to 'cruit real slow?
Well, I know that they're in love with him
'Cause I saw them eating mac in the gym
They all slipped in their shoes
While taking photos in those blues
I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a trial subscription and a pickup truck
But I knew the Gates were out of luck
The day the Gator class died
I started singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove my Wagon to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Now for ten years they've been trending down
And moss grows fat on a sinkin' stone
But that's not how it used to be
When Mr. 2 Bits sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from Trey Dean
And a voice that came from Umammielen
Oh, and while Spurrier was looking down
Slingblade Billy stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Armstrong read a book on defense
The fans took down their tailgate tents
And they all sang dirges so intense
The day the Gator class died
They were singin', "Bye-bye class that's in the Top Five"
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
"I Won't Back Down" in the summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter
Eight miles high and fallin' fast
Football landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With Mullen on the sidelines in a Vader mask
Now, the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the Gators played a marching tune
They all got up to dance
Oh, but they never got the chance
'Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the Gator class died?
They started singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Oh, and there they were, all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on, Graham be nimble, Graham be quick
Graham Mertz sat on a candlestick
'Cause touchdowns are the devil's only friend
Oh, and as they watched Slingblade try to engage
Their hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in ****
Could break that Satan's spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
They saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the Gator class died
Billy was singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove his Wagon to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
I met a Gator who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just frowned and turned away
I went down to the main bookstore
Where I'd heard Gator music years before
But the man there said Gator music wouldn't play
And in the streets, the Gators screamed
The alums cried and the boosters dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The stadium seats all were broken
And the three men they admire most
The Urban, Steve, and Tebow Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the Gator class died
And they were singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
And Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
They were singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove G-Wagons to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die" “
Updated version 4/20/26: Twinblade Edition
A long, long time ago, I can still remember
How recruiting used to make Gators smile
And I knew if UM had a glimmer
Dennis would post the Ibis pic on Twitter
And then Canes could be happy and smile
But March & April made me shiver
With every blue chip they'd deliver
Bad news on the Gators' feed
As they claimed the recruiting lead
I can't remember if I cried
For the 5-star OL on the inside
Or the 4-star QB we denied
The day the Gator class died
So, bye, bye, class that's in the Top Five
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
And them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Did alums fund the Collective?
And do kids have faith in the NIL bid
If Hugh Hathcock tells them so?
Do they believe the Gator DFO?
Can Twinblade save their mortal soul?
And can Sumrall teach us how to talk real slow?
Well, I know that they're in love with him
'Cause I saw them lifting weights in the gym
They finally finished up The Gauntlet
While sporting gear from Tangier Outlet
I was a Gator-hatin' mother****
With a trial subscription, faking Gator-cuck
But I knew the Gates were short a buck
The day the Gator class died
I started singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Now for ten years they've been trending down
Taking fat linemen likely to drown
But that's not how it used to be
When Mr. 2 Bits sang for the king and dame
At the (not quite) sold out big Spring Game
The Gator fans got hard and almost came
And though Slingblade was a major clown
Twinblade Jon stole his thorny crown
As the Gator fans' stomachs churned
The fundraising pleas were spurned
And while Philo tried to learn offense
Fans reverted to a kneejerk defense
And they made excuses so intense
The day the Gator class died
They were singin', "Bye-bye class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
"I Won't Back Down" in the spring game swelter
The bats flew off looking for better shelter
Eight losses and likely to finish last
Football landed dead on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
While Sumrall begs for a spring Portal class
Now, the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the Gators played a marching tune
They all got up to sing
But they'll never win a ring
'Cause the players tried to take the field
Bent like when Ned Beatty kneeled
Do you recall how that pig squealed
The day the Gator class died?
They started singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Oh, and there they were, all in one spot
A fanbase in desperate need of pot
No time left for copium again
So come on, Baugh be nimble, Baugh be quick
Drake Stubbs sat on a candlestick
'Cause field goals are the Gator's only friend
Oh, and as they watched Twinblade try to engage
Their hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in ****
Could fix that A.D. hiring fail
And as the team struggled with its blight
Trying so hard just to run plays right
They saw Kirby laughing with delight
The day the Gator class died
Sumrall was singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Met a Gator fan who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just frowned and turned away
I went down to the Gator merch store
Where I'd heard football laughter years before
But the man said the Gator's defense couldn't play
And in the streets, the fans all screamed
The alums cried and the boosters dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The Swamp seats all were broken
And the three men they admire most
The Urban, Steve, and Tebow Ghost
Each chose to be an ESPN host
The day the Gator class died
And they were singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
And Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
They were singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die"
Maude Edit: For more on why this thread exists please see the following:
Tears - Gator Tears
But it was though..Enjoy clowns Yes, it was an unexpected downward adjustment because your coach is the laughingstock of college football.
www.canesinsight.com
Shout to skyman
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