We. Lost. To. FIU. GTFO.
Did you experience that game? Because I did, and this is what happened off the field and only to me:
1. Saw a bunch of my “acquaintances” (friends that were always UM fans until they smelt the blood in the water and wore FIU colors) at the game;
2. My wife trying to take my attention away from these said acquaintances so I wouldn’t get in a fight with them;
3. Her sister trying to reassure me that “we” will win;
4. My drunk cousin feeding me beers telling me no way we lose this game, why are you being so amargado?
5. My answer to my cousin, “I can’t believe this guy doesn’t just run the ball every ******* down.“
6. My cousin, “Papo, here’s a special beer only brewed in Wynwood’s witch’s ***.
7. Me: “Awesome! Cuz, maybe he should just challenge Butch Davis to a time-out challenge. Winner takes game ”
8. ****, it’s now half way through the 3rd quarter, good night sweet prince.
all from Wynwood’s witch’s ***.
9. Wife and SIL, “why are you so serious?”
10. Me: ”I just want to get the **** out of here.”
11. Wife: “****, he’s drunk. He never leaves games early.”
12. SIL: “Can we get Ice Cream?”
13. Me: “****, your ice cream. Get my cousin and his gf and put me in my car before I have to deal with traffic on top of this bull****.”
14. SIL: “he’s just drunk.”
15. Me: “Get me the **** out of here and **** your strawberry ****** *** ice cream.”
16. Car silence
17. SIL: “are we getting ice cream?”
18. Me: “maybe you, I’m going home and jumping in my pool maybe drown myself.”
19. Wife: “We. Are. Just. Going. To. Drop. Him. Off. First. Before. We. Get. Ice. Cream.”
20. SIL: “Do you want us to get you ice cream?”
21: Me: “ I want you to hook up with Manny Diaz so you can **** up his life as my as he ****ed up my life tonight.”
22. Woke up next morning at SUNRISE after sleeping on patio furniture with my cousin as our SO’s were sleeping inside.
23. Still had a better night than Manny Diaz.