So, I’ve been thinking about the
Florida Gators and
Notre Dame Fighting Irish a lot lately... and by "thinking," I mean I've been plotting their eventual downfall. You know, just in case they needed some inspiration.
Let’s start with the
Gators. Florida fans like to talk about their “legacy” as if it’s something they actually
earned. Let’s be real — their entire history consists of a couple of decent seasons sprinkled between a whole lotta mediocrity. Sure, they won a few SEC titles, but that’s like bragging about winning the "Best of the Worst" competition. Do they
ever get out of their own swamp without tripping over their own feet? The only thing they seem to dominate is the “Most Delusional Fanbase” award. Seriously, their idea of "success" is like someone patting themselves on the back for not falling flat on their face while running in flip-flops.
Now,
Notre Dame. Oh boy. The “Golden Domers” are about as relevant in the modern era as my 2007 Nokia phone. They act like they invented football and that they’re still the top dogs, but the only thing they’ve got going for them is that old-school "tradition" thing they love to shout about. Newsflash: It’s 2025, not 1988, and no one cares that you
might’vewon a national title a thousand years ago. They show up to the big games and promptly get their lunch handed to them, while their fans sit there with their gold helmets, pretending it’s still a magical time in college football. But hey, keep dreaming, Notre Dame — I’ll be over here laughing as your season ends the same way every year:
in disappointment.
The truth is, the only thing Gator and Irish fans have in common is their delusion. They both think they’re important, but we all know the real deal. Miami is sitting comfortably at the top while they scramble around looking for any shred of relevance.
So, to all the Gators and Irish fans out there:
I hope you enjoy your mid-tier bowl games and that
"rich tradition" you hold so dearly — we’ll be over here hoarding championships.

Go Canes, baby. Always.