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Thoughts From the Bench Press: FSU

JHallCanes

JHallCanes

2028 is our year
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That’s right mother****ers and mother****ettes…after a bye week it’s that time again!

But this is a very special edition of BENCH DAYYYYY

This is that ************. THAT week. THAT game.

I want yall face deep in a snowbank piled up on the asscheek of a girl named after season of the year just trying to pay her way through college at 31

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I want your vials lined up like a Manhattan bar

I want yall mother****ers looking like a pincushion

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It’s PR time baby. It’s that mutha****in WEEK

THIS IS THE BIGGEST GAME IN OVER 20 YEARS

It’s all been leading to this moment. Notre Dame. USF. Florida.

It’s time to add one more infinity stone to the mix.

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Notre Dame ✅
Florida ✅
FSU

Yall mother****ers are next

FSU got off to a hot start by embarrassing Alabama at home

The media and the Miami fans couldn’t contain their excitement about Tommy Castellanos

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Then Little Brother did what Little Brother does and poops themselves on national TV

And now they think Miami is the salvation to their season?

Us? Big Brother?

The University of Mother****in Miami?!

Sorry Little Brother. You’ll be begging us to stop by the end but it’s too late

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THIS is why we walk into Dork Stadium behind our new defensive coordinator like this:

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Corey Heatherman: **** it. He is HIM. I’ll say it. Gus Malzahn hasn’t changed his playbook in 15 years. Heatherman looked at that Tecmo Bowl play sheet and laughed his *** off. He’s been in the opposition OC bag all season. Call this bearded bald ************ NOSTRADOMEUS the way he’s seen it coming.

Sorry Gus ya ******* nerd

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Bain: What’s a trailer parks worst nightmare? A mother****ing Hurricane. Reuben is about to tear through that trailer park like a firestorm. The meth labs will be exploding left and right like The Houston 500. These games are where legends are made and It’s been 24 years since something was headed towards New York City with such a singular purpose of destruction

Malachi Toney: FSU will be focused on the run, for good reason. This will allow Toney to slip out undetected. After the Notre Dame game Malachi awoke to this message on his pillow

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Now The Dark Brotherhood has sent Toney on a stealth mission to gut the FSU defense from the inside out

Jakobe Thomas: Our defense has been amazing. One thing that’s lacked a little bit is turnovers. It’s simply from playing fast but disciplined guarding against mobile QBs and being “safe”. Well this is the breakout game for turnovers. Castellanos throws a football like Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds and he’s throwing at least two picks

Verdict:

This is it boys. Everything we’ve done to this point doesn’t matter unless we bring it home. I want blood. I want FSU to be so physically ruined from this game they’ll have to pull an Annabelle Chong and retire. I want alcohol and drug filled fury from the fanbase that makes the FSU fans dive into the crawl spaces under their “homes”.

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FSU is a stripper trying to convince us they love us and next thing you know our wallet is missing. It’s simply eye candy and discipline

The only team that can beat us Saturday is Miami

Remember…we are the boss

The OL and DL are bigger, tuffer, and more fizzical than theirs. All we have to do is remember:

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Good Guys 31
Bad Guys 20

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Funny, I predicted the same score last night in my pre-game.

Much prefer your post to my Gen X, old school breakdown—but yeah, I'm not buying Florida State.

Jumped on sleepwalking Alabama ... beat up on two high schools ... pushed around in the trenches by Virginia.

Yeah, last year is last year—as Miami has proven with a revamped defense and Corey Hetherman—but that 2-10 is still inside the herts and souls of Florida State faithful. Let the Canes get a few early and I don't see how the Noles have the moxie to hang.

We've waited decades as Canes fans to see Miami with a SEC-like offensive line and to get our old school d-line back; UM finally a program that is dominant in the trenches and is committed to running the football.

For all the talk about Smart, Kiffin, Sark, etc.—nobody is more Saban-like with how he chose to build out a program than what Mario has done with his trench warfare.

... and if we get a dry field, have to believe Dawson and Beck want to cook a little bit as they're sick of the narrative the first three rain games; fronting like No. 11 isn't "that dude".

31-20. LFG.


itsauthing.com

ALL-IN ON THE HARD-NOSED MIAMI HURRICANES; NOT BUYING FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES HYPE - ItsAUThing.com — Formerly allCanesBlog.com — It's All About 'The U'!

Let's get it out in the open—the Florida State Seminoles can absolutely beat the Miami Hurricanes this weekend in Tallahassee. This is a storied rivalry
itsauthing.com
 
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ItsAUThing.com said:
Funny, I predicted the same score last night in my pre-game.

Much prefer your post to my Gen X, old school breakdown—but yeah, I'm not buying Florida State.

Jumped on sleepwalking Alabama ... beat up on two high schools ... pushed around in the trenches by Virginia.

Yeah, last year is last year—as Miami has proven with a revamped defense and Corey Hetherman—but that 2-10 is still inside the herts and souls of Florida State faithful. Let the Canes get a few early and I don't see how the Noles have the moxie to hang.

We've waited decades as Canes fans to see Miami with a SEC-like offensive line and to get our old school d-line back; UM finally a program that is dominant in the trenches and is committed to running the football.

For all the talk about Smart, Kiffin, Sark, etc.—nobody is more Saban-like with how he chose to build out a program than what Mario has done with his trench warfare.

... and if we get a dry field, have to believe Dawson and Beck want to cook a little bit as they're sick of the narrative the first three rain games; fronting like No. 11 isn't "that dude".

31-20. LFG.


itsauthing.com

ALL-IN ON THE HARD-NOSED MIAMI HURRICANES; NOT BUYING FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES HYPE - ItsAUThing.com — Formerly allCanesBlog.com — It's All About 'The U'!

Let's get it out in the open—the Florida State Seminoles can absolutely beat the Miami Hurricanes this weekend in Tallahassee. This is a storied rivalry
itsauthing.com
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I wanted to make the score closer simply because of the rivalry and energy aspect but no matter what 11 points was as close as I could make it in my brain

If we just play our game it’s a dog walk
 
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