Thoughts From the Bench Press: FAMU

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Ahmad Moten: We’ve all been worried about DT. The size queens on the board were trolling the country for a 330lb DT like Paranos trolls the parking lot of an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Turns out we may have had the answer in the building the entire time.
@Paranos Can you confirm if the above is true?
Cole: Fundamentally sound. Lunch pail guy. High motor. He white. But this dude has some Sacramento Kings Jay Williams in him and he’s gonna be fuggin to The Offspring in this one
Take a shot every time you hear one of the announcers or coaches describe Cole as any of the following:

real gym rat, sneaky athletic, scrappy, first one in, last one out, coach's son, student of the game, gamer, gritty, winner, high football IQ, good fundamentals, plays the game the right way, heady ,cerebral, deceptively fast, intangibles, gets the most out of his abilities, has a lot of heart, he's a real grinder, out-hustles, and finally, probably the best one "someone you’d love your daughter to date."
 
Dear NCAA,

View attachment 301920

We deserved that.

My Canes brothers and sisters we sit here fresh off of what might have been the best week to be a Miami fan in 20 years.

We obliterated the Gators in their trailer park and watched FSU feebly drop to 0-2 on the season two days later.

I admit, the hangover has been real and I’m finding it difficult to find the energy to write a hype article headed into a glorified scrimmage

LMAO GTFO

That’s what the DMAA is for baby!

Give that toilet seat a nice shine because we are gonna need the whole rim for this one

View attachment 301890

Now everyone that’s been in the gym knows the importance of dialing it back once in a while. Get back to basics, work on form, avoid injuries, put in the work but give the body a little break as well.

We call it DELOAD week

Excuse Me Lol GIF



But that doesn’t mean we slow down around here. It’s the home opener and it’s time to steamroll another team from Florida. Its us vs us this week so I want everyone in the parking lot like this

View attachment 301889

This Miami team is different. We took a page from the old school Canes that loved to go on the road and **** up the fans days. Not only did we force them into a corner while we ****ed their sister wives, the recruits were there to see it.

The media is back to loving us. The subtle (and not so subtle) racism is back and we just got sucked off more than Ron Jeremy

Cam Ward is Him. The one.

Offensively and defensively we may as well have been calling the plays for Florida. Cam diced up their secondary like Bobby Flay with a howitzer for a right arm.

View attachment 301928

It was 41-17 but we all know it could have been much much worse.

The lasting image from the game?

View attachment 301884

nephew GIF


To be honest I don’t even know who we play this week. Its likely going to be yet another Dollar Store version of a Florida football team with a midget QB that’s a better running back than anything.

You know the one. When you look at their jerseys closer the tag says Fruit of the Loom.

Ol Blunder Armour *** program.

We shouldn’t even be on the field with teams like this. But since we are, let’s just slap them around and send them home.

View attachment 301922

Here’s why we dominate the home opener:

We show up: This team is too talented and too prepared to have a lapse. I still want to highlight some players I’ll have an eye on though.

Ahmad Moten: We’ve all been worried about DT. The size queens on the board were trolling the country for a 330lb DT like Paranos trolls the parking lot of an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Turns out we may have had the answer in the building the entire time.

Markeith Williams: I’m calling an interception in this game…if the other QB knows how to throw a pass. Meesh and Jaden Harris had great games for us against UiF, but Markeith made one of the plays of the game. We’ve been waiting for him to step up and he looks like he’s ready.

Cole: Fundamentally sound. Lunch pail guy. High motor. He white. But this dude has some Sacramento Kings Jay Williams in him and he’s gonna be fuggin to The Offspring in this one

Chris Johnson: I wanna see this dude running like he stole a TV. We focused on the power run game which opened up the Florida defense wider than Jill Kelly. This time I expect us to get guys like CJ and Ray Ray the ball in space and watch em do work


Verdict:

To once again quote one of the 🐐 villains in TV history: “it’s already over”

The Playoff bound Miami Hurricanes playing a band school that happens to have a football team.



“We got our **** pushed in by the Hurricanes”

Good guys 63
IDK 3

View attachment 301888
The DJ at the stadium should play The Offsprings Pretty fly for a white guy whenever Coles on the field
 
Peanut?

Aka the Apex M&M
Yes! I also enjoy almond, but there weren't any. I grabbed the one bag of peanut I saw. There were a couple of plain left along with a Snickers and some Kind bars. Needless to say, there are still some Kind bars left in there, but none of the good stuff.
 
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The size queens on the board were trolling the country for a 330lb DT like Paranos trolls the parking lot of an Overeaters Anonymous meeting.
Always at least one line in these that gets me, this one is tremendous.

Also I peeped that signature change.
 
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Dear NCAA,

View attachment 301920

We deserved that.

My Canes brothers and sisters we sit here fresh off of what might have been the best week to be a Miami fan in 20 years.

We obliterated the Gators in their trailer park and watched FSU feebly drop to 0-2 on the season two days later.

I admit, the hangover has been real and I’m finding it difficult to find the energy to write a hype article headed into a glorified scrimmage

LMAO GTFO

That’s what the DMAA is for baby!

Give that toilet seat a nice shine because we are gonna need the whole rim for this one

View attachment 301890

Now everyone that’s been in the gym knows the importance of dialing it back once in a while. Get back to basics, work on form, avoid injuries, put in the work but give the body a little break as well.

We call it DELOAD week

Excuse Me Lol GIF



But that doesn’t mean we slow down around here. It’s the home opener and it’s time to steamroll another team from Florida. Its us vs us this week so I want everyone in the parking lot like this

View attachment 301889

This Miami team is different. We took a page from the old school Canes that loved to go on the road and **** up the fans days. Not only did we force them into a corner while we ****ed their sister wives, the recruits were there to see it.

The media is back to loving us. The subtle (and not so subtle) racism is back and we just got sucked off more than Ron Jeremy

Cam Ward is Him. The one.

Offensively and defensively we may as well have been calling the plays for Florida. Cam diced up their secondary like Bobby Flay with a howitzer for a right arm.

View attachment 301928

It was 41-17 but we all know it could have been much much worse.

The lasting image from the game?

View attachment 301884

nephew GIF


To be honest I don’t even know who we play this week. Its likely going to be yet another Dollar Store version of a Florida football team with a midget QB that’s a better running back than anything.

You know the one. When you look at their jerseys closer the tag says Fruit of the Loom.

Ol Blunder Armour *** program.

We shouldn’t even be on the field with teams like this. But since we are, let’s just slap them around and send them home.

View attachment 301922

Here’s why we dominate the home opener:

We show up: This team is too talented and too prepared to have a lapse. I still want to highlight some players I’ll have an eye on though.

Ahmad Moten: We’ve all been worried about DT. The size queens on the board were trolling the country for a 330lb DT like Paranos trolls the parking lot of an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Turns out we may have had the answer in the building the entire time.

Markeith Williams: I’m calling an interception in this game…if the other QB knows how to throw a pass. Meesh and Jaden Harris had great games for us against UiF, but Markeith made one of the plays of the game. We’ve been waiting for him to step up and he looks like he’s ready.

Cole: Fundamentally sound. Lunch pail guy. High motor. He white. But this dude has some Sacramento Kings Jay Williams in him and he’s gonna be fuggin to The Offspring in this one

Chris Johnson: I wanna see this dude running like he stole a TV. We focused on the power run game which opened up the Florida defense wider than Jill Kelly. This time I expect us to get guys like CJ and Ray Ray the ball in space and watch em do work


Verdict:

To once again quote one of the 🐐 villains in TV history: “it’s already over”

The Playoff bound Miami Hurricanes playing a band school that happens to have a football team.



“We got our **** pushed in by the Hurricanes”

Good guys 63
IDK 3

View attachment 301888
These are going to get better every week. Carry on brother. We enjoy the work you put in.
 
Hitting Legs tomorrow! Slowly getting better at using a squat rack and hitting 180lbs (..I'm 140lb lol)
Good form over everything, including weight.

Never lean over on squats, and on lighter days, work on getting great depth to strengthen the joints; well below 90 degrees.

The goal is to be able to squat for many years. But that requires great discipline every time.
 
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