Pick a seat and tell me why

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Obvious answer is 8

Sleeper is 2. I'd get him him good and drunk, soften him up with compliments about ND and then hit him with, "Doritos, really?"

1,4,5: I'm sorry, too intense.

There needs to be a seat between DMoney and Pete-ism
 
7 and 8 are the best. If the directions say there is only dialogue between nearest seat in all directions it’s 7 for me.
 
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