Insight from fellow fathers...

[CanesDominate]

How does a man keep his cool when his son has potential to be a solid football player and a
high school staff continues to push him aside for others without giving him a chance?

I live in Oklahoma and it used to be about earning your position. I don't want to
take the easy route and go stomping off to another school district, that just facilitates a runner's
mentality and teaches my son nothing. I've always been about boldly confronting coaches but I've
moved on from that approach as seeing that positive changes last a short while.

My son was a premature baby that doctors told us wouldn't be able to do many things. He's now a
strong and healthy sophomore and it's his coaches who have replaced the doctors as naysayers.
Do coaches not understand how important a role they can play in kids' lives anymore?

 

[SFbayCane]

I wish there was an answer to your question, but there isn't IMO. Every coach at every level possesses an ego the size of the Grand Canyon. They ALL know better than everyone else.

About the only thing Ive seen that can get a kid on the field at the HS level is money. Skool districts are broke. Generally, $2K will get your kid some reps. If the coach doesnt like you or your kid, hand the donation over to the AD. That's the only thing Ive seen that can supersede a coach's ego.

 

[tjl1388]

The trick is truly determining if your son is gifted and truly being passed up or if....and I say this as a truly unbiased source....you're seeing him through a fathers eyes and he's either not ready or not cut out for high school football.

Are we talking JV or Varsity? Sophomore is still young. I know when I played and in the current high school I help out, the sophomores are 95% JV with only a few on Varsity. The few that are there are still VERY green and learning the system.

 

[Tad Footeball]

Ben Roethlisberger's high school corch let his son play QB over him and Roethlisberger only got to play the position his senior year. So a ton of high school corches are idiots, have agendas or are egomaniacs. Then again you might be looking at your kid through daddy glasses. Tough situation but my only suggestion would be to send your kid to some top flight camps in your area and get the opinion of the coaches there that have no skin in the game. If they can't believe that your kid isn't getting playing time then confront the high school coaches or explore transferring if football is high on your son's priority list. If your kid is only minimally better than kids playing in front of him though you're looking for a world of trouble by raising **** with his coaches now.

 

[Fountain of Canes]

How does a man keep his cool when his son has potential to be a solid football player and a
high school staff continues to push him aside for others without giving him a chance?

I live in Oklahoma and it used to be about earning your position. I don't want to
take the easy route and go stomping off to another school district, that just facilitates a runner's
mentality and teaches my son nothing. I've always been about boldly confronting coaches but I've
moved on from that approach as seeing that positive changes last a short while.

My son was a premature baby that doctors told us wouldn't be able to do many things. He's now a
strong and healthy sophomore and it's his coaches who have replaced the doctors as naysayers.
Do coaches not understand how important a role they can play in kids' lives anymore?

I understand this situation. Coaches have favorites. it is what it is. Golden prefers Berrios over Malcolm Lewis for example. im saying that to say this its up to your Son to get noticed. when i was a senior going into to spring i was an afterthought by the coaches. they set the depth and i wasnt near it. during that off season i worked my tail off to get in the best shape and get stronger. granted you son is a sophomore so he will stil grow.I wanted to transfer but i couldnt so i had to get noticed to play. when spring ball came. i was ****ing all the starters off because i was going hard every rep. when we had 1 on 1 drills i got mean and went hard. the coaches notices and i played in every single game and started 2 my senior year where the year before i played mop up duty for blowout games. he has to want it. if he transfers, it will be the same thing. he will be starting from scratch. so its up to you if you do that.

 

[Dingaan1828]

If I had a nickel for every father that thought his kid should be the starter, I wouldn't be rich, but I'd have a helluva nickel collection. Yes, there are coaches who play kids for wrong reasons, but IMO, there are far more fathers who can't see past their kid.

 

[DadeCountyFinest]

Stick it out there's competition and favoritism everywhere

 

[JaxonCane]

#1 Ask your son why he is not playing. What is he doing or not doing that is keeping him out of the rotation? He should be able to tell you - If he can't then there is a disconnect between him and the coach. If there is a disconnect then you have to figure out why, is the son not listening or is the coach not communicating well.
#2 Ask the coach. But be ready to hear things that might sting --- More importantly be ready to go work on the deficiencies that is keeping your son off the field.
#3 If you go in with a bad attitude - it is all the coaches fault - well you probably will not get to a position where you can actually help your son. Remember coaches like to win, they will play kids that they think can help them win. Also how they view a player is mostly (90%) established in the off season & spring ball - they love kids who are invested - Kids who are all In. Good Luck

 

[The Franchise]

Two words: Butt out.

 

[CanesDominate]

The trick is truly determining if your son is gifted and truly being passed up or if....and I say this as a truly unbiased source....you're seeing him through a fathers eyes and he's either not ready or not cut out for high school football.

Are we talking JV or Varsity? Sophomore is still young. I know when I played and in the current high school I help out, the sophomores are 95% JV with only a few on Varsity. The few that are there are still VERY green and learning the system.

He's headed into his sophomore year and coaches are enamored with
a kid that they fed while I made him sit out because he was playing in class. He got his grades right and the coaches used him being out for
grades against him. I love my son and I truly believe he has immense
potential and he's worked his butt off up until this point.

 

[azcanesfan]

Unfortunately, you are hurting you kids chances here. If you are going in and "boldly" confronting coaches, they may not want to reward that type of behavior as then they would have to deal with it from other parents.

If you held your kids out of workouts and practices, then they have the right to hold it against your kid. Typically he would have to start at the bottom of the depth chart.

 

[Chuckles]

How does a man keep his cool when his son has potential to be a solid football player and a
high school staff continues to push him aside for others without giving him a chance?

I live in Oklahoma and it used to be about earning your position. I don't want to
take the easy route and go stomping off to another school district, that just facilitates a runner's
mentality and teaches my son nothing. I've always been about boldly confronting coaches but I've
moved on from that approach as seeing that positive changes last a short while.

My son was a premature baby that doctors told us wouldn't be able to do many things. He's now a
strong and healthy sophomore and it's his coaches who have replaced the doctors as naysayers.
Do coaches not understand how important a role they can play in kids' lives anymore?

I understand this situation. Coaches have favorites. it is what it is. Golden prefers Berrios over Malcolm Lewis for example. im saying that to say this its up to your Son to get noticed. when i was a senior going into to spring i was an afterthought by the coaches. they set the depth and i wasnt near it. during that off season i worked my tail off to get in the best shape and get stronger. granted you son is a sophomore so he will stil grow.I wanted to transfer but i couldnt so i had to get noticed to play. when spring ball came. i was ****ing all the starters off because i was going hard every rep. when we had 1 on 1 drills i got mean and went hard. the coaches notices and i played in every single game and started 2 my senior year where the year before i played mop up duty for blowout games. he has to want it. if he transfers, it will be the same thing. he will be starting from scratch. so its up to you if you do that.

Golden is a horrible coach, yet Berrios IS a better receiver. I could be wrong, but time will tell. Can't disagree with the rest of your story.

 

[Coach Macho]

COACH'S PERSPECTIVE:


I've seen this many times. Luckily I didn't/don't have to deal with it directly cause they usually go to the Head Coach instead of me...which is great because I'm probably a little too blunt and honest for most parents to stomach.

There's a lot of clueless coaches who make ****-poor personnel decisions but at the end of the day we all wanna win. If a kid is clearly the better player we're not gonna keep him off the field. I've seen coaches put players in positions they don't belong in but I don't think I've ever seen anybody bench a kid who's clearly a better player.

Parents tend to think their kids are better than they really are. Parents aren't at practice. They don't know what goes on between Monday and Thursday, they just wanna know why their kid isn't playing on Friday nights. It could be a variety of things, from lack of technique to not knowing his playbook.

I can tell you this much though...

There's some dumb coaches out there but not many of them are gonna bench a kid who can help them win.

 

[SigEp77]

The trick is truly determining if your son is gifted and truly being passed up or if....and I say this as a truly unbiased source....you're seeing him through a fathers eyes and he's either not ready or not cut out for high school football.

Are we talking JV or Varsity? Sophomore is still young. I know when I played and in the current high school I help out, the sophomores are 95% JV with only a few on Varsity. The few that are there are still VERY green and learning the system.

He's headed into his sophomore year and coaches are enamored with
a kid that they fed while I made him sit out because he was playing in class. He got his grades right and the coaches used him being out for
grades against him. I love my son and I truly believe he has immense
potential and he's worked his butt off up until this point.

1. Your kid acted a fool in school, what's to say he doesn't act a fool on the field when you're not around?
2. If you are around all the time at practice, well, that speaks volumes.
3. See pic below.

 

[Coach Macho]

The trick is truly determining if your son is gifted and truly being passed up or if....and I say this as a truly unbiased source....you're seeing him through a fathers eyes and he's either not ready or not cut out for high school football.

Are we talking JV or Varsity? Sophomore is still young. I know when I played and in the current high school I help out, the sophomores are 95% JV with only a few on Varsity. The few that are there are still VERY green and learning the system.

He's headed into his sophomore year and coaches are enamored with
a kid that they fed while I made him sit out because he was playing in class. He got his grades right and the coaches used him being out for
grades against him. I love my son and I truly believe he has immense
potential and he's worked his butt off up until this point.

YOU kept your kid out of practice?

If you're kid missed a few days of practice then that's probably one of the reasons he's not playing. Practice time is valuable. Any time a player doesn't attend practice he's missing valuable reps and valuable information. Surely you don't expect the coaches to just thrust your kid into the starting line-up once he starts showing up for practice again, do you?

That's exactly how my starting Corner lost his spot last season. His mom held him out for a week and while he was gone his backup was making strides. He never got his starting spot back. I didn't do it out of spite but he simply wasn't around to learn and get the reps. The kid that took his place deserved a shot for the starting role just as much as he does...and when you're caught up in competition for a spot and there's no clear favorite then it's survival of the fittest.

 

[brittle757]

The trick is truly determining if your son is gifted and truly being passed up or if....and I say this as a truly unbiased source....you're seeing him through a fathers eyes and he's either not ready or not cut out for high school football.

Are we talking JV or Varsity? Sophomore is still young. I know when I played and in the current high school I help out, the sophomores are 95% JV with only a few on Varsity. The few that are there are still VERY green and learning the system.

He's headed into his sophomore year and coaches are enamored with
a kid that they fed while I made him sit out because he was playing in class. He got his grades right and the coaches used him being out for
grades against him. I love my son and I truly believe he has immense
potential and he's worked his butt off up until this point.

YOU kept your kid out of practice?

If you're kid missed a few days of practice then that's probably one of the reasons he's not playing. Practice time is valuable. Any time a player doesn't attend practice he's missing valuable reps and valuable information. Surely you don't expect the coaches to just thrust your kid into the starting line-up once he starts showing up for practice again, do you?

That's exactly how my starting Corner lost his spot last season. His mom held him out for a week and while he was gone his backup was making strides. He never got his starting spot back. I didn't do it out of spite but he simply wasn't around to learn and get the reps. The kid that took his place deserved a shot for the starting role just as much as he does...and when you're caught up in competition for a spot and there's no clear favorite then it's survival of the fittest.

Sounds like a direct correlation in the real world when it comes to jobs.

 

[CanesDominate]

I guess i got what i deserved expecting advice only to receive
Insults about me and my son.

I sat my son out practice because his grades were not good.
Once he was eligible he did everything that was supposed
To and more, but the coaches wouldn't let him play any more.

When i approached coaches i wasn't rude or obnoxious. I'm
not some delusional dad who thinks his kid is the next Barry Sanders
Neither.

I made a regrettable mistake by posting this, I never imagined
guys would come at me or my son like this. I was upset and didn't
make my points clear when i posted the thread. I don't think it
would've mattered.

 

[3FW]

Tell your kid to ask the coach what he needs to do to play more. Encourage your son to be mentally tough and take it as a challenge. Coaches are human, they make mistakes.

 

[Cane2]

Originally you didn't start out telling the critical part of YOU intervening by taking OUT your child yourself...

well that is confusing, now you just wrote that 'Once he was eligible" implying the school's grade he got and subsequently the grade requirements got him out.

oh well, it's hard to get your right story for the most appropriate response with the story going thru a slippery slope,,,even still you got tons of good advise either way; whether he was taken out by or taken out by the school eligibility requirements. Anyway, for the pain of "anonymously" putting your sports situation out here you got lots of great advice along with some rib-bing and ridicule. Small price to pay for good knowledge

I guess i got what i deserved expecting advice only to receive
Insults about me and my son.

I sat my son out practice because his grades were not good.
Once he was eligible he did everything that was supposed
To and more, but the coaches wouldn't let him play any more.

When i approached coaches i wasn't rude or obnoxious. I'm
not some delusional dad who thinks his kid is the next Barry Sanders
Neither.

I made a regrettable mistake by posting this, I never imagined
guys would come at me or my son like this. I was upset and didn't
make my points clear when i posted the thread. I don't think it
would've mattered.

 

[plantcity3]

Just last night during halftime of the Por-GS game, Shaq was speaking on CJ McCollum being ready when his number is called. He was saying how his son, who is a freshman in hs, isn't getting alot of pt. His best advice to his son is be professional, continue to work, and when your number is called be ready.

Thats really the best thing your son can do. Alot can and will change on teams from now until the start of the regular season.

Also, as Macho said, some coaches take missing practice or workouts seriously. During my jr year in hs, my coaches was threatening me with losing my spot because I was going to baseball practice everyday. I was on the baseball team lol. It took my dad sitting down with them for them to leave me alone about playing baseball.