Tears Gator Tears

[RVACane]

have they had more recent success than us??? Yes…I’ll give them that…But ponder this my fellow Canes Fans….In the 15-20yrs since our last title, if the gaytor program is SO GREAT, then why haven’t they even caught up(much less surpassed us) in winning titles, more 1st round picks, more HOF’s, etc. etc.??? I’ll tell you why….In the IMMORTAL WORDS of Da Big Homie CajunCane(giving you ya flowers while you’re still on this side homie): “UFAG SUCKS!!! ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL!!!” drop

I think they’ve had a couple 4-6 win seasons as well in recent history

 

[Dr. House]

You know what's great about reading these Gaytor porsts? It's like EVERYTHING is so very brand new to them.

Wait, Jaden is on the Miami Immortals? WOW. Hang on, he's already scheduled to play in a 7-on-7 Tournament at the same time as my dopey friends have been telling me he'll be in Hogtown? AMAAAAZING! Wait, guys actually stall and delay and say "my travel agent still hasn't called me back" when they are trying to hold off the pushy girl who is trying to set a wedding date? I DID NOT KNOW THAT. Hang on a second, you mean to tell me that JOHN RUIZ sponsors the Miami Immortals? I'M GOING TO EAT MY FEELINGS NOW.

My favorite bit - Jaden Rashada is just trying to build "buzz". Why? Will he get his fifth star? Will he get more attention? Is Jaden scheduled to make his announcement on an ESPN-FoxSports-CBS Sports-NBC Sports Network simulcast (and, yes, I know the NBC Sports Network has ceased broadcast at the time I typed this, I was just testing you). Is "buzz" going to get the Gaytors any more recruits? **** no. If this kid has REALLY picked the Gaytors, you would want him to announce as quickly and as overwhelmingly as possible, THAT will bring in recruits, not "buzz". "You know, Florida was so amazing, I fell in love immediately, and I forgot about everyone else."

But good news, guys, I just got my hands on the Jaden Rashada Gaytor OV agenda:

Wednesday, June 8th - 4 am CST - depart Baton Rouge by private jet. Fortunately, Baton Rouge is in the Central Time Zone, so Jaden will be able to gain an hour by flying west.

Wednesday, June 8th - 5 am EST - Rashada family arrives in Hogtown Airport, Gate 2 (of 2). Blake Alderman interviews Jaden at Blake's favorite cheesesteak stand inside of Hogtown National Airport (notice I didn't say "International"). Marching band is on-site to play the famous music from Jaws. Mr. Two Bits offers to blow Jaden.

Wednesday, June 8th - 6 am EST - breakfast is served! BD Billy's Army arranges for the local Chick Fil-A to be closed down for a private party, and QueJay is on hand personally to walk around with trays full of Minis and tots.

Wednesday, June 8th - 7 am EST - BD Billy and BDE Jaden are treated to the beautiful sight of the sun rising over Payne's Prairie.

Wednesday, June 8th - 7:30 am EST - while on the south side of Hogtown, BD Billy decides to drive Jaden to Risque Cafe, which is open to truckers 24-7. Billy tries to get Jaden to share a Li'l Asher with him, but when Jaden notices a short curly hair in the gravy, he claims that he is already full on Chick Fil-A Minis.

Wednesday, June 8th - 9 am EST - On campus, Billy shows Jaden all the different no-show jobs the Gaytors can offer to Jaden's mother.

Wednesday, June 8th - 10 am EST - Billy tries to show Jaden the "housing" that he has set up for the Rashada family, unfortunately it turns out to be the Bat House on Lake Alice.

Wednesday, June 8th - 11 am EST - Gaypier shows Jaden Rashada the QB depth chart.

Wednesday, June 8th - 11:00:30 EST - Gaypier shows Jaden Rashada the WR/RB recruiting list.

Wednesday, June 8th - 11:01 EST - Jaden Rashada stops laughing and is escorted to the "statues", where he can view all the great Gaytor Heisman-winning quarterbacks, such as Feleipe Franks, Kyle Trask, Emory Jones, and Anthony Richardson.

Wednesday, June 8th - 12:00 EST (noon) - Billy's Army has once again made amazing arrangements to impress any recruit. The delivery driver for Five Star Pizza arrives PROMPTLY at 12:01 pm AND is tipped in advance.

Wednesday, June 8th - 1:00 pm EST - Rashada, tired from all of his travel and full of all the Chick Fil-A/Five Star carbs, takes a nap.

Wednesday, June 8th - 5:00 pm EST - BD Bllly points out the hotel where Jaden WOULD HAVE stayed, if he was able to spend more than 24 hours in beautiful, scenic, not-as-horrific-as-advertised Hogtown. The group ends up at the Cheesecake Factory on Archer, the center of all Hogtown culture.

Wednesday, June 8th - 7:00 pm EST - Gaypier attempts to impress the Rashadas with the Scooby-Doo-like scene where the bats fly out of the Bat House on Lake Alice, but the family remains unimpressed with Hogtown housing.

Wednesday, June 8th - 11:30 pm EST - Rashada family boards a direct flight from Hogtown to Las Vegas; fortunately, there are so many degenerate meth-head gamblers living in Alachua County that Hogtown National has direct flights to Vegas departing every 15 minutes.

Thursday, June 9th - 5 am PST - Jaden arrives in Vegas, overly tired and bloated from all the fatty carbs he consumed in Hogtown.

Thurdsay, June 9th - Sunday June 12th - Jaden plays poorly in the Tournament, Miami Immortals proceed to lose every game, John Ruiz still makes money.

Monday, June 13th - Rivals, 247, and ESPN drop Jaden Rashada to a low 3-star ranking, based on their typical over-reliance on one particular camp. on3 copies the other three websites five minutes later.

Later on Monday, June 13th - BD Billy proceeds to ask Jaden Rashada to submit another videotape, and then terminates Jaden's recruitment when he refuses to do so. Gaytor fans promptly report "Jaden was never a take" on all of the websites.

I cannot even attempt to describe how much I love these ranting ****posts from you.

 

[JD08]

He does that and he’s not even a real tough guy - you can tell - he says the gayest **** at times and cries like a ***** sometimes - like when he whined about the Rock or NIL when it came out - to the point that his panic attacks on their board are a running joke there.

 

[Mikeiavelli]

The thing I got from all that was that NorthernGaytard wants to be like Charlie Sheen in 2 and a Half Men with his clothes shopping history.

Keep dreaming kiddo.

 

[canesbrah]

How does one drive around the “city and region” of Miami???

This. Miami is the bottom of the state. There is nothing after that lol. Unless you are going to the keys and then guess what? You have to drive through Miami.

 

[RealRussellPumps]

My favorite part of the Gaytor delusion is their false sense of superiority as if they haven't been equally as mediocre over the last decade. Their crowning achievement this decade is giving Bama a good game. In a year where they had the best offense their school has ever seen, the best they could muster was 8-4.

 

[TheOriginalCane]

Their offer to Rashada must be massive for him to have them in it and really in it. I get the depth chart thing but still - too many other negatives

And we have to be truly honest here.

4 SEC visits. To four of the six most devious, bag-game SEC schools (apparently Alabama and Georgia are all set at QB).

This isn't about NIL. NIL is a cover story for these 4 schools. The illicit money will exceed the NIL money.

 

[oso4lyf]

Very weird flex, but ok

 

[Canes Legacy]

I like how they knock Mario for being mediocre when 1. They wanted him to be their coach and 2. He has won more conference titles in 4 years than they have in the last 14 years.

 

[TrumpyCane]

TrumpyCane wants to know what they will say when he doesn’t even go there

 

[TheOriginalCane]

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I'm honored just to be nominated by Northern...he is going to make me famous on Swampa$$ 247...

I am what "pure delusion looks like"? Little ol' me? Because I pointed out which 7-on-7 team Jaden plays for? Or who sponsors that 7-on-7 team (hint: it's not Chico's Bail Bonds)? Or that the team sponsor has a custom 767?

Or was Northern upset by my accurate characterization of Alachua County and its crappy airport?

But I do appreciate Pragmatic's pragmatic advice to just "drive around" the entire Miami region. He's smart, and pragmatic too...

 

[TheOriginalCane]

Hey Northern Gator!

Cmon and create an account on here. We want you to. You don't have to screenshot what we do on gator tears and run back to your circle jerk of racist dingleberry gaytor jort ***** with screenshots.

BE A MAN!

Püssy

You know, it's a good point. He is yapping about how we "wouldn't last 2 pages with him" on a "community thread". Of course, the Gaytor and SemenHole boards are known for making most of their threads "membership-only". But there is an easy solution. This board is not owned by or affiliated with Rivals, 247, or on3. We don't HAVE "membership-only" sections (contrary to pernicious rumors). So Northern is free to register his very own log-in name on our board, and then we can see if he lasts 2 pages with us.

It really shouldn't matter which board hosts this lovely community discussion, but this board is far more open and non-censoring, with no "membership" rules to prevent certain posters or certain viewing.

Come on, Northern, you are welcome here. We've had plenty of rival fans join us for debate. I feel fairly confident that I can convince you that I am not what "pure delusion looks like". We are pretty honest here about our chances in recruiting, we know when we are in it and we know when we've been beat. And the same is true for our discussions with rivals. We may not like you, but we'll be honest and direct with you.

Bring it on, Northern.

 

[TheOriginalCane]

Yeah, he included Region in there. So does he drive tamiami trail from Naples to the Keys???

Sure, but how does he get from Tamiami to the 9336 without Taking the Turnpike? Is he a Seminole Indian with an airboat?

 

[TheOriginalCane]

Lol… how does one drive “around” Miami? You either drive to or drive through.

The same way one drives "around" Holopaw or Yeehaw Junction. YOU DON'T. You can't. Nobody can avoid driving straight through those metropolises.

 

[JD08]

You know, it's a good point. He is yapping about how we "wouldn't last 2 pages with him" on a "community thread". Of course, the Gaytor and SemenHole boards are known for making most of their threads "membership-only". But there is an easy solution. This board is not owned by or affiliated with Rivals, 247, or on3. We don't HAVE "membership-only" sections (contrary to pernicious rumors). So Northern is free to register his very own log-in name on our board, and then we can see if he lasts 2 pages with us.

It really shouldn't matter which board hosts this lovely community discussion, but this board is far more open and non-censoring, with no "membership" rules to prevent certain posters or certain viewing.

Come on, Northern, you are welcome here. We've had plenty of rival fans join us for debate. I feel fairly confident that I can convince you that I am not what "pure delusion looks like". We are pretty honest here about our chances in recruiting, we know when we are in it and we know when we've been beat. And the same is true for our discussions with rivals. We may not like you, but we'll be honest and direct with you.

Bring it on, Northern.

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We've got The Rock, they've got Milton from Office Space.
We've got Ray Liotta, they've got the co-star from Another *** Movie.

 

[DTP]

Only way you can “drive” around Miami is in a boat.

 

[TC@ne]

Only way you can “drive” around Miami is in a boat.

Come on man, you severely underestimate the capabilities of their airboats. I heard the average **** fan’s airboat has TWO fans.

 

[GeorgiaHurricane]

how does one program become a “lil brother” to another when said program doesn’t have MORE:
1st Round Draft Picks
Collegiate HOF’s
All-Americans
Pro HOF’s
All Pros
National Championships
Head-To-Head Victories
NEVER TOOK a rival off of it’s schedule
etc etc etc

They have an inferiority complex. And I hope the Northern Dummy shows that reply and explain how they are inferior to Miami when it comes to on the field competition. All they have is a on campus stadium. One where Miami has 13-9 win advantage at the Swamp. So we own them in their own stadium

 

[TheOriginalCane]

Lol. Moar TurdTalk starring Beeker…

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I would love to debate Northern.

Post #1 - Yes, the University of Florida and Florida State University were both FOUNDED before the University of Miami. Nobody disputes this. However, I would point out that the University of Miami has been DESEGREGATED longer than both Florida and Florida State, and has been admitting both men and women for longer than Florida and Florida State. So, I don't know, maybe there's something positive to be said about the University of Miami there.

As for the comment about having "less athletic success, less money, and less resources" than Florida and Florida State "both", that is simply not true. It might be arguable about the University of Florida, which has admitted white males for far longer than UM or F$U has, but it is simply not true for Miami when compared to F$U. It's just...not...true...

And to finish out Post #1, how did I just KNOW that he was going to go racist on us, with the "five rangz" Ebonics nonsense...

As for eellss, does anyone know what in the FVCK he is talking about?

---"Ruiz was going to build them a stadium on the back of a high school activity field"? WHAT? No, Ruiz was talking about moving Coral Gables High to a new location, and then using the entirety of the Coral Gables High footprint for a new stadium.

---"Then they were suppose to negotiate the sharing of a new soccer stadium that is being proposed"? So eellss thinks that everything that comes out of Crazy Joe Carrollo's mouth is the truth and should be taken as Gospel? WTF?

---"Forget the stadium"? No, let's not.

---"Now they are proposing to build a $100M football facility that will be the best in the country; nobody knows where it's gonna be built cause there's no land on campus for it"? Really? REALLY? First, it is a $100M all-sports facility. Second, it is a replacement of the 50-year old "old Hecht" building. Third, we know exactly where it is gonna be built. We are tearing down one 2-story building to build a replacement 5 or 6 story building, and we will likely relocate the track for a footprint expansion of the IPF. It's not incredibly complicated. I mean, I guess if "nobody" knows where it's gonna be built, and by "nobody" we mean "nobody on Swampa$$ 247", then I guess he's technically correct.

Please, Mods and Maudes, PLEASE invite some of these 247 Gaytors to join us on this board for some FACTUAL and logical debate...

 

[TheOriginalCane]

I cannot even attempt to describe how much I love these ranting ****posts from you.

Did you notice that Northern Gaytor doesn't bother to post THOSE screenshots. He knows he would immediately lose all of his arguments that (a) we are not witty, and (b) we are delusional.

Suddenly, his fellow Gaytors would realize that we have been hilariously mocking them and THEIR delusions for 5 years on this one thread.