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Tears Gator Tears

TRick72 said:
Lets not forget he also gets another bump because he's committed to a "marquee" program, not Indiana or Minnesota.
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Due to Covid-19, 247 and Rivals are shutting down all of the scouting and rating activities. From now on, all recruits will fax their offer letters, potential position coaches, and rankings from non-live-competition camps to a new clearinghouse facility located in Gainesville, Florida.

There, a crack staff of psychometricians will perform rigorous Gaytor Mathz analysis on all recruits, ranking them by factors such as "where is a kid committed and is that school worse than Florida (of course it is)" and "adjustment factor designed to offset the bias of meany-meany websites".

The latest rankings will be released later today, and I have heard that all 79 Gaytor verbals, leans, leads, prospects, and Flipz candidates are ranked in the Top 100, which is completely fair based on the track record of Quarterback Whisperer Gawd Dan Mullet, the mighty "Gaytor Brand", attendance smack, and, of course, SEC-SEC-SEC.
 
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uprising said:
UM having a small brand might be the most delusional statement I've ever read in all of my tears lololol
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They really believe that their football program and lizard logo is more iconic and historic than the U with our 30 for 30’s & more rings. I mean - I’ll give them basketball and women’s softball.
 
Canesfreak said:
The fact that they are now worried about Uncle Luke as well, and somehow convinced themselves he is back in the bag game, is pure gold.
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Let's break this down a little bit.

On the "what is Miami doing" side, they come up with a MILLION theories. Uncle Puke, Ed Baba Yaga Reed, Massive Miami Bags, Tommy Streeter, relatives of UM employees, imprisonment in home gyms, "bullsh!te in ears", kids wanting to stand around in Miami driveways on Saturdays instead of playing football on Saturdays, lies told by a lame duck head coach who won't be around in anywhere from 1 to 3 years, illegal contact, Covid-19, players are soft and afraid to compete in the SEC-SEC-SEC, and most importantly, vague and unspecified lies that we can only guess at and certainly cannot articulate because they are either so vile and/or unbelievable.

On the "what is UiF doing" side, it's even more hilarious. Over half of the Gaytors fans profess genuine confusion on what could possibly be going wrong for them, particularly with the massive advantages of "on-field", Gaytor brand, GAWD coaches, attendance smack, facilities, Top 10 academic ranking, and SEC-SEC-SEC. But then, when the (slightly) more knowledgeable Gaytors fans point out the issues with the UiF assistant coaches, they dismiss things out of hand. The answer is staring them in the face, but they would rather devote all of their attention and imagination to inventing bizarre Miami attributes rather than admitting Gaytor shortcomings.

It's hilarious. And I love it. And I hope it continues FOREVER.
 
RVACane said:
They really believe that their football program and lizard logo is more iconic and historic than the U with our 30 for 30’s & more rings. I mean - I’ll give them basketball and women’s softball.
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Didn't you hear the news? In order to catch up to Miami's two 30-for-30 documentaries, UiF is commissioning a sequel to their first (very) successful 30-for-30 documentary (on Aaron Hernandez).

The second Gaytors doc is going to focus on how UiF went from being an exclusively white male educational institution with a horribly racist "Gaytor Bait" chant to a much more progressive and predominantly white male educational institution with the most widely recognized and iconic alligator "brand", and that ONLY ONCE did the institution mistakenly put a picture of a crocodile on the cover of the media guide.

Check your local cable listings for broadcast dates and times.
 
TheOriginalCane said:
Didn't you hear the news? In order to catch up to Miami's two 30-for-30 documentaries, UiF is commissioning a sequel to their first (very) successful 30-for-30 documentary (on Aaron Hernandez).

The second Gaytors doc is going to focus on how UiF went from being an exclusively white male educational institution with a horribly racist "Gaytor Bait" chant to a much more progressive and predominantly white male educational institution with the most widely recognized and iconic alligator "brand", and that ONLY ONCE did the institution mistakenly put a picture of a crocodile on the cover of the media guide.

Check your local cable listings for broadcast dates and times.
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DTP said:
Their obsession with class ranking is borderline psychotic. They don’t care whether or not the player is actually good, just that he’s ranked high. They’d rather sign a top 5 class full of busts than a top 15 class full of gems.
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Which Mullen has been doing on the reg.... how many kids does he lose each cycle to "not qualifying" or some other stupid reason...
 
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Also, I don't think Alderman really believes that UF is still in it. He's got to keep the membership coming back for more. There's one poster who seems to get it - calls himself JeffDemps -

"Right, eveyone does know, but it’s pretty obvious that the 247 staff has been asked to keep it quiet out of respect. Ivins has the inside info in Coral Gables.

Blake was told to keep the J Brooks commitment quiet and he did. Ivins came across the J Brooks info independently and immediately dropped a CB. Don’t be so naive."


Alderman denied this was the case but no one believes him. Alderman said "I mainly don’t want to change my pick unless I know for sure. Because I’d hate to have to change it and then have to change it back." Pretty lame if you ask me...
 
Hoyacane1620 said:
Also, I don't think Alderman really believes that UF is still in it. He's got to keep the membership coming back for more. There's one poster who seems to get it - calls himself JeffDemps -

"Right, eveyone does know, but it’s pretty obvious that the 247 staff has been asked to keep it quiet out of respect. Ivins has the inside info in Coral Gables.

Blake was told to keep the J Brooks commitment quiet and he did. Ivins came across the J Brooks info independently and immediately dropped a CB. Don’t be so naive."


Alderman denied this was the case but no one believes him. Alderman said "I mainly don’t want to change my pick unless I know for sure. Because I’d hate to have to change it and then have to change it back." Pretty lame if you ask me...
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Thats why they're gonna crucify him. Some posters can see through his BS and have called him on it. He knows exactly whats happening
 
Hoyacane1620 said:
Also, I don't think Alderman really believes that UF is still in it. He's got to keep the membership coming back for more. There's one poster who seems to get it - calls himself JeffDemps -

"Right, eveyone does know, but it’s pretty obvious that the 247 staff has been asked to keep it quiet out of respect. Ivins has the inside info in Coral Gables.

Blake was told to keep the J Brooks commitment quiet and he did. Ivins came across the J Brooks info independently and immediately dropped a CB. Don’t be so naive."


Alderman denied this was the case but no one believes him. Alderman said "I mainly don’t want to change my pick unless I know for sure. Because I’d hate to have to change it and then have to change it back." Pretty lame if you ask me...
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I think Jeff Demps is another g8r Jeff account. That dude gets tossed repeatedly for being annoying but I do think what he is saying here is accurate as you said. It makes a lot of sense.
 
Hoyacane1620 said:
Which Mullen has been doing on the reg.... how many kids does he lose each cycle to "not qualifying" or some other stupid reason...
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Yeah, this is key.

Even my fellow Gaytor hater, RVA Cane, will acknowledge that they will probably still field a Top 15 class even after whiffing at Palmetto, but the Gaytor fans consider that to be a total disaster.

Meanwhile, they boast over what a great "on-field" coaching staff they have. If that was the case, then a "Top 15" recruiting class every year, with a little bit of that great "coaching", should be a perennial contender in the SEC-SEC-SEC.

But, no, the Gaytor fans MUST have that "Top 5 recruiting class" cache, even though it has been fools gold for the last few years, with all the red-flag blue-chips that they've signed.

As usual, by using deficient Gaytor Mathz, the Gaytor fans believe that if they just land Top 5 classes every year, then the shortest distance between two points MUST be that the Gaytors will be a Top 5 "on-field" team every year.

Gaytor delusions are the best.
 
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TheOriginalCane said:
Yeah, this is key.

Even my fellow Gaytor hater, RVA Cane, will acknowledge that they will probably still field a Top 15 class even after whiffing at Palmetto, but the Gaytor fans consider that to be a total disaster.

Meanwhile, they boast over what a great "on-field" coaching staff they have. If that was the case, then a "Top 15" recruiting class every year, with a little bit of that great "coaching", should be a perennial contender in the SEC-SEC-SEC.

But, no, the Gaytor fans MUST have that "Top 5 recruiting class" cache, even though it has been fools gold for the last few years, with all the red-flag blue-chips that they've signed.

As usual, by using deficient Gaytor Mathz, the Gaytor fans believe that if they just land Top 5 classes every year, then the shortest distance between two points MUST be that the Gaytors will be a Top 5 "on-field" team every year.

Gaytor delusions are the best.
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I couldn’t have even remotely said it better than this.
 
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UMovement said:
Things you will see on August 6th:

Gaytas in disbelief...
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Skinned gaytas...
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Smoked gaytas...
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Gaytas in accidents...
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Suicidal gaytas...
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Gaytas castrations...
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gaytas meth lab explosions...
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gaytas acting like monkeys...
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gaytas last dance...
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And of course - gaytas blue angel deaths... carry on.
thevalleyreport.com

Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

DAVE WEASEL GAINESVILLE, FL – A 37-year-old man is dead after his trailer home was destroyed in a meth-lab explosion, caused by him lighting up ‘blue angels’ to amuse his wife. The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you...
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I gotta special dance just for you, Daddy....
 
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