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Artie Burns arrested

Motherfūcker expects us to believe he can't grab his iPhone and take a pic like in 3 seconds.

Send me one shooting me a bird, just your hand, with the car in the background.

Watch, now he'll say he's traveling, in an airport and can't get to it right now.
 
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RVACane said:
The Franchise said:
Love to see guys use Artie's speeding ticket as a way to shoehorn in their own luxury lifestyles.

I remember the time I got pulled over for getting road head from a super model (who shall remain nameless because I'm not one to toot my own horn) in my Bugatti. Cop was so impressed by the massive size, vascularity and maximum engorgement of my peen that he gave himself a ticket. Never seen anything like it.
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No pun intended but I literally got sucked into this story and envisioned myself in the shoes of the Living Legend, Papi Chulo.
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The Legend aka Papi Chulo is a humble man, dear friend. I only disclose these ribald exploits as inspiration for Artie Burns.
 
OriginalCanesCanesCanes said:
Motherfūcker expects us to believe he can't grab his iPhone and take a pic like in 3 seconds.

Send me one shooting me a bird, just your hand, with the car in the background.

Watch, now he'll say he's traveling, in an airport and can't get to it right now.
Click to expand...

His butler takes all his pictures for him.
 
The Franchise said:
OriginalCanesCanesCanes said:
Motherfūcker expects us to believe he can't grab his iPhone and take a pic like in 3 seconds.

Send me one shooting me a bird, just your hand, with the car in the background.

Watch, now he'll say he's traveling, in an airport and can't get to it right now.
Click to expand...

His butler takes all his pictures for him.
Click to expand...

L O L

IMG_4395.webp
 
Sounds like he's a serial parking offender...gateway offense to deeper and darker serial crimes such as California rolls, activating turn signal within 150' of turn point, and driving in carpool lane with a cardboard cut out in passenger seat. Artie needs some intense psychotherapy while on parole before his insatiable desires are out of control
 
canesplaymaker said:
If you don't show up for a ticket the judge issues a bench warrant and you will be arrested next time your pulled over. I get about 3 or 4 speeding tickets a year and just call the ticket clinic. I guess I forgot this one and paid the price.
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slow down
 
I think the legitimate commentary here should revolve around the city of Pittsburgh. A supposedly football-obsessed city letting the PD run wild issuing tickets to Steelers starters. Tsk tsk Steel City.
 
Knowing Pittsburgh, he was probably pulled over a few times going the wrong way on a one way street. Every street you turn onto, you are going the wrong way. There must be some z-axis streets or something.
 
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LuCane said:
OriginalCanesCanesCanes said:
The Franchise said:
I've never told you guys this story because of my own modesty and humility. But I got arrested once for ******* Adriana Lima so hard that neighbors thought I was executing mountain lions on my property. Funny thing is the closest neighbor was 3 miles from my palatial Tuscan estate. Cops went so far as to confiscate all 4 of my new Ferraris.

We had to go to court and prove up the defense by having me jackhammer Lima in open court while the neighbor was on the stand. My $3900 per hour lawyer smugly asked, "Is that the sound you heard?". The humiliated witness said, "Can I touch the Legend's cagootz before I answer the question?" then quickly confirmed it was, indeed, the shrill debilitating squealing that he had heard on the fateful night.
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I can verify this as being 100% accurate.
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You're the lawyer or Adriana Lima?
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Did not mean to down vote...pure comedy
 
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