Artie Burns arrested

[The Franchise]

I've never told you guys this story because of my own modesty and humility. But I got arrested once for ******* Adriana Lima so hard that neighbors thought I was executing mountain lions on my property. Funny thing is the closest neighbor was 3 miles from my palatial Tuscan estate. Cops went so far as to confiscate all 4 of my new Ferraris.

We had to go to court and prove up the defense by having me jackhammer Lima in open court while the neighbor was on the stand. My $3900 per hour lawyer smugly asked, "Is that the sound you heard?". The humiliated witness said, "Can I touch the Legend's cagootz before I answer the question?" then quickly confirmed it was, indeed, the shrill debilitating squealing that he had heard on the fateful night.

 

[OriginalCanesCanesCanes]

I've never told you guys this story because of my own modesty and humility. But I got arrested once for ******* Adriana Lima so hard that neighbors thought I was executing mountain lions on my property. Funny thing is the closest neighbor was 3 miles from my palatial Tuscan estate. Cops went so far as to confiscate all 4 of my new Ferraris.

We had to go to court and prove up the defense by having me jackhammer Lima in open court while the neighbor was on the stand. My $3900 per hour lawyer smugly asked, "Is that the sound you heard?". The humiliated witness said, "Can I touch the Legend's cagootz before I answer the question?" then quickly confirmed it was, indeed, the shrill debilitating squealing that he had heard on the fateful night.

I can verify this as being 100% accurate.

 

[L A M P]

Cops could have at least had planted a gun with serial #'s filed off or something.

Making us look weak.

 

[LuCane]

Pretty sure this is the first ever CIS thread on car horsepower. Cheers.

 

[LuCane]

I've never told you guys this story because of my own modesty and humility. But I got arrested once for ******* Adriana Lima so hard that neighbors thought I was executing mountain lions on my property. Funny thing is the closest neighbor was 3 miles from my palatial Tuscan estate. Cops went so far as to confiscate all 4 of my new Ferraris.

We had to go to court and prove up the defense by having me jackhammer Lima in open court while the neighbor was on the stand. My $3900 per hour lawyer smugly asked, "Is that the sound you heard?". The humiliated witness said, "Can I touch the Legend's cagootz before I answer the question?" then quickly confirmed it was, indeed, the shrill debilitating squealing that he had heard on the fateful night.

I can verify this as being 100% accurate.

You're the lawyer or Adriana Lima?

 

[MovingZen]

Love to see guys use Artie's speeding ticket as a way to shoehorn in their own luxury lifestyles.

I remember the time I got pulled over for getting road head from a super model (who shall remain nameless because I'm not one to toot my own horn) in my Bugatti. Cop was so impressed by the massive size, vascularity and maximum engorgement of my peen that he gave himself a ticket. Never seen anything like it.

lol at owning a mustang as a luxury lifestyle. But you shoehorning in your epeen is a much better direction to take the thread. Thanks for making it about something other than speeding tickets because what would a thread be without you and your crank comments.

 

[OriginalCanesCanesCanes]

I've never told you guys this story because of my own modesty and humility. But I got arrested once for ******* Adriana Lima so hard that neighbors thought I was executing mountain lions on my property. Funny thing is the closest neighbor was 3 miles from my palatial Tuscan estate. Cops went so far as to confiscate all 4 of my new Ferraris.

We had to go to court and prove up the defense by having me jackhammer Lima in open court while the neighbor was on the stand. My $3900 per hour lawyer smugly asked, "Is that the sound you heard?". The humiliated witness said, "Can I touch the Legend's cagootz before I answer the question?" then quickly confirmed it was, indeed, the shrill debilitating squealing that he had heard on the fateful night.

I can verify this as being 100% accurate.

You're the lawyer or Adriana Lima?

I'll leave you to figure it out

 

[d--1]

Seriously? Why arrest someone who has no record and isn't suspected of any other offense for something as silly as suspended license and unpaid tickets? No one should be arrested for something as petty as this.

I can see an arrest for driving on a suspended license.

I guess it depends on the situation, and not all driving on suspended situations are the same. Comes down to why it was suspended. Artie just isn't the kind of guy who gets in trouble. Seems most likely that he just let stuff slide and didn't pay his tickets more than anything truly criminal.

Yeah... He's definitely not a bad dude. I'm wondering why his license was suspended in the first place?

Over $1,ooo worth of traffic violations.

Somebody got a new whip when he got paid

 

[UMFarArcher]

Parking tickets?

We definitely ain't back.

C'mon. Parking Tickets is gangster.

 

[Ohio Storm]

We BACK, but the ncaa will be all over us again.

 

[Oicu812]

Love to see guys use Artie's speeding ticket as a way to shoehorn in their own luxury lifestyles.

I remember the time I got pulled over for getting road head from a super model (who shall remain nameless because I'm not one to toot my own horn) in my Bugatti. Cop was so impressed by the massive size, vascularity and maximum engorgement of my peen that he gave himself a ticket. Never seen anything like it.

I drive a tesla model s p100d. I laugh at 500 hp. Ticket clinic cleans up everything. At least 20 tickets in last 5 years. I drive a lot for work, it's unavoidable. Btw I have gotten many tickets with cars less then 300 hp.

[MENTION=10060]canesplaymaker[/MENTION] still waiting for a picture of your ride.

Otherwise you will go on the CIS hall of shame for:

View attachment 46740

Lol. I got less **** when I mentioned Ray Lewis lived 3 houses away from me. He doesn't anymore, he sold it a few years ago. Was the worst house on the block.

I'll believe you if you post a pic of the car with something canes on it. A tshirt from your closet. No license plate, no identifying material. Just your $150,000 Tesla and a Miami tshirt from your closet.

If you don't do that you're just some poorass shmuck lying shītbag poster.

As we speak...someone's driving around with a miami shirt in the car with them....scouring every high end condo parking lot,.. Strip clubs..you name it....looking for a Bugatti, he can take a picture of!!

 

[The Svengali]

Love to see guys use Artie's speeding ticket as a way to shoehorn in their own luxury lifestyles.

I remember the time I got pulled over for getting road head from a super model (who shall remain nameless because I'm not one to toot my own horn) in my Bugatti. Cop was so impressed by the massive size, vascularity and maximum engorgement of my peen that he gave himself a ticket. Never seen anything like it.

I drive a tesla model s p100d. I laugh at 500 hp. Ticket clinic cleans up everything. At least 20 tickets in last 5 years. I drive a lot for work, it's unavoidable. Btw I have gotten many tickets with cars less then 300 hp.

[MENTION=10060]canesplaymaker[/MENTION] still waiting for a picture of your ride.

Otherwise you will go on the CIS hall of shame for:

View attachment 46740

Lol. I got less **** when I mentioned Ray Lewis lived 3 houses away from me. He doesn't anymore, he sold it a few years ago. Was the worst house on the block.

I'll believe you if you post a pic of the car with something canes on it. A tshirt from your closet. No license plate, no identifying material. Just your $150,000 Tesla and a Miami tshirt from your closet.

If you don't do that you're just some poorass shmuck lying shītbag poster.

Yeah, canesplaymaker, you can't go radio silent now. You've got to show and prove. That's a very simple and easy request.

 

[The Svengali]

Love to see guys use Artie's speeding ticket as a way to shoehorn in their own luxury lifestyles.

I remember the time I got pulled over for getting road head from a super model (who shall remain nameless because I'm not one to toot my own horn) in my Bugatti. Cop was so impressed by the massive size, vascularity and maximum engorgement of my peen that he gave himself a ticket. Never seen anything like it.

I drive a tesla model s p100d. I laugh at 500 hp. Ticket clinic cleans up everything. At least 20 tickets in last 5 years. I drive a lot for work, it's unavoidable. Btw I have gotten many tickets with cars less then 300 hp.

[MENTION=10060]canesplaymaker[/MENTION] still waiting for a picture of your ride.

Otherwise you will go on the CIS hall of shame for:

View attachment 46740

Lol. I got less **** when I mentioned Ray Lewis lived 3 houses away from me. He doesn't anymore, he sold it a few years ago. Was the worst house on the block.

I'll believe you if you post a pic of the car with something canes on it. A tshirt from your closet. No license plate, no identifying material. Just your $150,000 Tesla and a Miami tshirt from your closet.

If you don't do that you're just some poorass shmuck lying shītbag poster.

As we speak...someone's driving around with a miami shirt in the car with them....scouring every high end condo parking lot,.. Strip clubs..you name it....looking for a Bugatti, he can take a picture of!!

LMAO

 

[LustNCanes]

Love to see guys use Artie's speeding ticket as a way to shoehorn in their own luxury lifestyles.

I remember the time I got pulled over for getting road head from a super model (who shall remain nameless because I'm not one to toot my own horn) in my Bugatti. Cop was so impressed by the massive size, vascularity and maximum engorgement of my peen that he gave himself a ticket. Never seen anything like it.

LMFAO!!! Another Classic!

 

[OriginalCanesCanesCanes]

Love to see guys use Artie's speeding ticket as a way to shoehorn in their own luxury lifestyles.

I remember the time I got pulled over for getting road head from a super model (who shall remain nameless because I'm not one to toot my own horn) in my Bugatti. Cop was so impressed by the massive size, vascularity and maximum engorgement of my peen that he gave himself a ticket. Never seen anything like it.

I drive a tesla model s p100d. I laugh at 500 hp. Ticket clinic cleans up everything. At least 20 tickets in last 5 years. I drive a lot for work, it's unavoidable. Btw I have gotten many tickets with cars less then 300 hp.

[MENTION=10060]canesplaymaker[/MENTION] still waiting for a picture of your ride.

Otherwise you will go on the CIS hall of shame for:

View attachment 46740

Lol. I got less **** when I mentioned Ray Lewis lived 3 houses away from me. He doesn't anymore, he sold it a few years ago. Was the worst house on the block.

I'll believe you if you post a pic of the car with something canes on it. A tshirt from your closet. No license plate, no identifying material. Just your $150,000 Tesla and a Miami tshirt from your closet.

If you don't do that you're just some poorass shmuck lying shītbag poster.

Yeah, canesplaymaker, you can't go radio silent now. You've got to show and prove. That's a very simple and easy request.

If it was any of us bragging about our rides, the pic would already be up.

If I ever brag on something other than length and girth, and won't back it up with an easy pic, I'd stop posting immediately as a fraud.

 

[Cognizantphotos]

[MENTION=10060]canesplaymaker[/MENTION] still waiting for a picture of your ride.

Otherwise you will go on the CIS hall of shame for:

View attachment 46740

Lol. I got less **** when I mentioned Ray Lewis lived 3 houses away from me. He doesn't anymore, he sold it a few years ago. Was the worst house on the block.

I'll believe you if you post a pic of the car with something canes on it. A tshirt from your closet. No license plate, no identifying material. Just your $150,000 Tesla and a Miami tshirt from your closet.

If you don't do that you're just some poorass shmuck lying shītbag poster.

Yeah, canesplaymaker, you can't go radio silent now. You've got to show and prove. That's a very simple and easy request.

If it was any of us bragging about our rides, the pic would already be up.

If I ever brag on something other than length and girth, and won't back it up with an easy pic, I'd stop posting immediately as a fraud.

Unfortunately dudes on this site get to say outlandish stuff, and not back it up...

 

[canesplaymaker]

[MENTION=10060]canesplaymaker[/MENTION] still waiting for a picture of your ride.

Otherwise you will go on the CIS hall of shame for:

View attachment 46740

Lol. I got less **** when I mentioned Ray Lewis lived 3 houses away from me. He doesn't anymore, he sold it a few years ago. Was the worst house on the block.

I'll believe you if you post a pic of the car with something canes on it. A tshirt from your closet. No license plate, no identifying material. Just your $150,000 Tesla and a Miami tshirt from your closet.

If you don't do that you're just some poorass shmuck lying shītbag poster.

Yeah, canesplaymaker, you can't go radio silent now. You've got to show and prove. That's a very simple and easy request.

If it was any of us bragging about our rides, the pic would already be up.

If I ever brag on something other than length and girth, and won't back it up with an easy pic, I'd stop posting immediately as a fraud.

I can't believe $140,000 car is really something unbelievable. For the record it's my second cheapest car. I will post a nice pic just for you tomorrow morning. There is no way you guys are alumni if your impressed with a car like this. I drove a 40,000 car in the gables as an undergrad and it wasn't nearly the most expensive car in my dorm. 30 years ago. Where the **** do you guys live that this would impress you.

 

[Cognizantphotos]

Lol. I got less **** when I mentioned Ray Lewis lived 3 houses away from me. He doesn't anymore, he sold it a few years ago. Was the worst house on the block.

I'll believe you if you post a pic of the car with something canes on it. A tshirt from your closet. No license plate, no identifying material. Just your $150,000 Tesla and a Miami tshirt from your closet.

If you don't do that you're just some poorass shmuck lying shītbag poster.

Yeah, canesplaymaker, you can't go radio silent now. You've got to show and prove. That's a very simple and easy request.

If it was any of us bragging about our rides, the pic would already be up.

If I ever brag on something other than length and girth, and won't back it up with an easy pic, I'd stop posting immediately as a fraud.

I can't believe $140,000 car is really something unbelievable. For the record it's my second cheapest car. I will post a nice pic just for you tomorrow morning. There is no way you guys are alumni if your impressed with a car like this. I drove a 40,000 car in the gables as an undergrad and it wasn't nearly the most expensive car in my dorm. 30 years ago. Where the **** do you guys live that this would impress you.

I dont think it has to do with being impressed, it has more to do with talking and not having to back it up. Its the internet everyone says they have money, or has this or that etc. I have my miami.edu email to back me up though lol, you can check my status.

 

[RVACane]

Love to see guys use Artie's speeding ticket as a way to shoehorn in their own luxury lifestyles.

I remember the time I got pulled over for getting road head from a super model (who shall remain nameless because I'm not one to toot my own horn) in my Bugatti. Cop was so impressed by the massive size, vascularity and maximum engorgement of my peen that he gave himself a ticket. Never seen anything like it.

No pun intended but I literally got sucked into this story and envisioned myself in the shoes of the Living Legend, Papi Chulo.

 

[OriginalCanesCanesCanes]

Lol. I got less **** when I mentioned Ray Lewis lived 3 houses away from me. He doesn't anymore, he sold it a few years ago. Was the worst house on the block.

I'll believe you if you post a pic of the car with something canes on it. A tshirt from your closet. No license plate, no identifying material. Just your $150,000 Tesla and a Miami tshirt from your closet.

If you don't do that you're just some poorass shmuck lying shītbag poster.

Yeah, canesplaymaker, you can't go radio silent now. You've got to show and prove. That's a very simple and easy request.

If it was any of us bragging about our rides, the pic would already be up.

If I ever brag on something other than length and girth, and won't back it up with an easy pic, I'd stop posting immediately as a fraud.

I can't believe $140,000 car is really something unbelievable. For the record it's my second cheapest car. I will post a nice pic just for you tomorrow morning. There is no way you guys are alumni if your impressed with a car like this. I drove a 40,000 car in the gables as an undergrad and it wasn't nearly the most expensive car in my dorm. 30 years ago. Where the **** do you guys live that this would impress you.

It's definitely not unbelievable, clown.

It's just unbelievable for YOU.

I could easily afford it, but I'm not a douchebag that brags about my wealth or my graduate degree from the U (with this one exception).

And I can back up anything I claim, unlike you.

No you've got a few hours to photoshop that image so get busy, poser.