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BREAKING NEWS: According to sources: Mario Cristobal will be the next Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, and Defensive Coordinator at Miami

I feel an orgy of stream-of-consciousness posts are coming. And I for one, am here for it.

https://sports.yahoo.com/amphtml/miami-shows-newfound-boldness-in-pursuing-oregons-mario-cristobal-but-its-treatment-of-current-coach-manny-diaz-is-cruel-040909763.html

I'm not so sure. Remember, people that do the leaking have their own imsatiable nuerosis as well.

Well, Miami's BoT called up Stephen Ross for advice. Stephen said, "let me. tell you about two guys named Sparano and Harbaugh". Miami BoT replied, "ok, yeah, tell us more, tell us more, we want to go really big dumpster fire..."

Unfortunately contributes to "Miami is a circus..."

That would make Le Batard Daedalus. Appropriate.

IF this is an accurate re-telling👇 JFC.

Yes, all day.

Don't cry for me Templetina.

amatuer hour.

I guess somebody feels good about $20B. 😂 Can appreciate the passion.

It is Simple Jack level.

On what cuck planet does this occur?

Perfect for a warm handoff at LAX Terminal 1.

Agreed. He looks the most professional of all of them. With that said, his departure from his undefeated tenure at Temple wasn't great.

Your palms will get hairy and you will go blind.

One would think Manuela's agent (right or wrong) is taking the angle, "your [UM's] behavior violated x paragraphs of my client's employment as he has attempted to fulfill his duties in good faith..."

Only if I can prove it. Twice. With further documemtation made available for review. 😂

I'm a hard skeptic... 😂😂😂