Duke Beats Bethune-Cookman 38-10
Wow. Where would we be without Duke Johnson? He is our offense, scoring 4 touchdowns on the day. A UM player hasn't done that since Tyrone Moss did it against Clemson in 2005. Tim Reynolds and Manny Navarro put Duke's season statistics to date in perspective on twitter:
My 4 Storylines for UM in this game were:
1. Will Miami throttle this team like they should?
Lulz...no. This was an even less inspiring effort than the game last year. I didn't think that was possible.
2. Will the team have a hangover from last weeks ass kicking?
Not sure what happened. Either the team is still shaken from last week or they suck that much. It's probably both.
3. Lots of freshmen are expected to play, how will they look with increased playing time?
Duke was Duke. McCord had 2 sacks and Deon Bush made some nice open field tackles throughout.
4. How many people show up to the game?
No one was at the game. And I can't blame anyone for not going anymore. I've tried that superfan card before, but I'm retiring that. Duke is the only person on this team worth watching. I hated watching this team play on my fucking computer. I can't imagine how frustrated I'd be if I actually had to sit through that game in person. Some of the local beatwriters were having a bit of fun about the attendance.
The Canes drove into BCU territory on their first two possessions, but got zero points out of it. During the next TV Timeout UM aired some sort of tribute video for Paul Dee on the jumbo-tron...whatever. UM forced Bethune to punt again, but Dorsett coughed it up. The Wildcats start off at UM's 20 yard line and march it right down our throats for an Isadore Jackson TD run. 7-0 Bethune-Cookman.
I was getting all jammed up at home. Then Duke Johnson decided it was time to score, so he returned the ensuing kick off for a 95 yard touchdown. All tied up at 7.
Both teams trade 3 & outs and BCU is backed up inside there own 5. So of course, they send their back-up quarterback in to scramble untouched for 35 yards on his first snap. This gif sums up our defense on this drive:
Disgraceful. That's not Michael Vick folks, that Brodrick Waters. He transferred out of Louisiana Tech because he couldn't get on the field there. I've watched this gif a million times already, and it pisses me off even more each time. Their drive stalled when their running back dropped a screen pass on 3rd and long. If he caught it, it was probably a TD because it was set up perfectly.
Miami starts driving after the punt with the score still tied at 7. It's at this point that Jedd Fisch decides it's time to get cute, so he calls a flea-flicker which fails in spectacular fashion. Before the next snap they flash Morris' stats up on the screen up to that point. He was 6/15 for 25 yards. This was probably the most disappointing part of the game for me. Morris looked like he hadn't played quarterback before. Not the performance you wanted out of him after the debacle last week. He was flirting with disaster all day.
UM then starts running the ball and Duke scores his 2nd TD on toss sweep to the left. 14-7 UM.
UM forced a quick 3 & out, highlighted by a great open field tackle by Deon Bush on 3rd down. UM was able to get a field goal on the ensuing drive to make it 17-7 at the half.
The 2nd half started out even more boring than the 1st, which is saying something. Then Duke decided it was time to make the dozens of fans in attendance stand up and chant his name. So he caught a screen pass and criss-crossed the field for his 3rd TD. 24-7 UM.
Chopping skills courtesy of 7thFloorBlog
On Bethune's next possession, Chickillo got an interception on a very Lulzworthy play where the ball slipped out of the QB's hand. Morris felt sorry for him, so he decided to give it right back them and promptly threw an interception of his own.
Duke scored another touchdown. He made a juke on the defender that made the shitty announcing crew shriek like women. 31-10 Miami.
Bethune-Cookman's 3rd string QB managed to lead a drive that resulted in a field goal. 31-10 Miami.
By this point Duke was pulled from the game, he had 246 all purpose yards for the day. Clements got in on the scoring action and ran in untouched to make the final score 38-10 Miami.
UM suffered more injuries in the game. Long snapper Sean McNally hurt his leg on the punt for our first drive. If you don't think that's a big deal, go talk to a Raiders fan and see what they tell you. The backup seemed ok the rest of the game. Also Perryman hurt his ankle and was seen with crutches on the sideline with his foot in a boot. Not good.
We just gave up 233 yards rushing to 1-AA Bethune-Cookman. Georgia Tech is next week. They just put up 461 yards rushing in a 56-20 victory over Virginia. Hold on to your butts.