What some of you guys don't understand is that there still haven't been any in-home visits by Allan Goldman.
When Al Golden steps into Matt Thomas' house wearing a $5,000 suit and starts sweet-talking momma Thomas, it's a wrap. Done. Case closed. C'est fini.
Just picture this scenario - January 28, Jimbob Fister flies down to Miami with his dumbo ears and lands right outside of Thomas' home for his visit. He's wearing some navy slacks he got at JCPenney for 60% off and a tweed jacket from 1980 that doesn't even remotely match his pants. He looks like a ****** idiot. Who the **** wears a tweed jacket and navy pants? And he's wearing a hat; which is shame, because he's covering up the beautiful haircut he just gave himself on Monday. Who needs to pay a barber when you have scissors at home? Then he starts talking. The dog perks his ears up immediately; he can't understand how such a high-pitched tone can come from a human larynx. He starts barking and then they have to put him in the other room. Jimbob then squeaks along for 2 hours, giving the same generic spiel he gave to Alex Collins two nights ago. Matt or his mom can't get a word in edgewise. Satisfied with his peope skills, Jimbob calls it a night at 9:30 after forgetting to compliment Mama Thomas on how good the turkey was, clicks his high heels (I forgot to mention what shoes he'd he wearing - they'll probably be 3 inch heels and red) and then goes off back to Tallahassee thinking it's a wrap. Matt and his mother aren't so sure about this guy. They spend the rest of the night wondering if he's *** or not, eventually deciding "probably."
It's January 30 now. Al Golden has a chauffeur drop him off in a Bentley. He wouldn't be seen dead driving himself to a recruits house like some kind of lowly public school coach. No ****** way. And anyway, dead guys can't drive. Maybe he brings Mario or maybe he's just going solo, depends on the night. He knocks on the door looking like a million bucks. He's wearing an impossibly black suit. Probably cost more than the house he's walking into, but there's no way to know for certain. The leather on his shoes and watch band is the finest in the world, made from the fetus' of Italian cows - it's an old trade secret that the most supple leather comes from the animal before it's born. Jimbob doesn't know that. ****, he's got cloth seats in his Subaru.
Once Al starts talking, it's over. Mama Thomas is thinking of ways to propose to Golden after 5 minutes. Matt's probably doing the same. He's charming them, making them laugh, and using the term "top 40 institution" every fifth sentence. He talks about making Matt a man, giving him an education, preparing him for the real world. Teaching him how to work, be strong, deal with adversity and overcome it. He's so god **** charming, he could take a **** in the middle of the living room while he's talking and nobody would notice or care. He stays for a good 5 or 6 hours, but it seems like no time at all. Matt loves this guy, Mama Thomas loves this guy, and Golden loves them, because that's just the kind of dude he is. It's getting late now, so he better head home. He bids everyone farewell. He shakes Matt's hand and Matt notices that right away the difference between Golden's firm handshake and Jimbob's "my hand is doing it's best impressions of my *****" dead-fish, limpdick handshake.
Golden puts his sunglasses on and walks out of the house with a huge smile on his face. He knows it's only a matter of time before Matt picks up the phone and says, "Coach, I'm ready to be a 'Cane."
When Al Golden steps into Matt Thomas' house wearing a $5,000 suit and starts sweet-talking momma Thomas, it's a wrap. Done. Case closed. C'est fini.
Just picture this scenario - January 28, Jimbob Fister flies down to Miami with his dumbo ears and lands right outside of Thomas' home for his visit. He's wearing some navy slacks he got at JCPenney for 60% off and a tweed jacket from 1980 that doesn't even remotely match his pants. He looks like a ****** idiot. Who the **** wears a tweed jacket and navy pants? And he's wearing a hat; which is shame, because he's covering up the beautiful haircut he just gave himself on Monday. Who needs to pay a barber when you have scissors at home? Then he starts talking. The dog perks his ears up immediately; he can't understand how such a high-pitched tone can come from a human larynx. He starts barking and then they have to put him in the other room. Jimbob then squeaks along for 2 hours, giving the same generic spiel he gave to Alex Collins two nights ago. Matt or his mom can't get a word in edgewise. Satisfied with his peope skills, Jimbob calls it a night at 9:30 after forgetting to compliment Mama Thomas on how good the turkey was, clicks his high heels (I forgot to mention what shoes he'd he wearing - they'll probably be 3 inch heels and red) and then goes off back to Tallahassee thinking it's a wrap. Matt and his mother aren't so sure about this guy. They spend the rest of the night wondering if he's *** or not, eventually deciding "probably."
It's January 30 now. Al Golden has a chauffeur drop him off in a Bentley. He wouldn't be seen dead driving himself to a recruits house like some kind of lowly public school coach. No ****** way. And anyway, dead guys can't drive. Maybe he brings Mario or maybe he's just going solo, depends on the night. He knocks on the door looking like a million bucks. He's wearing an impossibly black suit. Probably cost more than the house he's walking into, but there's no way to know for certain. The leather on his shoes and watch band is the finest in the world, made from the fetus' of Italian cows - it's an old trade secret that the most supple leather comes from the animal before it's born. Jimbob doesn't know that. ****, he's got cloth seats in his Subaru.
Once Al starts talking, it's over. Mama Thomas is thinking of ways to propose to Golden after 5 minutes. Matt's probably doing the same. He's charming them, making them laugh, and using the term "top 40 institution" every fifth sentence. He talks about making Matt a man, giving him an education, preparing him for the real world. Teaching him how to work, be strong, deal with adversity and overcome it. He's so god **** charming, he could take a **** in the middle of the living room while he's talking and nobody would notice or care. He stays for a good 5 or 6 hours, but it seems like no time at all. Matt loves this guy, Mama Thomas loves this guy, and Golden loves them, because that's just the kind of dude he is. It's getting late now, so he better head home. He bids everyone farewell. He shakes Matt's hand and Matt notices that right away the difference between Golden's firm handshake and Jimbob's "my hand is doing it's best impressions of my *****" dead-fish, limpdick handshake.
Golden puts his sunglasses on and walks out of the house with a huge smile on his face. He knows it's only a matter of time before Matt picks up the phone and says, "Coach, I'm ready to be a 'Cane."
