I'd like to go on record right as saying that I'm willing to take the reins as QB. I can handoff with the best of them. Just watch me hold the ball out in space for someone to take it from me. I can overthrow receivers, fumble, and throw INTs. And if you act now, I'll complete less than 50% of my passes to one of our receivers.
But wait there's more! I'll even do post game press conferences using phrases like "It was a good effort", "They really came to play", and "I'm proud of what our guys did".
I'm just asking for one shot to be the next starting QB for the Miami Hurricanes. As an added bonus, I already have a chiropractor appointment next Monday.