- Joined
- Nov 3, 2011
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Alright my brothers and sisters (and those of you stuck in the middle we don’t discriminate here) strap on those lifting belts because it’s that time of week again
Full transparency, the Miami Hurricanes cost me a lot of money last week. No not on bets. We had rented an AirBnB down at the beach last weekend and when Corey Flagg chased that chump QB from Clemson down I straight up put my head through the flat screen TV in someone’s living room
And I’m not talking about the head on my shoulders
In what was possibly the most emotionally driven win we’ve had in years, the Miami Hurricanes did something we rarely do: make the big play to win the game
It felt ******* good. Odds stacked against us. Short handed. Much like many of you trying to meet a chick in the club, somehow Emory Williams slipped that roofie and got the job done. He waited until 2 AM to make his move, leaned on an incredible defensive performance before leading the offense to the winning score
Up next is the Virginia Cavaliers. A team that INEXPLICABLY has given us fits over the years
They went into Chapel Hill last week and did something we couldn’t and beat UNC. Good. Only team that can beat us this week is the Miami Hurricanes and them beating UNC was exactly what we needed after an inevitable physical and emotional let down
This isn’t the 2022 Hurricanes. This team is different. And here’s some reasons why we are going to provide those England Sympathizing pussies a beating befitting a steroid fueled rendition of Hulk Hogans “I Am a Real American”
Tyler Van Dyke: he might play he might not, whatever. Get ****ed Miami Columbus Intelligence Agency. I’ve read your comments about his toughness, his emotions but I see y’all. The only squatting most of the people saying this do is when you sit on the toilet to pee. Grown men with negative testosterone counts that can’t tell if it’s their **** in their shorts or a mini hot dog you let roll over the top of your beer bellies talking about “HE NEED TUFNISS”. We can put a hitch on the bandwagon that can tow around the same Rascals you use to get around Walmart
Reuben Bane: not a typo. This Reggie White mfer has no business being this dominant this fast. He has no business manhandling 330 pounders the way Paranos does. He’s got opposing offensive tackles being more submissive than a Japanese business man on vacation in Amsterdam. Dropping “nuts hang” comments in press conferences like a true old school Cane. Appreciate every rep he plays before he’s gone.
James Williams: Virginia has a little kid at WR that’s lighting up college football. He makes Titu Atwell look like Calvin Johnson physically. Tbh I think most defenders are hesitant to knock the daylights out of a child….but not JW. A targeting penalty is possible because frankly the kids head barely comes up to JWs nuts….but the kid is gonna get a facefull this weekend that would make NYSOM blush
Matt Lee: no one personifies the 2023 Miami team more than Lee. Kinda ugly, maybe a little stinky, but beautiful to watch at times. This is a different team than the past and while we don’t have all the right measurables (pause) this team has that dawg in it. The OL will once again show why they give us a chance in every single game this year.
Guidry: This UVA team is annoying as it typically is. Their QBs are trash and yet somehow they make plays. Discipline is key on defense and Guidry will have these dudes ready. No 200 yard receiving performances by a UVA this week. Guidry is looking at this offense like Arnold at the end of Predator when it takes its helmet off
Verdict:
In the past we would need to grind out a ******, ugly victory that we possibly lose for letting them hang around too long. Not this year. We are too physical up front.
Good guys 34
Bad guys 13
Full transparency, the Miami Hurricanes cost me a lot of money last week. No not on bets. We had rented an AirBnB down at the beach last weekend and when Corey Flagg chased that chump QB from Clemson down I straight up put my head through the flat screen TV in someone’s living room
And I’m not talking about the head on my shoulders
In what was possibly the most emotionally driven win we’ve had in years, the Miami Hurricanes did something we rarely do: make the big play to win the game
It felt ******* good. Odds stacked against us. Short handed. Much like many of you trying to meet a chick in the club, somehow Emory Williams slipped that roofie and got the job done. He waited until 2 AM to make his move, leaned on an incredible defensive performance before leading the offense to the winning score
Up next is the Virginia Cavaliers. A team that INEXPLICABLY has given us fits over the years
They went into Chapel Hill last week and did something we couldn’t and beat UNC. Good. Only team that can beat us this week is the Miami Hurricanes and them beating UNC was exactly what we needed after an inevitable physical and emotional let down
This isn’t the 2022 Hurricanes. This team is different. And here’s some reasons why we are going to provide those England Sympathizing pussies a beating befitting a steroid fueled rendition of Hulk Hogans “I Am a Real American”
Tyler Van Dyke: he might play he might not, whatever. Get ****ed Miami Columbus Intelligence Agency. I’ve read your comments about his toughness, his emotions but I see y’all. The only squatting most of the people saying this do is when you sit on the toilet to pee. Grown men with negative testosterone counts that can’t tell if it’s their **** in their shorts or a mini hot dog you let roll over the top of your beer bellies talking about “HE NEED TUFNISS”. We can put a hitch on the bandwagon that can tow around the same Rascals you use to get around Walmart
Reuben Bane: not a typo. This Reggie White mfer has no business being this dominant this fast. He has no business manhandling 330 pounders the way Paranos does. He’s got opposing offensive tackles being more submissive than a Japanese business man on vacation in Amsterdam. Dropping “nuts hang” comments in press conferences like a true old school Cane. Appreciate every rep he plays before he’s gone.
James Williams: Virginia has a little kid at WR that’s lighting up college football. He makes Titu Atwell look like Calvin Johnson physically. Tbh I think most defenders are hesitant to knock the daylights out of a child….but not JW. A targeting penalty is possible because frankly the kids head barely comes up to JWs nuts….but the kid is gonna get a facefull this weekend that would make NYSOM blush
Matt Lee: no one personifies the 2023 Miami team more than Lee. Kinda ugly, maybe a little stinky, but beautiful to watch at times. This is a different team than the past and while we don’t have all the right measurables (pause) this team has that dawg in it. The OL will once again show why they give us a chance in every single game this year.
Guidry: This UVA team is annoying as it typically is. Their QBs are trash and yet somehow they make plays. Discipline is key on defense and Guidry will have these dudes ready. No 200 yard receiving performances by a UVA this week. Guidry is looking at this offense like Arnold at the end of Predator when it takes its helmet off
Verdict:
In the past we would need to grind out a ******, ugly victory that we possibly lose for letting them hang around too long. Not this year. We are too physical up front.
Good guys 34
Bad guys 13
