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Thoughts From the Bench Press: Virginia Tech

JamesQuall said:
We have been doing all of the above.

Thankfully we have the offense that scores TDs easily. How many of the past years was it the 1st to score 24 wins? We have had too many years where we get into field goal fights with the final score being 20-17.
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Yep, as analytics continue to evolve I think there are going to be more people going for first down instead of attempting field goals. Already happening
 
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JHallCanes said:
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Happy Thursday my fellow Canes Bros and Broettes!

The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The smell of coffee and cocaine fills the air. Drink it in.

Much like the bus that will bring VT to the stadium on Saturday, this week is a SHORT one!

So grab that shaker cup, make awkward eye contact with the glute raise chick, and hit a bump that would make people that were against Cam Ward cringe, because it’s fucccccciiiinnnn BENCH DAY BABY!

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Fresh off the success of “Adopt a Low T Poster” week, the board has slowly been opening up to reality. Each week that goes by we read less and less about being prepared and overlooking opponents as people begin to accept what’s happening here

The only “trap game” talk these days is when we do barbell shrugs in the mirror and say **** to ourselves that would make Buffalo Bill blush

Our fans are awakening from their slumber and we are getting arrogant again. We can sense the rest of college football looking over their shoulder for the Boogeyman. The sleeping giant. The U.

We are gonna pack The Rock with more passion and energy than Lawrence Taylor and Marion Barry at 3am in the penthouse suite of Caesars Palace

We are the class of the ACC. Finally.

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Last week we continued our Ted Bundy-esque reign of terror in the state of Florida when we walked into USF territory and castrated the Bulls in front of their families. We heard all week about how tough they played Alabama and they tried to lure us into a fight

50-15

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Nuff said

This week we take a pause break to focus our attention to the real prize: The ACC

20 years since Miami joined this conference and not one **** time have we been crowned outright champion. That changes starting this week

First stop: The Hokies

Seriously. Has there ever been a more fitting term for a fan of a team than this? Hokie. The word just screams fuccin nerd. Their coach went to the University of Buffalo and got a degree in History.

Seriously, History?

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There’s not really much to say about them. They’ve got a mid QB that will probably run for a few annoying first downs. They’ve got a legit DE that used to be a Gator which they probably could have used Week 1

But let’s be honest this game is all about us and our offense. Seriously the last time Virginia Tech faced firepower like this was….well you can Google it I don’t want to push my luck with the mods too far

The VT defensive coordinator is going to wake up on Friday morning like this:

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Here’s why we open up ACC play with a message to the conference:

Cam: The talent. The audacity. The work ethic. He makes everything look so easy. Cam Ward is to playing QB what Nina Hartley is to fuccin. Both seem to have taken as many reps in their respective sports as the other and they make the magnificent appear effortless. Enjoy his time here while we can

Sam Brown: Eminem currently working on the follow up track: Forgot About Sam. After a somewhat uneven start to his career here, Brown showed off exactly why people were so excited to get him. I think he’s settling in and with the focus elsewhere, Sam shows up big

Baron: The guy is a cyborg. He stunts like Baby and Lil Wayne. He bull rushes like a New York Jet when Rex Ryan was the coach. His stats absolutely do not tell the story of how dominant he has been this year. He’s the best DE in this game and he’s going to make sure he reminds everyone of it

OJ: Nicknamed “OJ” because he steals souls and gets away with it. Clamps. Every week this mfer Kaiser Sozes us because we hear his name pregame and then “poof…he’s gone”. This week some poor soul challenges him and he gets an INT.


Verdict: It’s a tough scrappy team up there in Virginia. That’s code for trash. They’ve got some guys that can play on both sides but yet again, this game is about us. The only team that can beat Miami right now is Miami, and it just ain’t gonna happen

Dear ACC

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Good guys 48
Bad guys 13


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History shot has me triggered AF. 🤣🤣🤣
 
Good guys 37 dookies 20. This isn’t the game we are really tested but might be the one where stupid stuff just happens and we pull away late.
 
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L A M P said:
That VT comment..
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Look forward to this brilliant work every week with OP.

Now after some big win this year maybe it will be the Louisville game or the ACC championship.

Someone's got to do one of those old school videos shorts that we did with this guy and his funny laugh years ago after a big game win. That ish was funny as ****.

I remember the Gator one from 2013.
 
1983cane said:
Someone's got to do one of those old school videos shorts that we did with this guy and his funny laugh years ago after a big game win. That ish was funny as ****. I remember the Gator one from 2013.
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The Hitler ones were always good too where his war council had to explain things had gone to 💩.
 
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Mario personally escorting Brent Pry out of Hard Rock.

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I watched the Rutgers game and Va Tech was absolutely dominated for 3.5 quarters. Rutgers should have had 40+. That final score is no indication of how that game went. If Miami was on that field it would have been a similar score to USF.

If everything goes as you would expect I think we get a 45+ to 10ish game.
 
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