Thoughts From the Bench Press: Ohio State

JHallCanes

2028 is our year
Premium
Joined
Nov 3, 2011
Messages
53,710
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That’s right my bros and broettes

Ain’t no **** pop tarts in the toaster

Ain’t no Meineke car parts or pinstripe unis

It’s strippers and cocaine and steroids and the motherfuggin PLAYOFF BENCCCCHHH DAAAYYYYY

So grab that buttcheek and your syringe and stab that ************ like Michael Meyers when he sees someone from his family

IMG_4187.gif


IMG_4188.gif


Last week our Miami Hurricanes pulled off a goal line stand that will go down in history

For two weeks we listened to how good Texas A&M was on offense. Their 27 month pregnant coach and their offensive line with their smug **** faces and smirks got owned in their own barn

The D was put in more awkward positions more often than a kid losing his virginity on prom night

With Overtime on the road staring us in the face, Heatherman and company dialed up a play for the ages

1767121720859.gif


A few seconds later with Mesidor and Blount collapsing the line and Chase Smith sinking into coverage, Marcel Reed panicked and threw a desperate pass…with Bryce Taylor Reed waiting in the wings

1767121800428.gif


So what’s next?

OHIO STATE

The greatest defense in 10-20 years

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Last week we heard all about that kid…uhh…

The All American from A&M…**** can’t remember his name because they never said it

Bain to “what’s his name”:

IMG_4177.gif


(Mo Toure celebration)

IMG_4179.gif


I’m not going to get into the history between Ohio State and Miami

It just doesn’t ******* matter anymore

It became a rallying cry for a program that was down bad wishing they were still relevant

That’s done now

Ohio State has a great team and great players but we are Miami

Celebrities. Billionaires. Rappers. Swag. Culture.

What does Ohio State have for groupies?

Look at this fat thumb headed ****

IMG_4181.webp

IMG_4183.gif


Shoved his head so far up Day’s *** it ended up like an accordion and the ************ got no neck now

Meanwhile at Miami we got this guy

1767122308274.gif


Ohio State is the huge favorite in this one but THIS is why we shock the world and let em know A&M was no fluke

Bain: Social media has distorted too many brains. The ability to say whatever you want whenever you want. This kid is a true throwback though. All he does is keep his head down and let his play do the talking. Right now Aventus Aretino is somewhere in Skyrim summoning the Dark Mother to take care of Julian Sayin. Bain is the one that’s on the way to take care of it

Keionte Scott: Caleb Downs is a great player. Not sure where his mythos started but the best player in either secondary in this game is Keionte. He’s a big play waiting to happen on every single down. He’s the human equivalent of a “jump scare”. Just when you think you’re safe, out pops the Boogeyman. Expect another huge game changing play in this one

Trader: Afroman wanted to add him to his newest song “I was gonna score a TD but then I got high”. Well we need TDs in this one. It’s gonna be tough sledding with OSU focused on Toney and the run game, and the entire world focused on Jeremiah Smith and Miami much like The Dark Knight I expect the Joker to upstage the main character Batman in this one. Watch him

Elijah Lofton: Look someone has to make a big play. Anyone. Much like a fluffer at a gangbang they’re all gonna be doing the dirty work that makes the show go on. OSUs front 7 (8 with Downs) is incredibly athletic. We are going to need to get creative and I like what I’ve seen from Lofton over the last few games. Sneak one in

Carter Davis: one thing about that “game that will not be mentioned” is the clutch kick Todd Sievers made. If we won that would go down in history as one of those moments. Davis flat out sucked last week (the wind mostly) but I expect him to bounce back and make a critical kick or two

VERDICT:

1767124170030.gif


Games are not played on paper for a reason

Guts and nuts

Momentum

Playing for the jersey next to you

THAT is what Miami football is about right now

IMG_4196.gif


I’ve read all the analysis. I’ve seen the stats and PFF reports and film reviews

**** em

1767124779638.gif


We are winning this game because we are winning the whole ******* thing

We are winning it all because it is the world being put back into balance after 20+ years of SEC and BIG bull****

1767125566616.gif


We are winning the whole ******* thing because this team does not quit and does not lay down for anyone

We are winning the whole ******* thing because we want it more than anyone else

1767124915049.gif


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Good guys 17
Bad guys 13

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Advertisement
View attachment 348718
View attachment 348723

That’s right my bros and broettes

Ain’t no **** pop tarts in the toaster

Ain’t no Meineke car parts or pinstripe unis

It’s strippers and cocaine and steroids and the motherfuggin PLAYOFF BENCCCCHHH DAAAYYYYY

So grab that buttcheek and your syringe and stab that ************ like Michael Meyers when he sees someone from his family

View attachment 348789

View attachment 348790

Last week our Miami Hurricanes pulled off a goal line stand that will go down in history

For two weeks we listened to how good Texas A&M was on offense. Their 27 month pregnant coach and their offensive line with their smug **** faces and smirks got owned in their own barn

The D was put in more awkward positions more often than a kid losing his virginity on prom night

With Overtime on the road staring us in the face, Heatherman and company dialed up a play for the ages

View attachment 348800

A few seconds later with Mesidor and Blount collapsing the line and Chase Smith sinking into coverage, Marcel Reed panicked and threw a desperate pass…with Bryce Taylor Reed waiting in the wings

View attachment 348802

So what’s next?

OHIO STATE

The greatest defense in 10-20 years

View attachment 348803

Last week we heard all about that kid…uhh…

The All American from A&M…**** can’t remember his name because they never said it

Bain to “what’s his name”:

View attachment 348753

(Mo Toure celebration)

View attachment 348756

I’m not going to get into the history between Ohio State and Miami

It just doesn’t ******* matter anymore

It became a rallying cry for a program that was down bad wishing they were still relevant

That’s done now

Ohio State has a great team and great players but we are Miami

Celebrities. Billionaires. Rappers. Swag. Culture.

What does Ohio State have for groupies?

Look at this fat thumb headed ****

View attachment 348759
View attachment 348760

Shoved his head so far up Day’s *** it ended up like an accordion and the ************ got no neck now

Meanwhile at Miami we got this guy

View attachment 348804

Ohio State is the huge favorite in this one but THIS is why we shock the world and let em know A&M was no fluke

Bain: Social media has distorted too many brains. The ability to say whatever you want whenever you want. This kid is a true throwback though. All he does is keep his head down and let his play do the talking. Right now Aventus Aretino is somewhere in Skyrim summoning the Dark Mother to take care of Julian Sayin. Bain is the one that’s on the way to take care of it

Keionte Scott: Caleb Downs is a great player. Not sure where his mythos started but the best player in either secondary in this game is Keionte. He’s a big play waiting to happen on every single down. He’s the human equivalent of a “jump scare”. Just when you think you’re safe, out pops the Boogeyman. Expect another huge game changing play in this one

Trader: Afroman wanted to add him to his newest song “I was gonna score a TD but then I got high”. Well we need TDs in this one. It’s gonna be tough sledding with OSU focused on Toney and the run game, and the entire world focused on Jeremiah Smith and Miami much like The Dark Knight I expect the Joker to upstage the main character Batman in this one. Watch him

Elijah Lofton: Look someone has to make a big play. Anyone. Much like a fluffer at a gangbang they’re all gonna be doing the dirty work that makes the show go on. OSUs front 7 (8 with Downs) is incredibly athletic. We are going to need to get creative and I like what I’ve seen from Lofton over the last few games. Sneak one in

Carter Davis: one thing about that “game that will not be mentioned” is the clutch kick Todd Sievers made. If we won that would go down in history as one of those moments. Davis flat out sucked last week (the wind mostly) but I expect him to bounce back and make a critical kick or two

VERDICT:

View attachment 348808


Games are not played on paper for a reason

Guts and nuts

Momentum

Playing for the jersey next to you

THAT is what Miami football is about right now

View attachment 348811

I’ve read all the analysis. I’ve seen the stats and PFF reports and film reviews

**** em

View attachment 348813

We are winning this game because we are winning the whole ******* thing

We are winning it all because it is the world being put back into balance after 20+ years of SEC and BIG bull****

View attachment 348827

We are winning the whole ******* thing because this team does not quit and does not lay down for anyone

We are winning the whole ******* thing because we want it more than anyone else

View attachment 348815

View attachment 348751

Good guys 17
Bad guys 13

View attachment 348752


BRO?! No vintage **** star? What am I supposed to google today that will make the IT director come to my office?
 
Advertisement
Advertisement
View attachment 348718
View attachment 348723

That’s right my bros and broettes

Ain’t no **** pop tarts in the toaster

Ain’t no Meineke car parts or pinstripe unis

It’s strippers and cocaine and steroids and the motherfuggin PLAYOFF BENCCCCHHH DAAAYYYYY

So grab that buttcheek and your syringe and stab that ************ like Michael Meyers when he sees someone from his family

View attachment 348789

View attachment 348790

Last week our Miami Hurricanes pulled off a goal line stand that will go down in history

For two weeks we listened to how good Texas A&M was on offense. Their 27 month pregnant coach and their offensive line with their smug **** faces and smirks got owned in their own barn

The D was put in more awkward positions more often than a kid losing his virginity on prom night

With Overtime on the road staring us in the face, Heatherman and company dialed up a play for the ages

View attachment 348800

A few seconds later with Mesidor and Blount collapsing the line and Chase Smith sinking into coverage, Marcel Reed panicked and threw a desperate pass…with Bryce Taylor Reed waiting in the wings

View attachment 348802

So what’s next?

OHIO STATE

The greatest defense in 10-20 years

View attachment 348803

Last week we heard all about that kid…uhh…

The All American from A&M…**** can’t remember his name because they never said it

Bain to “what’s his name”:

View attachment 348753

(Mo Toure celebration)

View attachment 348756

I’m not going to get into the history between Ohio State and Miami

It just doesn’t ******* matter anymore

It became a rallying cry for a program that was down bad wishing they were still relevant

That’s done now

Ohio State has a great team and great players but we are Miami

Celebrities. Billionaires. Rappers. Swag. Culture.

What does Ohio State have for groupies?

Look at this fat thumb headed ****

View attachment 348759
View attachment 348760

Shoved his head so far up Day’s *** it ended up like an accordion and the ************ got no neck now

Meanwhile at Miami we got this guy

View attachment 348804

Ohio State is the huge favorite in this one but THIS is why we shock the world and let em know A&M was no fluke

Bain: Social media has distorted too many brains. The ability to say whatever you want whenever you want. This kid is a true throwback though. All he does is keep his head down and let his play do the talking. Right now Aventus Aretino is somewhere in Skyrim summoning the Dark Mother to take care of Julian Sayin. Bain is the one that’s on the way to take care of it

Keionte Scott: Caleb Downs is a great player. Not sure where his mythos started but the best player in either secondary in this game is Keionte. He’s a big play waiting to happen on every single down. He’s the human equivalent of a “jump scare”. Just when you think you’re safe, out pops the Boogeyman. Expect another huge game changing play in this one

Trader: Afroman wanted to add him to his newest song “I was gonna score a TD but then I got high”. Well we need TDs in this one. It’s gonna be tough sledding with OSU focused on Toney and the run game, and the entire world focused on Jeremiah Smith and Miami much like The Dark Knight I expect the Joker to upstage the main character Batman in this one. Watch him

Elijah Lofton: Look someone has to make a big play. Anyone. Much like a fluffer at a gangbang they’re all gonna be doing the dirty work that makes the show go on. OSUs front 7 (8 with Downs) is incredibly athletic. We are going to need to get creative and I like what I’ve seen from Lofton over the last few games. Sneak one in

Carter Davis: one thing about that “game that will not be mentioned” is the clutch kick Todd Sievers made. If we won that would go down in history as one of those moments. Davis flat out sucked last week (the wind mostly) but I expect him to bounce back and make a critical kick or two

VERDICT:

View attachment 348808


Games are not played on paper for a reason

Guts and nuts

Momentum

Playing for the jersey next to you

THAT is what Miami football is about right now

View attachment 348811

I’ve read all the analysis. I’ve seen the stats and PFF reports and film reviews

**** em

View attachment 348813

We are winning this game because we are winning the whole ******* thing

We are winning it all because it is the world being put back into balance after 20+ years of SEC and BIG bull****

View attachment 348827

We are winning the whole ******* thing because this team does not quit and does not lay down for anyone

We are winning the whole ******* thing because we want it more than anyone else

View attachment 348815

View attachment 348751

Good guys 17
Bad guys 13

View attachment 348752


It is time.
 
View attachment 348718
View attachment 348723

That’s right my bros and broettes

Ain’t no **** pop tarts in the toaster

Ain’t no Meineke car parts or pinstripe unis

It’s strippers and cocaine and steroids and the motherfuggin PLAYOFF BENCCCCHHH DAAAYYYYY

So grab that buttcheek and your syringe and stab that ************ like Michael Meyers when he sees someone from his family

View attachment 348789

View attachment 348790

Last week our Miami Hurricanes pulled off a goal line stand that will go down in history

For two weeks we listened to how good Texas A&M was on offense. Their 27 month pregnant coach and their offensive line with their smug **** faces and smirks got owned in their own barn

The D was put in more awkward positions more often than a kid losing his virginity on prom night

With Overtime on the road staring us in the face, Heatherman and company dialed up a play for the ages

View attachment 348800

A few seconds later with Mesidor and Blount collapsing the line and Chase Smith sinking into coverage, Marcel Reed panicked and threw a desperate pass…with Bryce Taylor Reed waiting in the wings

View attachment 348802

So what’s next?

OHIO STATE

The greatest defense in 10-20 years

View attachment 348803

Last week we heard all about that kid…uhh…

The All American from A&M…**** can’t remember his name because they never said it

Bain to “what’s his name”:

View attachment 348753

(Mo Toure celebration)

View attachment 348756

I’m not going to get into the history between Ohio State and Miami

It just doesn’t ******* matter anymore

It became a rallying cry for a program that was down bad wishing they were still relevant

That’s done now

Ohio State has a great team and great players but we are Miami

Celebrities. Billionaires. Rappers. Swag. Culture.

What does Ohio State have for groupies?

Look at this fat thumb headed ****

View attachment 348759
View attachment 348760

Shoved his head so far up Day’s *** it ended up like an accordion and the ************ got no neck now

Meanwhile at Miami we got this guy

View attachment 348804

Ohio State is the huge favorite in this one but THIS is why we shock the world and let em know A&M was no fluke

Bain: Social media has distorted too many brains. The ability to say whatever you want whenever you want. This kid is a true throwback though. All he does is keep his head down and let his play do the talking. Right now Aventus Aretino is somewhere in Skyrim summoning the Dark Mother to take care of Julian Sayin. Bain is the one that’s on the way to take care of it

Keionte Scott: Caleb Downs is a great player. Not sure where his mythos started but the best player in either secondary in this game is Keionte. He’s a big play waiting to happen on every single down. He’s the human equivalent of a “jump scare”. Just when you think you’re safe, out pops the Boogeyman. Expect another huge game changing play in this one

Trader: Afroman wanted to add him to his newest song “I was gonna score a TD but then I got high”. Well we need TDs in this one. It’s gonna be tough sledding with OSU focused on Toney and the run game, and the entire world focused on Jeremiah Smith and Miami much like The Dark Knight I expect the Joker to upstage the main character Batman in this one. Watch him

Elijah Lofton: Look someone has to make a big play. Anyone. Much like a fluffer at a gangbang they’re all gonna be doing the dirty work that makes the show go on. OSUs front 7 (8 with Downs) is incredibly athletic. We are going to need to get creative and I like what I’ve seen from Lofton over the last few games. Sneak one in

Carter Davis: one thing about that “game that will not be mentioned” is the clutch kick Todd Sievers made. If we won that would go down in history as one of those moments. Davis flat out sucked last week (the wind mostly) but I expect him to bounce back and make a critical kick or two

VERDICT:

View attachment 348808


Games are not played on paper for a reason

Guts and nuts

Momentum

Playing for the jersey next to you

THAT is what Miami football is about right now

View attachment 348811

I’ve read all the analysis. I’ve seen the stats and PFF reports and film reviews

**** em

View attachment 348813

We are winning this game because we are winning the whole ******* thing

We are winning it all because it is the world being put back into balance after 20+ years of SEC and BIG bull****

View attachment 348827

We are winning the whole ******* thing because this team does not quit and does not lay down for anyone

We are winning the whole ******* thing because we want it more than anyone else

View attachment 348815

View attachment 348751

Good guys 17
Bad guys 13

View attachment 348752


"Their 27 month pregnant coach"

Lol I spat out my coffee when I read this! Elko does have that bowling ball belly hahaha
 
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