Thoughts From the Bench Press: Ball State

JHallCanes

2028 is our year
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Happy Friday my Canes brothers and brotherettes!

Our beloved Canes are smack dab in the middle of that stretch of the year where we just kinda hang on for dear life and pray no one gets hurt. It would be easy for us fans to kinda sit back and bring that low energy

You’ve probably spent the last week reading our feminine shouldered low T fans tell everyone that will listen how scared they are. You can hear the sound of their little raisin balls shriveling up with the thought of playing superpowers like USF, VT, Cal etc

**** that

If yall are gonna sit there flicking your stubby little doorstep ****s holding your beer guts out of the way talking about “our guys better be focused!” then you better be doing your god**** part

Grab a vial, chop a line, give the wife a nice crisp slap across the *** and let’s get down to ******* time

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The Canes are 2-0 and now sit at #10 in the country after a thorough beat down of the best football team in Tallahassee. It wasn’t as crisp as the UiF game, but the talent on this team is crazy obvious

It’s not a perfect team but if you’ve got a QB, WR, OL, and DE…you can do some absolute damage

People are taking notice. The recruits are calling us. The hatred people have been harboring for us for decades is starting to leak out

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The next stop on our March to the Playoffs is just one big Pause of a university:

Ball State

Fun fact: Muncie, IN proudly calls itself “The Birmingham of the North”

The slogan written on the crest is: “One of my best friends is black”

Imagine you got a degree hanging on your wall and it just says: Ball State

Our “Ball State” is gonna be dragging across their foreheads

My current “Ball State” is full of synthetic Chinese “herbals”

Truth be told I haven’t scouted Ball State at all. I know it’s located in Indiana (ironic that Ball State is located in the taint of America) so lemme take a crack at this blind:

1. Lunch pail types
2. High motor
3. Well coached
4. Gritty
5. QB makes good decisions

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I expect a lot of players named Flynn and Kyle and weird spellings of common names by white parents that have way too much time on their hands. I guarantee the black players on the team have white names as well. No random hyphens or apostrophes or capital letters.

Pussies

I don’t know who the coach of Ball State is but I’m guessing he’s the type of guy that doesn’t realize his wife wearing hoop earrings and high heels to her personal training sessions is a red flag

Ball State may as well be Miami of Ohio from last year it’s all the same

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Truth is, this game is about us anyway.

Glorified practices where we work on situations and getting the young cats up to speed for when the injuries strike. I’m sure BALLSt will put up a fight but it ain’t about them

Here’s why we ROLLLLLLL

Cam Ward: I could highlight this kid every week. Our team will go as far as Cam takes us. In college football, every week is a test. All games are possible to lose if we don’t prepare. Guys like Cam leading the way and setting the tone are the difference. Cam is Robin Williams and our fans are Will Hunting. It’s not your fault…but I’m here now

X: God willing he will leave here the most decorated WR in Miami history. He calls himself The Thermostat and that’s the **** we’ve been missing for years. “Match me”. Just like the Reaper Heart in Mass Effect, this is one of our key War Assets

Markell Bell: I’m gonna be real this is the one thing I’m genuinely concerned about with this team. We’ve already had more missed games by starting OL than all of last year combined. No one on the team outside Cam may be as valuable as Jalen Rivers (given depth at the spot). I’m hoping Bell was just thinking too much last week and he shows dominance in this one

Tyler Baron: arguably the 2nd best player the portal gave us this year. He’s been a one man wrecking machine the likes we haven’t seen since John Holmes started plowing vag that resembled an abandoned baseball field. Seeing a freshman QB on the other side of the field is probably how John felt the first time he laid eyes on a young Christy Canyon. Its gonna be bad.

The talent on this team…

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Verdict:

Miami has some key injuries we are still working through. Bain, Rivers, Brown etc fact is we can’t afford anymore as we get into the tougher part of our schedule.

We are facing a scrappy (white) team but we just have too much leadership on this squad. Cam, X, Barrow, Baron etc

They will be overwhelmed with talent and heart

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Good Guys 38
Bad Guys 10

(Don’t get hung up on the score… there’s a method to my madness here we are testing)

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Only a 28 point win? You need to check your supplements because it seems like they’re letting you down.
I think he is factoring in bad weather. Supposed to be rainy and wet. Could be a high level running game which will shorten the game as well.
 
I think he is factoring in bad weather. Supposed to be rainy and wet. Could be a high level running game which will shorten the game as well.
Real talk I have some concerns with key injuries on the team. I expect it’s one of those “not as close as the score” games
 
38 points scored and the board will lose its mind.

I hope Mario understands the importance of scoring in the 50s whenever you can get it for the selection committee, for Cam's awards and draft status, and for next year's portal QB and fence sitting commits to consider us.
 
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38 points scored and the board will lose its mind.

I hope Mario understands the importance of scoring in the 50s whenever you can get it for the selection committee, for Cam's awards and draft status, and for next year's portal QB and fence sitting commits to consider us.
I’ll pass it along to him
 
45-6 idc about some rain, we’ve given up 2 TDs and both were to the gators and one was a broken play and the other we were already up 28 pts and had backups Rotating.

Mario is on they *** about last week and we coming out hot!! USF next week will be a great test so Hopefully Rivers, Brown and Bain are back for next week.
 
38 points scored and the board will lose its mind.

I hope Mario understands the importance of scoring in the 50s whenever you can get it for the selection committee, for Cam's awards and draft status, and for next year's portal QB and fence sitting commits to consider us.
I think you might not understand what Mario's job is?
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45-6 idc about some rain, we’ve given up 2 TDs and both were to the gators and one was a broken play and the other we were already up 28 pts and had backups Rotating.

Mario is on they *** about last week and we coming out hot!! USF next week will be a great test so Hopefully Rivers, Brown and Bain are back for next week.
Just like Week 1 there’s gonna be a poster that picks the actual score I think it will be

There’s some voodoo **** going on here trust ya boy
 
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