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The Work - Camp F.U.N. #10

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Give WTH his own forum for all UM satirical articles that would be Gold Jerry Gold

"Eye in the Sky"
"Baseball, Basketball and Tennis"
"KC AL and the Sunshine Band"
"The Recruiting Board"
 
UMFarArcher said:
WhatTheHell said:
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*** Camp "Football? Uhhh, Nothx" was in full swing this morning for their 10th day of summer camp.

-- Pool parties, ice cream trucks, talent shows, paintball, dance competitions, and dodgeball have all been featured, but things got intense this morning, when a heated game of cornhole broke out.


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-- The competition was intense, but ultimately Team Art Kehoe and Sunny Odogwu won the championship after Earl Moore's mom came to pick him up early, and Chad Thomas was forced to quit from a stomach ache after too many Popsicles.

-- Mature players continue to grow as players and people. Tracy Howard asked Gus Edwards to the end of camp dance, to which he said yes. Golden is thrilled with his progress. "Tracy's really opened up and become a leader here at camp. When he was first dropped off, he was very shy and would never leave his bunk. He's a whole new kid now. He's made a ton of friends and we think he can be a great friend this fall."

-- The secondary continues to bond. Corn Elder asked his mom if he could "sleep over Artie's house," and she eventually caved. "I told her I would scream as loud as I could and wouldn't stop until she said yes," Elder told me.

-- I asked Al Golden what he thinks he needs to change after a 7-loss season: "The quantifiable love metric is evolving. They're definitely working better together. You look for that increased cohesion metric across the matrix," Golden said. "When they acclimate to our system, we can begin to integrate our values and instill our pillars on a molecular level."

-- The OL's cohesion as a unit was on display in the arts and crafts hour, when after eating 3 tubs of glue and screaming at a pair of scissors, the unit was able to subdue Sonny Odogwu long enough to call for help.

-- Al Golden is confident his defense can improve on last year's ranking. "This team is different. When you get a group of 80 kids that just love up on each other - their young bodies glistening in the lake, muscles bouncing on the jet skis as Mark and I drive the boat - starting to buy in, you've got something special. These guys love eachother. They're inseparable. I have parents approach me worried about why their sons are sleeping at my house and telling me they've been acting weird and withdrawn [laughs]. But this is bonding. Just a group of guys seeing who could hug each other the hardest and whose breath is hottest. We didn't have this last year."

-- Miami will hold a water balloon fight Wednesday.
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I've been wondering about that.

Finally.
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But will it be at night?
 
WTH - Outstanding stuff. Keep up the good work. This could easily end up being the highlight of Al's season.
 
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GoldenShowers said:
dk72 said:
theu852 said:
If they are done with praftice whats wrong with getting together as a team and doing something. Better than going off and doing their own thing
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No, no, no. Don't you get it. They are all "losers" according the the whiners, because they went 6-7 last year. That means they are not allowed to do anything outside of practice with the rest of the team that might be considered fun. They must be on complete lockdown...because, you know, that's the best way to motivate anyone, much less teens, and is also a great way to attract recruits ('Come to Miami and we'll treat you like a prisoner!').
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Howard Schnellenberger laughs at the softness. So now ice cream and bingo are what recruit kids to play college ball? LOLOLOL jesus you must have a TINY IQ.
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What does this have to do with recruiting and softness. Would you rather have them book it to their dorm and mot talk to their teammates for the rest of the night?
 
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