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Nonsense Stats to Weird You Out

Dracula said:
I try. Off base: who's your favorite Gator and Nole to hate on?
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Spurrier for certain. I hate them more than the Noles.

Noles is a hard one. I hate that Marvin Jones and Dalvin went from MNW and Central to FSU. Not a fan of Dontae Lucas trying to bully Cam Harris before the game but then he got embarrassed and clowned on.
 
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Dracula said:
1. .561 to .560. Al Golden has a higher winning percentage than Randy Shannon.
* Within the letters "MARKDONOFRIO," one of the anagrams is "DOORMAN."

2. Jeff Stoutland had an undefeated record while head coach at Miami.
* Jeff "OUTLAST"-ed the doorman. That's about as interesting as I can get.

3. Since 2007, Miami has only won one bowl game.
* I hate badgering the point, yet they are 0-3 vs. Wisconsin. The word "COWS" comes to mind, because those mother-****ers have milked us poor common folk to death. At least cows have nips that hang, which made me smile, until I read #4.

4. Brad Kaaya is the all-time leader in passing yards.
* Brad Kaaya, translated in ancient Mesopotamian, means the words "_ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ."
(Go on, you know you want to.)

5. Duke Johnson is the all-time leader in rushing yards.
* Within the letters "DUKEJOHNSON," one of the anagrams is "JOHNSON." #knowledge

6. I miss Duke Johnson. He should have been awarded an honorary doctorate for playing under Al Golden. Or a medal. I'm certain there's a connection between Mr. Golden and R. Kelly, but I'm not witty enough to find it. I did find the word "DONGLE," which is innocent enough but sounds highly dirty. So I'll just dongle the wife after I complete this piece.

7. Jose Borregales was our last consensus All-American since Antrel Rolle in 2004.
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Nicely done.
 
Dracula said:
1. .561 to .560. Al Golden has a higher winning percentage than Randy Shannon.
* Within the letters "MARKDONOFRIO," one of the anagrams is "DOORMAN."

2. Jeff Stoutland had an undefeated record while head coach at Miami.
* Jeff "OUTLAST"-ed the doorman. That's about as interesting as I can get.

3. Since 2007, Miami has only won one bowl game.
* I hate badgering the point, yet they are 0-3 vs. Wisconsin. The word "COWS" comes to mind, because those mother-****ers have milked us poor common folk to death. At least cows have nips that hang, which made me smile, until I read #4.

4. Brad Kaaya is the all-time leader in passing yards.
* Brad Kaaya, translated in ancient Mesopotamian, means the words "_ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ."
(Go on, you know you want to.)

5. Duke Johnson is the all-time leader in rushing yards.
* Within the letters "DUKEJOHNSON," one of the anagrams is "JOHNSON." #knowledge

6. I miss Duke Johnson. He should have been awarded an honorary doctorate for playing under Al Golden. Or a medal. I'm certain there's a connection between Mr. Golden and R. Kelly, but I'm not witty enough to find it. I did find the word "DONGLE," which is innocent enough but sounds highly dirty. So I'll just dongle the wife after I complete this piece.

7. Jose Borregales was our last consensus All-American since Antrel Rolle in 2004.
Click to expand...
The Duke one is so true…

kid could have played with any canes team and was wasted with those fat fugggs Golden and Dorito
 
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