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- Jan 27, 2012
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No one may care about this, but I was inspired. Reflecting on the unlikely series of events that brought us to today. What a time.
Act I - The 2014 Season
Al Golden - Instead of being reasonably fired after another infuriatingly bland season, Golden is retained. In a move that showcases everything wrong with Miami, Golden isn't even forced to fire a single assistant, effectively ensuring the same pedestrian results the following year. (This is called a latent eucatastrophe.)
Donna Shalala - Under the cover story of "not wanting to leave her successor a mess", Shalala neglects to fire Golden. But this is likely due to the final installment of goodwill from Golden overseeing Miami through a "unforeseen" period of NCAA investigation and sanction -- and an unreasonably hefty buyout due to panic over that same cloudy debacle. Nevertheless, had Golden been canned it is Shalala who directs the next hire. Likely another thrifty up-and-coming-type. Cheap everything. Scant staff budget.
Kirby Smart - For the umpteenth year in a row, the stud Alabama assistant doesn't take an HC job. Whispers abound that he's taking one the following year however, come what may.
Act II - The 2015 Season
Steve Spurrier - The HBC calls it quits mid season. With a taste of the SEC good life still in their mouth, USCe seems to want a legit, high-money replacement. While not their first choice, Kirby Smart is "on their short list", prompting awareness for any other schools who might be targeting him as well.
Gary Pinkel - Citing serious health concerns, one of the longest tenured coaches in the sport shocks the world and announces his retirement.
Golden - After an historically hellacious loss to Clemson, Golden is relieved of his position. But within days the mood of Miami's search is markedly different than those previous. Rumors of a "4 mil/year guy" are getting traction, a number unheard of in Miami's lamentable and frugal history. But the school bides its time, during which the fan base does everything short of ethnically cleanse itself. Several different factions make like Roman legions and declare their guy as "the only obvious choice to reclaim our old glory". Some civil wars seemed kinder.
Mark Richt - Mid season this 15 year coach watches his team squander a 21 point lead vs Tennessee, sending a perpetual hot seat into a furious boil. Unless a dramatic miracle occurred, Richt was as good as gone and Smart was his replacement. But if UGA doesn't blow that game? Perhaps the 10-win coach escapes with his tenure intact. And if Smart had taken a job the year previously -- or South Carolina even weeks earlier -- maybe Richt stays on as well.
Act III - The Hiring Season
Julio Frenk - First announced in 2014, Frenk takes over as President at Miami. He boasts a professional pedigree the depth of the Mariana Trench, but sports-wise he's a complete unknown. Yet the high-dollar rumors still lingering around Miami's search are attributed somewhat to his desire. Frenk puts his influence to work immediately.
Mark Richt - Just days after being let go at Georgia, Mark Richt accepts the Miami HC gig in an Atlanta airport. Smart is hired to replace him at Georgia. South Carolina hires an unknown. The lynch pin is said to be Richt's compensation demands for his staff, which Blake James promises will be "better than the Florida Lottery payout". (Allegedly)
Barry Odom - Taking over at Missouri for Pinkel, Odom declines to retain DL coach Craig Kuligowski. Unimaginable just weeks earlier, Kuligowski is a free agent.
Craig Kuligowski - Unemployed for the first time in over a decade and a half, Kuligowski is courted by many programs. But Miami is paying legit money for the first time ever, and has just hired one of the most reputable coaches in the game. Much like Richt, Kuligowski falls right into Miami's lap. Much like Richt again, Miami is paying real football money.
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In short, where we are today is owed to God, the current admin, Donna Shalala and -- ironically -- Nevin "lil luke" Shapiro. Otherwise Golden is never given the premature extension, is fired at least a year prior to 2015 (when Richt and Kuligowski were utterly unavailable), and none of the subsequent events matter in the least.
From the indebted heart of Canesfam: Thanks, Nevin. Instead of burying us, you helped raise us from the dead.
Act I - The 2014 Season
Al Golden - Instead of being reasonably fired after another infuriatingly bland season, Golden is retained. In a move that showcases everything wrong with Miami, Golden isn't even forced to fire a single assistant, effectively ensuring the same pedestrian results the following year. (This is called a latent eucatastrophe.)
Donna Shalala - Under the cover story of "not wanting to leave her successor a mess", Shalala neglects to fire Golden. But this is likely due to the final installment of goodwill from Golden overseeing Miami through a "unforeseen" period of NCAA investigation and sanction -- and an unreasonably hefty buyout due to panic over that same cloudy debacle. Nevertheless, had Golden been canned it is Shalala who directs the next hire. Likely another thrifty up-and-coming-type. Cheap everything. Scant staff budget.
Kirby Smart - For the umpteenth year in a row, the stud Alabama assistant doesn't take an HC job. Whispers abound that he's taking one the following year however, come what may.
Act II - The 2015 Season
Steve Spurrier - The HBC calls it quits mid season. With a taste of the SEC good life still in their mouth, USCe seems to want a legit, high-money replacement. While not their first choice, Kirby Smart is "on their short list", prompting awareness for any other schools who might be targeting him as well.
Gary Pinkel - Citing serious health concerns, one of the longest tenured coaches in the sport shocks the world and announces his retirement.
Golden - After an historically hellacious loss to Clemson, Golden is relieved of his position. But within days the mood of Miami's search is markedly different than those previous. Rumors of a "4 mil/year guy" are getting traction, a number unheard of in Miami's lamentable and frugal history. But the school bides its time, during which the fan base does everything short of ethnically cleanse itself. Several different factions make like Roman legions and declare their guy as "the only obvious choice to reclaim our old glory". Some civil wars seemed kinder.
Mark Richt - Mid season this 15 year coach watches his team squander a 21 point lead vs Tennessee, sending a perpetual hot seat into a furious boil. Unless a dramatic miracle occurred, Richt was as good as gone and Smart was his replacement. But if UGA doesn't blow that game? Perhaps the 10-win coach escapes with his tenure intact. And if Smart had taken a job the year previously -- or South Carolina even weeks earlier -- maybe Richt stays on as well.
Act III - The Hiring Season
Julio Frenk - First announced in 2014, Frenk takes over as President at Miami. He boasts a professional pedigree the depth of the Mariana Trench, but sports-wise he's a complete unknown. Yet the high-dollar rumors still lingering around Miami's search are attributed somewhat to his desire. Frenk puts his influence to work immediately.
Mark Richt - Just days after being let go at Georgia, Mark Richt accepts the Miami HC gig in an Atlanta airport. Smart is hired to replace him at Georgia. South Carolina hires an unknown. The lynch pin is said to be Richt's compensation demands for his staff, which Blake James promises will be "better than the Florida Lottery payout". (Allegedly)
Barry Odom - Taking over at Missouri for Pinkel, Odom declines to retain DL coach Craig Kuligowski. Unimaginable just weeks earlier, Kuligowski is a free agent.
Craig Kuligowski - Unemployed for the first time in over a decade and a half, Kuligowski is courted by many programs. But Miami is paying legit money for the first time ever, and has just hired one of the most reputable coaches in the game. Much like Richt, Kuligowski falls right into Miami's lap. Much like Richt again, Miami is paying real football money.
-------
In short, where we are today is owed to God, the current admin, Donna Shalala and -- ironically -- Nevin "lil luke" Shapiro. Otherwise Golden is never given the premature extension, is fired at least a year prior to 2015 (when Richt and Kuligowski were utterly unavailable), and none of the subsequent events matter in the least.
From the indebted heart of Canesfam: Thanks, Nevin. Instead of burying us, you helped raise us from the dead.
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