A long, long time ago, I can still remember
How recruiting used to make Gators smile
And I knew if UM had a glimmer
Dennis would post the Ibis pic on Twitter
And then Canes could be happy and smile
But March & April made me shiver
With every blue chip they'd deliver
Bad news on the Gators' feed
As they claimed the recruiting lead
I can't remember if I cried
For the 5-star OL on the inside
Or the 4-star QB we denied
The day the Gator class died
So, bye, bye, class that's in the Top Five
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
And them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Did alums fund the Collective?
And do kids have faith in the NIL bid
If Hugh Hathcock tells them so?
Do they believe the Gator DFO?
Can Twinblade save their mortal soul?
And can Sumrall teach us how to talk real slow?
Well, I know that they're in love with him
'Cause I saw them lifting weights in the gym
They finally finished up The Gauntlet
While sporting gear from Tangier Outlet
I was a Gator-hatin' mother****
With a trial subscription, faking Gator-cuck
But I knew the Gates were short a buck
The day the Gator class died
I started singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Now for ten years they've been trending down
Taking fat linemen likely to drown
But that's not how it used to be
When Mr. 2 Bits sang for the king and dame
At the (not quite) sold out big Spring Game
The Gator fans got hard and almost came
And though Slingblade was a major clown
Twinblade Jon stole his thorny crown
As the Gator fans' stomachs churned
The fundraising pleas were spurned
And while Philo tried to learn offense
Fans reverted to a kneejerk defense
And they made excuses so intense
The day the Gator class died
They were singin', "Bye-bye class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
"I Won't Back Down" in the spring game swelter
The bats flew off looking for better shelter
Eight losses and likely to finish last
Football landed dead on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
While Sumrall begs for a spring Portal class
Now, the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the Gators played a marching tune
They all got up to sing
But they'll never win a ring
'Cause the players tried to take the field
Bent like when Ned Beatty kneeled
Do you recall how that pig squealed
The day the Gator class died?
They started singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Oh, and there they were, all in one spot
A fanbase in desperate need of pot
No time left for copium again
So come on, Baugh be nimble, Baugh be quick
Drake Stubbs sat on a candlestick
'Cause field goals are the Gator's only friend
Oh, and as they watched Twinblade try to engage
Their hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in ****
Could fix that A.D. hiring fail
And as the team struggled with its blight
Trying so hard just to run plays right
They saw Kirby laughing with delight
The day the Gator class died
Sumrall was singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
And singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
Met a Gator fan who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just frowned and turned away
I went down to the Gator merch store
Where I'd heard football laughter years before
But the man said the Gator's defense couldn't play
And in the streets, the fans all screamed
The alums cried and the boosters dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The Swamp seats all were broken
And the three men they admire most
The Urban, Steve, and Tebow Ghost
Each chose to be an ESPN host
The day the Gator class died
And they were singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
And Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die
This'll be the day that we die"
They were singin', "Bye-bye, class that's in the Top Five"
Drove recruits to Payne's Prairie, but The Prairie was dry
Them good old Gates were drinkin' whiskey 'n Rye
Singin', "This'll be the day that we die"
….my sincere apology.
