Coaching Funny Quotes from your Coaches

[gogeta4]

I had a coach who had so many rememberable quotes. His #1 was attention to detail, so we were doing come drills as DBs. One dude kept knocking over the cones. He stops the drill and says...

"******* Mario (who was a senior), you wonder why you're still on JV. You're going to be on JV so long your grandkids are going to be come up to me...Coach Holland, why am I still on JV? And I'm going to tell them it's because your granddaddy Mario ****ed it all up for you!"

Where did u play?

 

[RattlerCane305]

This must be Cape Canaveral with all these space cadets runnin' roun' this mutha****a!!!!

 

[RattlerCane305]

What the fucc was that, Matador?!?! You gone get your QB killed with that ¡Olé! blockin' ****!!!!

 

[CANEMC]

'You m@$#@#$fers are shootin with your eyes closed...'

Basketball coach in HS.

 

[We the Boss]

'You boys will make a GOT ****.......PREACHER CUSS!'

'Somethin in the milk ain't white...'

Fun thread...let's hear em!

"Belive it or not, he and Javarris James are kind of like butt buddies."

 

[Sandman211]

Where did u play?

Albuquerque, NM. My coach had a small stint with the AZ Cardinals back in the day. He used to say some crazy stuff.

 

[CANEMC]

I had a coach who had so many rememberable quotes. His #1 was attention to detail, so we were doing come drills as DBs. One dude kept knocking over the cones. He stops the drill and says...

"******* Mario (who was a senior), you wonder why you're still on JV. You're going to be on JV so long your grandkids are going to be come up to me...Coach Holland, why am I still on JV? And I'm going to tell them it's because your granddaddy Mario ****ed it all up for you!"

GOLD.

 

[RichterScale]

As a walkon safety in college, I stood next to the DB coach at the first home game. When he got ****ed, he would grab whoever was to his left and throw them in. My first college play, he grabs me and throws me in to replace the starter. As soon as the huddle breaks he yells "Holy ****, what the **** is two five doing out there!" Pretty sure he never knew my name.

After one play, I get subbed out and as I run to him he yells "Son, if I ever try to put U on the field again, just keep running to the locker room. We'll play with 10!"

 

[NCCanefan]

Coach to a teammate who was great in practice but was nervous and lousy in games: You"re so tight out there, you couldn't squeeze out a fart.

 

[Trav]

When a young lineman gets into a stance for the first time:

"you look like a bear taking a dump in the woods, son"

 

[Trav]

You guys are colder than a witch’s *** in a brass bar- get the **** out there and start hitting some shots. Bball coach obviously.

My basketball coach used that same line

 

[KWCOWBOYFAN]

Heard someone said:

Our luck is so bad that if it was raining puzzy, we would get hit with a d-ck.

 

[Coach Macho]

Just steal some of these bro.

 

[CANEMC]

Couple of fries short of a Happy Meal.

Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.

Can’t fix stupid. My personal favorite.

Not the brightest bulb in the lamp.

Can't never could!

 

[TheToadSage]

“Fvck em and feed em fish heads!!!”
“That’s a nice hit son, but let’s injure the other team on Friday night not your teammates.”
My own personal moment is when I got ejected from the game bc I punted the football when the ref asked for the ball. He said give me the ball, I said this ball? Proceeded to punt the ball and said go get it.

 

[Caneadian]

quick like a bunny

 

[RedSquare]

Coach Cozza to a teammate after his freshman season at Yale:

"son, i see a lot of potential. That's right, potential. Which is a way of saying that right at this moment in time ... you're not worth a ****"

 

[Ajcane8]

Good enough for government work.

 

[Eric The Midget]

Leans into my face "dont be a *****". First football practice ever.

 

[mcnaire2004]

Lollygagging