Coaching Funny Quotes from your Coaches

[CANEMC]

'You boys will make a GOT ****.......PREACHER CUSS!'

'Somethin in the milk ain't white...'

Fun thread...let's hear em!

 

[404Usernamenotfound]

"it's supposed to hurt the first few times, but you will get used to it and the bleeding will stop"

 

[423Hurricane]

Couple of fries short of a Happy Meal.

Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.

Can’t fix stupid. My personal favorite.

Not the brightest bulb in the lamp.

 

[JG13]

"You f@ggots haven't earned any f*cking water...run the field!" - 7th grade football coach circa 1991

 

[Silentobserver]

Grind to shine

Whose got it better than we do

Knock his **** in the dirt

 

[Bender]

GO GET THE BALL.

 

[Mikeiavelli]

The best coaches with the best sayings are Drill Sergeants

 

[bigsonnyu]

"Fatigue will make a punk out of You"

 

[FuriousStyles]

“Some people would give their left nut to be on this team but you p*ssies can’t (fill in the blank with whatever )…”

“All I wanna see is asses and elbows ladies”… (when he ran us until we puked)

We all were called “pansies” at some point…

If a defensive player missed a tackle… “If you wouldn’t have be playing grab *** and f’ing hit the guy he wouldn’t have gotten away”

 

[Headhunter]

It aint fair?? '"fair is place where they give a blue ribbon to a pig"

"That boy slower than hot steam off of dog shiet"

"you want to hoot with the Owls at night, you better be ready to sore with the eagles in the morning"

"drinking more than a mouthful of water will give you cramps"

 

[305407cane]

Bulls**t you look like you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose

 

[Sigma_Cane_7]

Coach Ponce- “Ay coach Hep (Hepburn), while you’re at the store, can you find some DBs. And while you’re at it, get me some o-linemen to!”

Anytime position groups were missing assignments during practice.

 

[Geddy Lee]

"I need a beer" said everyone here

 

[L A M P]

I’ve seen better double teams in midget ****

 

[HakaCane]

You can't make chicken salad with chicken sh*t. My job is to get rid of the chicken sh*t on this team.

 

[gogeta4]

The best ever...Shot out to former UM Hurricane coach andd 2x Hurricane Dad...Miami Legend Ice Harris

 

[Memnon]

“Aye DB’s get you some popcorn & a lawn chair.. If yall ain’t gone press the fckin WR’s you might as well get comfortable!”

Followed by a hat toss, deep sigh, head shake & “Fck man!.”

 

[tsimonitis]

You all are a blonde **** hair away from running the rest of practice

 

[CANEMC]

In the sideline huddle prior to kickoffs, 'Bring me his mouthpiece.'

During the Oklahoma drill, 'Put the Riddell logo on his chest!!'

Needless to say, we had an awesome defense.

 

[JerseyCanes]

“I would call you ***** pussies but that would be insulting what I love the most!!!!!”

JC