You got time for me to tell you a story? I'm gonna tell you a story right now. A story about a man named Stone Cold Steve Austin. Who rolled into Miami, Florida last night. And when I rolled into Miami, Florida, I was real thirsty. So I went to a bar. And started drinking beer. And more beer. And more beer. Then I started throwing darts. Playing pool. Drinking beer. Then I got on one of those mechanical bulls. I rode that bull frontways, sideways, backwards, frontways, two-handed, one-handed, no-handed, finally had to shut that sumbitch down 'cause I wore it out!
Then I started drinking more beer. And I started a fight. And the whole bar started fighting. I whipped everybody's ***. I threw 'em all out the door. Every single one right out the door. Finally, the bartender said: 'Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!' And I said 'What?', he goes 'why are you throwing everybody out the **** bar?', I say 'You dumb son of a *****, I'm getting ready to visit the Hurricane coaching staff!'. And the bartender looked at me and he said 'Stone Cold?' and I said 'What?'. He said 'I heard Miami Diaz is going to outcoach Georgia Tech"
I drank some of that beer, I put that beer down, I looked at that bartender right in the eye and I said 'What?', he said 'I heard Miami Diaz is going to outcoach Georgia Tech' and I said 'Uh-uh!'. Manny Diaz is gonna do a lot of things in his life and he made a big stink in the offseason. He made alot of great comments. Phenomenal. He's the head coach. He talked a **** good game. The bottom line is, he can do all the talking, but that one thing he'll never do is throw Stone Cold Steve Austin over the top rope, that just won't happen!
I looked at that bartender, and I said 'As a matter of fact, I'm working on my strategy right now'. That's what he said, he said 'What?', I said 'I'm working on my strategy right now'. I looked down at my waist and I said 'Do you see that?', he said 'What?', I said do you see that? That's what he said, he said 'What?', I said 'That's a beer belly'. By lowering my center of gravity, it makes it hard for a man to throw me over the top rope. That's Stone Cold Steve Austin's strategy. You understand what I'm talking about?
So I looked at that bartender, and I said 'I ain't gonna mess with your mechanical bull no more, you can let everybody back in, 'cause I'm gonna drink every single beer you got to work on this beer belly', he said 'What?', 'Beer belly!', 'What?', 'Beer belly!', 'What?'. 'And while I'm working on this beer belly, when I drink all your beer, I'm going down to what-what-what-what-what-what-Whataburger and I'm gonna get a Whataburger with cheese. A Whataburger without cheese. A Whataburger with double cheese. And french fries. Some more french fries! Ah, **** it, one of them french canned fish sandwiches! Another Whataburger with double cheese!
And I'm gonna roll into that Hard Rock Stadium one ****ed-off sumbitch, because, Manny Diaz, you said you kicked my *** once? So you think you can do it again? That's what I said, I said 'What? Uh-uh!'. And if you got a problem with that, I can say that to your face, , I can say that to your back, I can say that to your other side, or I can say that right to your face, because the bottom line is, Stone Cold Steve Austin is going to the Hard Rock Stadium to win, to go to WrestleMania, and that's the bottom line—What? 'Cause Stone Cold said so!"
