That’s right you sadistic little ***** it’s about that mutha****kin time again!
It’s November
It’s Miami
That means we need that extra extra today
So pile up enough snow to make
@JackMcClinton89 shake in his Ugg boots and grab a big old handful of buttcheek that got you banned from Tootsies
ITS ****** BENCHHHH DAYYYYYYY
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Admittedly last week before Syracuse, post SMU implosion I was not at my best
The calendar turns November and Mario recreates the other famous event from November
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Whelp the same system that we (correctly) trash year after year has come back to save us
The preseason polls
The playoff committee has basically told Miami “win and you’re in”
Last week we ****ed around for a while and then ultimately put Syracuse away
Honestly if James Blackman (FSU QB) were a head coach he would be Fran Brown
Thanks for playing, Fran
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So what’s next?
Apparently there’s some South Florida QB that plays for NCST
Per the usual no one outside this board has heard of him but the Pied Pipers of Miami would have you think Patrick Mahomes is coming to town
People on the board flicking their beans to the fantasy of James Coley calling plays for CJ Bailey next year with Frank Ponce in the lab
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Bailey was thoroughly embarrassed by Notre Dame and I’m sure it’s because “his receivers ****ed him over”
Per the usual this game isn’t about the opponent on the other side of the field…it’s about the opponent in our own locker room
Last year it was the defense and now it’s the offense
Mario, Mirabal, Dawson, and Beck need to have a good long sit down this week and figure it the **** out
Forget Coach O and other analysts, this team has needed Dr Phil for two years
Presnap motion? Eye candy? Malachi Toney as a gadget player?
And it worked??
THIS is why I think we chisel a few new plays on our cave wall and come away with the W:
Malachi Toney: i I’ve been begging our coaches to watch a little bit of Kyle Shanahans offense and use Toney like a mini Deebo. We saw some glimpses last week. If you were a **** Director in the 90s all you had to do was call a play for Jenna Jameson and it was gold. Toney is your Jenna, Shannon. Do what it takes to get them the ball (pause)
Mesidor: Scott is a devastating loss no way around it. Not just for talent but for his responsibilities on the defense. So we need people to step up. My first thought is the DEs. Teams have tried to neutralize Bain (and had some success). Short passes will be the name of the game so it’s up to the DL to pressure quickly but stay disciplined. Mesidor brings that Sully Uncharted energy we need. Be our John Meadows
Beck: the offense really needs to shine this week. NCST ******* sucks on defense. It’s tragic to think a multimillionaire college QB needs something for confidence but he does. This dude needs to just take some Cialis and hit a dive bar at 1am. He needs a no doubter no matter how fat she is. Dont worry about the smokers cough or the missing tooth, just let her tell you she loves the way your eyes remind her of a pigeon and get your mojo back like Austin Powers
Jaboree Antoine: total shot in the dark here but the injuries at CB have me looking for someone to step up. O’Connor is obvious but I’m curious to see if Antoine gets playing time. The kid is the truth. He’s gonna Wally Pipp one of these DBs at some point. Might be this week
Verdict: Just like Amber Lynn returning to the game 20 years later, this is gonna be a tough stretch. Don’t force it. We don’t need to attack things like 2024 Miami on offense. Just like Amber, some people appreciate a few wrinkles here and there. They can go a long way
N7 Day was last week and we need to take some hints from Mass Effect Andromeda. Do the basics correctly and sprinkle in some new stuff. Don’t mess with it. A simple patch will take care of those ridiculous textures and faces
Offense been looking like this
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Dawson channels his inner Gandalf and heads over to the Royal Library of Minas Tirath
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I think we bounce back this week and continues the trajectory of a season ending game with everything on the line at Pitt
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Good Guys 34
Bad Guys 17
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