reg
Sophomore
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2014
- Messages
- 3,842
I woke up this morning with the urge to write. I decided to put something together for the CIS family. Oh, and for the posters who always say thing same thing on post like this....Yes, I was bored, and yes, it's indeed the off-season. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it this morning. Enjoy the rest of you day and to all the Mothers on the board, I hope you have the best of days!
Characters (In order of appearance or mention)
Patient, (Age 28, Dade County Resident, Lifelong/Diehard Hurricanes fan)
EMT, (Age 33)
Nurse #1, (Female, Age 26)
Nurse #2, (Male, Age 35)
Doctor, (Male, Age 48)
Medium, (Female, Age 53)
CIS member #1
Ghost #1
Ed Reed
Time
The present, early afternoon
Place
University of Miami Hospital: At this point, an Ambulance has pulled into the Ambulance entrance way and has now placed the patient on a gurney outside of the Ambulance, in order to rush him into the hospital.
Scene
Scene opens with the EMT knocking open two hospital doors with the patient’s gurney (patient lying on the gurney). Two nurses are already standing by, anxiously waiting for the EMT’s arrival with the patient. The scene progresses as the characters walk urgently through the hospital.
Patient: (looking up at the EMT) It burns!
EMT: Hang in there, Champ. (EMT then yell’s as loud as he can)…….I need help over here!!!
Nurse #1: Is it a gunshot wound?
EMT: No! It’s worse. The patient spent two nights in Gainesville, and appears to have came into physical contact with one of the locals!
Nurse #2: ****!........F’uck……..****!
Nurse#1: Keep it together, nurse!
Patient: It burns!
Nurse #1: (Looking at the patient) Everything is going to be okay.
Nurse #2: F’uck!..........****!
EMT: It’s the worst that I’ve ever seen
Patient: What’s happening to me?
Doctor: My God!?!?!?!
Nurse #2: ****!
Doctor: (with a flashlight in the eyes of the patient) What are his vitals?
EMT: His pulse is 8 beats per 24 seconds. It should be 19 beats. (reference to 8/24/19)
Doctor: Body temperature?
EMT: Miami, in the summer!
Nurse #2: F’uck!.....****!
Nurse #1: Patient has been complaining about his skin burning. This looks like a…..
Doctor: Nurse, shut up!
Patient: Looks like a what?
Doctor: It’s nothing. We are taking care of it.
EMT: He was also going in and out of consciousness on the ride over here.
Doctor: Get me 16 cc’s of Gaytor Tears and 12 cc’s of Nole Teas, ASAP! Someone get @RVACane on the line. We are going to need more Gaytor tears. Also, who is the Medium on duty tonight? Call the Medium and tell them to meet us in Operating Room 5:
Nurse #1: The Medium, sir? We don’t have time for a Medium. We need to operate now!
Doctor: Just get me a d’amn Medium!
Nurse #1: Why?
Doctor: This is an extreme case! We may need someone to contact Sean Taylor!
Nurse #2: ****!
Nurse #1: Okay. I will call now.
Doctor: (looking down at the patient) What’s your favorite football team?
Patient: The Miami Gaytor’s!
Doctor: (whispers to the EMT and Nurse #2) It’s happening!
Nurse #2: F’uck!
Doctor: (looking at the patient) What’s your haircut of choice?
Patient: A Mullet
Doctor: Cargo Shorts or Jeans?
Patient: Jorts
Nurse #2: ****!.......motha****er!
Doctor: How do you prefer your steaks?
Patient: White’s Only!
Doctor: No. Not State,……Steaks! How do you like your steak cooked?
Patient: Oh, I thought you said State. I like my steaks Well Done, perfect just like a Tim Tebow half-time speech!
EMT: Don’t you mean, “like an Ed Reed halftime speech”
Patient: Who is Ed Reed?
Nurse #2: ****!
Doctor: (Looking down at the patient). I am legally obligated to inform you that I am about to perform an emergency operation on you. You will be in surgery for the next few hours. You made physical contact with a Gainesville local, and now you are rapidly progressing through what we at UM call the “change.” We have experienced this in the past, but never at this extreme, rapid level. You are becoming a Gaytor fan. The burn that you feel, is your skin literally transforming into a ****-like substance!
Patient: Please help me, Doc! I don’t want to be a ****!
Patient: I love Tim Tebow! Aaron Hernandez is innocent! Gatyor Nation, Gaytor Nation, Gaytor Nation!!!
Doctor: Where’s the Medium? I am afraid that surgery will not be enough.
Nurse #1: I was able to reach the medium. She is already in the operating room awaiting our arrival.
Doctor: Perfect!
Patient: Is it time to go Mud riding yet? Has anyone seen my lard and fireworks? Go Gaytors!
Nurse #1: Wow. He has gotten much worse in the last 2 minutes!
Medium: C-A-N-E-S, C-A-N-E-S, C-A-N-E-S
Doctor: Nothing is happening!
Nurse #2: ****!........****!.........****-****!
Nurse #1: (looking at the Medium) Do something. We are going to lose the patient!
Medium: C-A-N-E-S, C-A-N-E-S, C-A-N-E-S. He’s not responding.
Patient: What’s this stuff on my arms?
Nurse #2: ****!
Nurse #1: ****?
Doctor: He is literally turning into a giant ****!
Nurse #1: (looking at the Medium) Hurry Up!
Medium: I am trying, but ST is not responding to me. Wait. I got it!...........Sean, Chris Rix is in the room and he is about to throw the football.
Sean Taylor: What’s that f’ucking smell?
Nurse #2: ****!
Doctor: (Looking at the medium) Please inform Sean that the patient is a Diehard UM fan, but is morphing into a Gaytor fan due to coming in contact with a Gainesville local while he was visiting the city.
Sean: Is he alright?
Ed Reed via hologram: Don’t ask me if he is alright! **** naw, he ain’t alright. The doctor said operate, and they can’t operate!
Sean: What the f’uck was he doing in Gainesville?
Medium: Sean we don’t have time for the details. Can you stop him from turning into a Gaytor fan? We only have a few seconds left before the “change” is irreversible.
Sean: Move aside!
Nurse #1: He did it! The patient is no longer infected! Sean, has made the interception.
Doctor: (Checking the patient vital signs). Confirmed! The patient is clear of all “change” symptoms. Sean, if you can hear me. Thank you!
Patient: You saved my life!
Nurse #2: (with a huge smile on his face) F’uck!
Medium: We are forever grateful for your service to The U, Mr. Taylor! You will always be the GOAT.
Ed Reed: My man!
Characters (In order of appearance or mention)
Patient, (Age 28, Dade County Resident, Lifelong/Diehard Hurricanes fan)
EMT, (Age 33)
Nurse #1, (Female, Age 26)
Nurse #2, (Male, Age 35)
Doctor, (Male, Age 48)
Medium, (Female, Age 53)
CIS member #1
Ghost #1
Ed Reed
Time
The present, early afternoon
Place
University of Miami Hospital: At this point, an Ambulance has pulled into the Ambulance entrance way and has now placed the patient on a gurney outside of the Ambulance, in order to rush him into the hospital.
Scene
Scene opens with the EMT knocking open two hospital doors with the patient’s gurney (patient lying on the gurney). Two nurses are already standing by, anxiously waiting for the EMT’s arrival with the patient. The scene progresses as the characters walk urgently through the hospital.
Patient: (looking up at the EMT) It burns!
EMT: Hang in there, Champ. (EMT then yell’s as loud as he can)…….I need help over here!!!
Nurse #1: Is it a gunshot wound?
EMT: No! It’s worse. The patient spent two nights in Gainesville, and appears to have came into physical contact with one of the locals!
Nurse #2: ****!........F’uck……..****!
Nurse#1: Keep it together, nurse!
Patient: It burns!
Nurse #1: (Looking at the patient) Everything is going to be okay.
Nurse #2: F’uck!..........****!
EMT: It’s the worst that I’ve ever seen
Patient: What’s happening to me?
(The Doctor is now seen running towards the patient and arrives with a very concerned look on his face once he sees the patient)
Doctor: My God!?!?!?!
Nurse #2: ****!
Doctor: (with a flashlight in the eyes of the patient) What are his vitals?
EMT: His pulse is 8 beats per 24 seconds. It should be 19 beats. (reference to 8/24/19)
Doctor: Body temperature?
EMT: Miami, in the summer!
Nurse #2: F’uck!.....****!
Nurse #1: Patient has been complaining about his skin burning. This looks like a…..
Doctor: Nurse, shut up!
Patient: Looks like a what?
Doctor: It’s nothing. We are taking care of it.
EMT: He was also going in and out of consciousness on the ride over here.
Doctor: Get me 16 cc’s of Gaytor Tears and 12 cc’s of Nole Teas, ASAP! Someone get @RVACane on the line. We are going to need more Gaytor tears. Also, who is the Medium on duty tonight? Call the Medium and tell them to meet us in Operating Room 5:
Nurse #1: The Medium, sir? We don’t have time for a Medium. We need to operate now!
Doctor: Just get me a d’amn Medium!
Nurse #1: Why?
Doctor: This is an extreme case! We may need someone to contact Sean Taylor!
Nurse #2: ****!
Nurse #1: Okay. I will call now.
(The group has now made it to the elevator on the ground floor and is now headed to the 8thfloor, where the operating rooms are located. While standing on the elevator, there is a look of great concern on faces the Doctor, EMT, and Nurse #2. The issue with the patient has escalated and has spread rapidly. The doctor is now in fear that beginning stages of the “change” has already begun. Considering that they have a little time on the elevator, the doctor begins to ask the patient a few questions to try to get a better assessment of the mental state of the patient so he can determine the level of damage that the “change” has caused thus far.)
Doctor: (looking down at the patient) What’s your favorite football team?
Patient: The Miami Gaytor’s!
Doctor: (whispers to the EMT and Nurse #2) It’s happening!
Nurse #2: F’uck!
Doctor: (looking at the patient) What’s your haircut of choice?
Patient: A Mullet
Doctor: Cargo Shorts or Jeans?
Patient: Jorts
Nurse #2: ****!.......motha****er!
Doctor: How do you prefer your steaks?
Patient: White’s Only!
Doctor: No. Not State,……Steaks! How do you like your steak cooked?
Patient: Oh, I thought you said State. I like my steaks Well Done, perfect just like a Tim Tebow half-time speech!
EMT: Don’t you mean, “like an Ed Reed halftime speech”
Patient: Who is Ed Reed?
Nurse #2: ****!
Doctor: (Looking down at the patient). I am legally obligated to inform you that I am about to perform an emergency operation on you. You will be in surgery for the next few hours. You made physical contact with a Gainesville local, and now you are rapidly progressing through what we at UM call the “change.” We have experienced this in the past, but never at this extreme, rapid level. You are becoming a Gaytor fan. The burn that you feel, is your skin literally transforming into a ****-like substance!
Patient: Please help me, Doc! I don’t want to be a ****!
(Two seconds later)
Patient: I love Tim Tebow! Aaron Hernandez is innocent! Gatyor Nation, Gaytor Nation, Gaytor Nation!!!
(Elevator door now opens. Nurse #1 is standing there waiting as the doors open.)
Doctor: Where’s the Medium? I am afraid that surgery will not be enough.
Nurse #1: I was able to reach the medium. She is already in the operating room awaiting our arrival.
Doctor: Perfect!
Patient: Is it time to go Mud riding yet? Has anyone seen my lard and fireworks? Go Gaytors!
Nurse #1: Wow. He has gotten much worse in the last 2 minutes!
(The group enters the operating room, where the medium has already begun doing his chants to summon Sean Taylor’s presence.)
Medium: C-A-N-E-S, C-A-N-E-S, C-A-N-E-S
Doctor: Nothing is happening!
Nurse #2: ****!........****!.........****-****!
Nurse #1: (looking at the Medium) Do something. We are going to lose the patient!
Medium: C-A-N-E-S, C-A-N-E-S, C-A-N-E-S. He’s not responding.
Patient: What’s this stuff on my arms?
Nurse #2: ****!
Nurse #1: ****?
Doctor: He is literally turning into a giant ****!
Nurse #1: (looking at the Medium) Hurry Up!
Medium: I am trying, but ST is not responding to me. Wait. I got it!...........Sean, Chris Rix is in the room and he is about to throw the football.
(A ghost-like figure immediately appears from the ceiling. It is Sean Taylor and he is wearing a White T-Shirt with #TNM embroidered on it. Everyone is the room can see and hear Sean but only the medium can speak with him)
Sean Taylor: What’s that f’ucking smell?
Nurse #2: ****!
Doctor: (Looking at the medium) Please inform Sean that the patient is a Diehard UM fan, but is morphing into a Gaytor fan due to coming in contact with a Gainesville local while he was visiting the city.
Sean: Is he alright?
Ed Reed via hologram: Don’t ask me if he is alright! **** naw, he ain’t alright. The doctor said operate, and they can’t operate!
(Fast forward to after the medium has informed Sean of the situation regarding the patient)
Sean: What the f’uck was he doing in Gainesville?
Medium: Sean we don’t have time for the details. Can you stop him from turning into a Gaytor fan? We only have a few seconds left before the “change” is irreversible.
Sean: Move aside!
(Sean floats down towards the patient. Right before the last part of the patient body becomes a ****, Sean stretches out his arm and touches the top of the patient’s head, which was the last uncovered spot. Sean’s arm was stretched out as if he was intercepting a pass from Chris Rix. Immediately after Sean touched the patient’s head, his body began to clear up, the smell began to cease, and the patient appears to be back to normal!)
Nurse #1: He did it! The patient is no longer infected! Sean, has made the interception.
Doctor: (Checking the patient vital signs). Confirmed! The patient is clear of all “change” symptoms. Sean, if you can hear me. Thank you!
Patient: You saved my life!
Nurse #2: (with a huge smile on his face) F’uck!
Medium: We are forever grateful for your service to The U, Mr. Taylor! You will always be the GOAT.
(Sean begins to float back up in the air, but he is now has a Turnover Chain around his neck as he fades away through the ceiling. Ed Reed, via hologram, is looking up, nodding his head up and down, with a huge smile on his face as Sean fades away. As soon as Sean is no longer visible, Ed, still looking in the air, and with his best Denzel voice, says….)
Ed Reed: My man!
