- Joined
- Nov 3, 2011
- Messages
- 4,145
Hopefully this is still OT after Saturday, but found this funny while reading it as it matches pretty well with our board (and apparently every school's fanbase) although I would say most of theses are not just after an opening loss (and some of them are/have been correct). But tell me reading this doesn't feel like the author hung out on our message board...
Shock (6). It will be difficult to believe that months of sunny rhetoric wasn’t all true. Our guys aren’t more unified than ever; they didn’t have their best summer yet in the weight room; the player leadership of this team isn’t rock solid; the new scheme isn’t as aggressive or efficient as advertised; the touted freshman who got the fat NIL deal isn’t ready; the hero of the spring game isn’t very good in the fall; the transfer portal didn’t fix everything; the coach still can’t manage the clock; the play calling remains suspect. It’s a lot to deal with. Be gentle with yourself.
Anger (7). This stage follows quickly on the heels of shock. Because someone has to pay for your hurt feelings. The coordinators absolutely need to go, and the head coach is on notice. And if the athletic director doesn’t see the mess he has on his hands, he needs to go as well. Oh, and it goes without saying that it’s time to change starting quarterbacks and play all the true freshmen.
Conspiracy (8). The reservoir of anger is deep enough to direct the excess toward the officials and, by extension, the conference office. They are out to get us, and always have been, and everyone knows it or is living in denial. This is the time to pore over your DVR of the game to locate, freeze and photograph the myriad uncalled holding penalties on the opponent, then triumphantly post them on message boards as clear evidence that the fix was in. If you can dig up the names and home towns of everyone on the officiating crew, all the better. And by all means, post the email addresses of every conference administrator for the complaints to roll in.
Magical thinking (9). After the anger dissipates and it becomes clear that the conference office isn’t going to overturn the game result based on your blistering email listing every blown call, it’s time to find another solution. And that solution is to hire the next savior. Shoot high (of course Nick Saban would like to author his final coaching chapter at our school). Indulge nostalgia (if we hire our all-time great quarterback from the ‘90s, who has never coached, and surround him with good coordinators and recruiters, we’ll be back in no time). Think package deal (the hot-shot high school coach down the road would bring his five-star QB with him). If all else fails, start a Jon Gruden rumor.
Feigned numbness (10). This is the last resort, a defense mechanism to guard against further hurt. Declare that you’re over it. The disappointments don’t even bother you anymore. You just laugh at the three-and-outs and the busted coverages and the turnovers and the penalties. You no longer read the stories from the know-nothing media. In fact, you may not even watch the next game.
Except you will, with a slightly healed psyche and your outlook rising cautiously out of the opening-loss ashes. Because maybe the next game will be better than the last. Hope is what we bring to the stadium every Saturday, sometimes in spite of our own better judgment.
www.si.com
THE FIVE STAGES OF FAN GRIEF AFTER AN OPENING LOSS
Quality openers means a higher likelihood of opening the season with a defeat, which means more fans will encounter the cold slap of disappointment earlier. The Dash has identified the stages of grief that lie ahead for fans when all those off-season hopes and dreams come crashing down in the week ahead.Shock (6). It will be difficult to believe that months of sunny rhetoric wasn’t all true. Our guys aren’t more unified than ever; they didn’t have their best summer yet in the weight room; the player leadership of this team isn’t rock solid; the new scheme isn’t as aggressive or efficient as advertised; the touted freshman who got the fat NIL deal isn’t ready; the hero of the spring game isn’t very good in the fall; the transfer portal didn’t fix everything; the coach still can’t manage the clock; the play calling remains suspect. It’s a lot to deal with. Be gentle with yourself.
Anger (7). This stage follows quickly on the heels of shock. Because someone has to pay for your hurt feelings. The coordinators absolutely need to go, and the head coach is on notice. And if the athletic director doesn’t see the mess he has on his hands, he needs to go as well. Oh, and it goes without saying that it’s time to change starting quarterbacks and play all the true freshmen.
Conspiracy (8). The reservoir of anger is deep enough to direct the excess toward the officials and, by extension, the conference office. They are out to get us, and always have been, and everyone knows it or is living in denial. This is the time to pore over your DVR of the game to locate, freeze and photograph the myriad uncalled holding penalties on the opponent, then triumphantly post them on message boards as clear evidence that the fix was in. If you can dig up the names and home towns of everyone on the officiating crew, all the better. And by all means, post the email addresses of every conference administrator for the complaints to roll in.
Magical thinking (9). After the anger dissipates and it becomes clear that the conference office isn’t going to overturn the game result based on your blistering email listing every blown call, it’s time to find another solution. And that solution is to hire the next savior. Shoot high (of course Nick Saban would like to author his final coaching chapter at our school). Indulge nostalgia (if we hire our all-time great quarterback from the ‘90s, who has never coached, and surround him with good coordinators and recruiters, we’ll be back in no time). Think package deal (the hot-shot high school coach down the road would bring his five-star QB with him). If all else fails, start a Jon Gruden rumor.
Feigned numbness (10). This is the last resort, a defense mechanism to guard against further hurt. Declare that you’re over it. The disappointments don’t even bother you anymore. You just laugh at the three-and-outs and the busted coverages and the turnovers and the penalties. You no longer read the stories from the know-nothing media. In fact, you may not even watch the next game.
Except you will, with a slightly healed psyche and your outlook rising cautiously out of the opening-loss ashes. Because maybe the next game will be better than the last. Hope is what we bring to the stadium every Saturday, sometimes in spite of our own better judgment.
Forde-Yard Dash: Coaches Facing Critical Week 1 Tests
Several Power 5 coaches could enter the final stage of their tenure with a loss next weekend. Plus, the five stages of fan grief after an opening loss.
www.si.com
