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If you've got a belly full of leftovers, come back later. Also, remove any children from within viewing distance of your device since disgusting and revolting human Dan Penos may be too much for youths to handle.
1. After Blake the Cuck is handed a get out of jail free card by great man Mark Richt, he immediately tears it up in his face and hired a coordinator from a 6-loss team without interviewing any other candidates.
2. "All he needs is an offensive coordinator, bro!" is what we hear about Manure.
3. In between driving around on yachts and having his team tackle dummies in a wrestling ring with "7-6" signs on them, Manure promises the fans that he will run an offense similar to his defense. He says it'll be "fast, cutting-edge, exciting, modern, and will put stress on opposing defenses."
4. Manure takes quite a while to hire his OC. He's smugly answering questions about it in interviews, and telling reporters "no one will remember how long it took asth long asth we get the right guy."
5. Spoiler alert: he hires the wrong guy.
6. He does his usual Manure act: talks tough, acts flashy, fails to deliver. Do we see a modern college offense? No. He hired a journeyman coach with one decent offensive output season to his name in 8 attempts.
7. Not only that, he hires a guy who is the complete opposite of what he promised fans and claimed to want in an OC. Instead of a spread out, high-flying, fast-paced offense, he holds a seance and tosses into the fire pictures of Bill Parcells and Bret Belima to summon the most boring offense a boomer can muster.
8. Miami, with its stockpile of talented skill position players and a young OL, spends the first half of season with 2 TEs on the field; Jarren under center; slow developing play action passes; and play clocks routinely being run down to :01. Welcome to 1995 offense, boys.
9. Manure not only lied about the offense he wanted, he cucked himself by coughing up $1.5 million dollars to a guy who's never once in his career had the type of offensive output to warrant that compensation.
10. The majority of our fans once again side with any hire or move by the staff, and assured us we got a real steal and stuck it to Saban, so Penos HAD to be good.
11. What does Penos do here? He does what he's done his entire career: produce an offense that was an abject disaster.
12. Penos, based on the numbers I can find (anyone with different info feel free to correct this) is paid as a top 7 coordinator in college football this season.
13. What does $1.5 million get you? Vs FBS teams, Penos was:
• 88th in scoring offense
• 100th in total offense
• 130th (dead last) in 3rd down conversions
• 127th in sacks allowed
• 107th in redzone TD%
14. Miami entered the spring with three, 4-star QBs on the depth chart. Two of which were Elite 11 guys.
15. Penos produced nearly identical stats to Jon Richt's in 2018 (minus 3rd down conversions, where he plummeted 70 spots into dead last, and red zone TD %, where he fell about 60 spots)
16. That 2018 offense was what made UM tell Mark he had to fire his son, and ultimately ended Mark Richt's career.
All in all, a pretty horrendous and incompetent calendar year for Manure on the offensive side of the ball.
• He lied about the type of offense he wanted
• He hired an absolute philosophical dinosaur at OC
• He paid a Bentley price for electric scooter results
• He passed on other candidates who all out performed his choice
There is not a single universe where Penos should return. He's overpaid and his philosophy will never work at UM (and based on his track record, anywhere really for him).
But herein lies the problem. Manure is an imbecile. A fake smart guy. You might see a terrible offense looking at you right in the eyes, but he sees "growth" or an offense that "had a chance to win every game."
By every available metric, the rational decision is to part ways with Penos and send him back to some hellhole city in the MAC via a catapult. However, Manure's quotes about the offense are worrisome, as he continues to make Golden-levels of excuses.
Manure is not the guy to lead Miami to a title, but if he keeps Penos in 2020 his time at his dream job will come to an end considerably shorter.
Guess it's time to see how "savage" and "ruthless" he is when it comes to making common sense staff decisions.
1. After Blake the Cuck is handed a get out of jail free card by great man Mark Richt, he immediately tears it up in his face and hired a coordinator from a 6-loss team without interviewing any other candidates.
2. "All he needs is an offensive coordinator, bro!" is what we hear about Manure.
3. In between driving around on yachts and having his team tackle dummies in a wrestling ring with "7-6" signs on them, Manure promises the fans that he will run an offense similar to his defense. He says it'll be "fast, cutting-edge, exciting, modern, and will put stress on opposing defenses."
4. Manure takes quite a while to hire his OC. He's smugly answering questions about it in interviews, and telling reporters "no one will remember how long it took asth long asth we get the right guy."
5. Spoiler alert: he hires the wrong guy.
6. He does his usual Manure act: talks tough, acts flashy, fails to deliver. Do we see a modern college offense? No. He hired a journeyman coach with one decent offensive output season to his name in 8 attempts.
7. Not only that, he hires a guy who is the complete opposite of what he promised fans and claimed to want in an OC. Instead of a spread out, high-flying, fast-paced offense, he holds a seance and tosses into the fire pictures of Bill Parcells and Bret Belima to summon the most boring offense a boomer can muster.
8. Miami, with its stockpile of talented skill position players and a young OL, spends the first half of season with 2 TEs on the field; Jarren under center; slow developing play action passes; and play clocks routinely being run down to :01. Welcome to 1995 offense, boys.
9. Manure not only lied about the offense he wanted, he cucked himself by coughing up $1.5 million dollars to a guy who's never once in his career had the type of offensive output to warrant that compensation.
10. The majority of our fans once again side with any hire or move by the staff, and assured us we got a real steal and stuck it to Saban, so Penos HAD to be good.
11. What does Penos do here? He does what he's done his entire career: produce an offense that was an abject disaster.
12. Penos, based on the numbers I can find (anyone with different info feel free to correct this) is paid as a top 7 coordinator in college football this season.
13. What does $1.5 million get you? Vs FBS teams, Penos was:
• 88th in scoring offense
• 100th in total offense
• 130th (dead last) in 3rd down conversions
• 127th in sacks allowed
• 107th in redzone TD%
14. Miami entered the spring with three, 4-star QBs on the depth chart. Two of which were Elite 11 guys.
15. Penos produced nearly identical stats to Jon Richt's in 2018 (minus 3rd down conversions, where he plummeted 70 spots into dead last, and red zone TD %, where he fell about 60 spots)
16. That 2018 offense was what made UM tell Mark he had to fire his son, and ultimately ended Mark Richt's career.
All in all, a pretty horrendous and incompetent calendar year for Manure on the offensive side of the ball.
• He lied about the type of offense he wanted
• He hired an absolute philosophical dinosaur at OC
• He paid a Bentley price for electric scooter results
• He passed on other candidates who all out performed his choice
There is not a single universe where Penos should return. He's overpaid and his philosophy will never work at UM (and based on his track record, anywhere really for him).
But herein lies the problem. Manure is an imbecile. A fake smart guy. You might see a terrible offense looking at you right in the eyes, but he sees "growth" or an offense that "had a chance to win every game."
By every available metric, the rational decision is to part ways with Penos and send him back to some hellhole city in the MAC via a catapult. However, Manure's quotes about the offense are worrisome, as he continues to make Golden-levels of excuses.
Manure is not the guy to lead Miami to a title, but if he keeps Penos in 2020 his time at his dream job will come to an end considerably shorter.
Guess it's time to see how "savage" and "ruthless" he is when it comes to making common sense staff decisions.
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