X's and O's RATE THE CIS MELTDOWN: Swamp Edition

[Empirical Cane]

SCALE:

1 - Tears begin to well up in eyes, but keep brave face
2 - You start to side-eye everyone in room and state repeatedly, "seriously con esta mierda, meng!!!"
3 - You smash the remote with your mobile phone and then wonder why neither now works
4 - You scream, "Why does the bull**** always happen TO ME!!?"
5 - You begin to openly sob while your abuela comforts you like she did when your were a child
6 - You throw a kitten/puppy at the TV and you begin Googling, "Top 5 Miami Hurricanes HC candidates"
7 - You burn your mint 80s Miami Starter Cap and Jacket in BBQ, "**** this **** meng"
8 - You begin Googling, "How to be a fan of an SEC/B1G Team"
9 - Fraggle's porsts start to make sense--ALOT of sense
10 - Lying catanic, curled up in a ball in your torn tighty-whities, snack wrappers and food stains smeared all over you, barely the strength to mutter over and over, "**** my life" as your drool and convulse like jello


On a scale of 1 - 10, rate the CIS MELTDOWN on 31 Aug if/when (my scores listed):

- Gators win coin toss (4)
- Gators gain 1yd+ on ground (2)
- Gators complete pass (2)
- Gators QB scrambles for positive gain (2)
- Gators get a first down (3)
- Gators advance past 50 yd line (4)
- Gators advance into red zone (5)
- Gators score FG (4)
- Gators score TD (7)
- Hurricanes miss a tackle (3)
- Hurricanes offsides (4)
- Hurricanes pass interference (4)
- Hurricanes personal foul (4)
- Hurricanes KR doesn't take it to the house (3)
- Hurricanes PR doesn't take it to the house (3)
- Hurricanes PR fumbles the ball (9)
- Hurricanes RB doesn't break each run for 10+ yds each touch (3)
- Hurricanes WR doesn't make circus catch, then break it for 20+ YAC (3)
- Hurricanes tackled behind LOS (7)
- Hurricanes allow a sack (7)
- Hurricanes false start (4)
- Hurricanes incomplete a pass (3)
- Hurricanes fumble (7)
- Hurricanes throw interception (7)
- Hurricanes burn all timeouts by start of 2Q (6)
- Hurricanes have all timeouts end of 2Q (8)
- Hurricanes burn all timeouts by start of 3Q (6)
- Hurricanes have all timeouts end of 4Q (9)
- Hurricanes only win by 3-10 points (6)
- Hurricanes take a knee to end game (10)
- Hurricanes do not take a knee to end game (1)
- IF Hurricanes leave Swamp with an L (10)*


*Will not happen...will it?

 

[JD08]

You might want to remove that last one. For one thing, let's not put that out in the universe. For another, it'll never happen.

 

[301cane]

I don't even care about the prop bets too much, as long as we win handily and have no key injuries.

Don't even think losing would cause me a meltdown anymore, just more of a resigned **** it I'm over and done with this **** for good and all

 

[Page305]

Yeah this one of those bad juju threads. I hope no one participates

 

[TheEye]

SCALE:

1 - Tears begin to well up in eyes, but keep brave face
2 - You start to side-eye everyone in room and state repeatedly, "seriously con esta mierda, meng!!!"
3 - You smash the remote with your mobile phone and then wonder why neither now works
4 - You scream, "Why does the bull**** always happen TO ME!!?"
5 - You begin to openly sob while your abuela comforts you like she did when your were a child
6 - You throw a kitten/puppy at the TV and you begin Googling, "Top 5 Miami Hurricanes HC candidates"
7 - You burn your mint 80s Miami Starter Cap and Jacket in BBQ, "**** this **** meng"
8 - You begin Googling, "How to be a fan of an SEC/B1G Team"
9 - Fraggle's porsts start to make sense--ALOT of sense
10 - Lying catanic, curled up in a ball in your torn tighty-whities, snack wrappers and food stains smeared all over you, barely the strength to mutter over and over, "**** my life" as your drool and convulse like jello


On a scale of 1 - 10, rate the CIS MELTDOWN on 31 Aug if/when (my scores listed):

- Gators win coin toss (4)
- Gators gain 1yd+ on ground (2)
- Gators complete pass (2)
- Gators QB scrambles for positive gain (2)
- Gators get a first down (3)
- Gators advance past 50 yd line (4)
- Gators advance into red zone (5)
- Gators score FG (4)
- Gators score TD (7)
- Hurricanes miss a tackle (3)
- Hurricanes offsides (4)
- Hurricanes pass interference (4)
- Hurricanes personal foul (4)
- Hurricanes KR doesn't take it to the house (3)
- Hurricanes PR doesn't take it to the house (3)
- Hurricanes PR fumbles the ball (9)
- Hurricanes RB doesn't break each run for 10+ yds each touch (3)
- Hurricanes WR doesn't make circus catch, then break it for 20+ YAC (3)
- Hurricanes tackled behind LOS (7)
- Hurricanes allow a sack (7)
- Hurricanes false start (4)
- Hurricanes incomplete a pass (3)
- Hurricanes fumble (7)
- Hurricanes throw interception (7)
- Hurricanes burn all timeouts by start of 2Q (6)
- Hurricanes have all timeouts end of 2Q (8)
- Hurricanes burn all timeouts by start of 3Q (6)
- Hurricanes have all timeouts end of 4Q (9)
- Hurricanes only win by 3-10 points (6)
- Hurricanes take a knee to end game (10)
- Hurricanes do not take a knee to end game (1)
- Hurricanes leave Swamp with an L (10)

Spoiler alert. Now I don’t have to watch!

 

[Empirical Cane]

You might want to remove that last one. For one thing, let's not put that out in the universe. For another, it'll never happen.

Revised

 

[NZ Cane]

3, 3, 3, 6...8, 9...9...9...9.

4.

 

[Empirical Cane]

3, 3, 3, 6...8, 9...9...9...9.

4.

You da MAN

 

[FuriousStyles]

- Hurricanes do not take a knee to end game, then allows them to drive 30-40 yds down field **** near uncontested to give up a TD for the Gates to win the game ( I won’t be in a good place)

 

[Elmer Leghorn]

I might pistol whip my neighbor if we lose.

 

[Memnon]

I might pistol whip my neighbor if we lose.

You should do that even if we win.

 

[Elmer Leghorn]

You should do that even if we win.

Good call

 

[BigDikDaddyFromCincinnati]

And after we issue a serious beat down…?

We fuccin.