Official Calico confession thread: to be posted at the minimum on July 17

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as my time to repent and ask for forgiveness is approaching, can i please please know what i did to merit my this ****-hole? i cannot ask for forgiveness without knowing my sins. this is a trap out of which i cannot crawl
 
1. On the 17th figure it out.
2. Otherwise, while in here: eat my *****. That will help
your chances.
Oh My Reaction GIF by Saturday Night Live
 
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again, i don't know what rule i violated, but i am repentent, and sincerely contrite. i ask that you release me from this ****-hole and i promise, as you instructed me, to eat your fine *****. just make sure it is clean, not roast beef-ish, well shaved and smooth. a little bit of musk is a good thing. if you survive that first step, i will fill the vacuum in your womb which every good womb needs after a good eating.


how did i do?
 
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again, i don't know what rule i violated, but i am repentent, and sincerely contrite. i ask that you release me from this ****-hole and i promise, as you instructed me, to eat your fine *****. just make sure it is clean, not roast beef-ish, well shaved and smooth. a little bit of musk is a good thing. if you survive that first step, i will fill the vacuum in your womb which every good womb needs after a good eating.


how did i do?

Among all posters who have resided in the history of purgatory, you are the most boring.
 
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