It's not a google translate; straight BDDaddy translate. I'm a guerro practicing Spanish for 35 years. About 25 in Miami and the rest in LA. There are some real differences in Miami Cuban Spanish meng versus LA Mexican spanish vato. Por ejemplo, aqui los mexicanos dicen pan con verga, pero en miami es pan con pinga. I work with loads of Mexicans who've taught me about 45 different ways to say ******** (ever heard of chiquis striquis?) but 0 ways say other, more refined things. As a result, my white boy brain sometimes gets stuck between black beans and rice and pinto beans with rice.
If you're offended, I'm not apologizing because I was making fun of myself, not anyone of Latin descent. Plus I think you're smart enough to pick up what I'm putting down.