UMFarArcher
All-ACC
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2011
- Messages
- 16,217
Five minutes before kickoff, Manny will address the team:
"Gentlemen, Alabama has four platoons of pure analysts - emphasis on "anal." They've been honing their algorythms - for the past six months just for UM. One platoon has been camped at the Frontera SuperComputer, one platoon on the Selene, one platoon on the Sierra at Livermore, and one platoon on the Summit at Oak Ridge.
"They can predict everything we will do - every formation - every tendency - and have logged every "tell."
"So we're going to crap up their game plan in the first half - "what we're expected to do - we won't - and what we're not expected to do - we will."
"Offensive Linemen - stand up. Raise your hand if you can keep your opposite off the QB for three full seconds - One-One-Thousand, Two-One-Thousand, Three-One-Thousand!"
"Great! Have a seat! Receivers - stand up! How many of you can absolutely, positively put on your best fakes and get open within those first two seconds? Great! Have a seat!"
"They've keyed in on our starters. Our unknown is our younger players - so we'll be starting our younger players. Here's how it will work:"
"Jake, you're starting - and you are going to sling that football all over the field - I want to see an aerial circus out there. Something they won't expect. Something they're unprepared for. Something that will confuse them, and we're going to score, and score, and score. Make good decisions - but make them fast!"
"At halftime, they're going to be as confused as a newborn in a tiddy bar. They'll be scrambling to change up everything on defense. That's when King and our fresh horses will trot out to finish them off during the second half."
"DB's - get ready to catch some interceptions - they'll be trying to sling it to catch up - and you pass rushers will force him to make bad throws."
"I want everyone to go out, don't save nothing - have fun and beat your one man every time. If everyone does this - we're going to knock the shine off Alabama just like we knocked the shine of off Notre Dame a short while back.'
"Let's just give them the good-old-fashioned-country-***-whipping they're overdue for."
"Gentlemen, Alabama has four platoons of pure analysts - emphasis on "anal." They've been honing their algorythms - for the past six months just for UM. One platoon has been camped at the Frontera SuperComputer, one platoon on the Selene, one platoon on the Sierra at Livermore, and one platoon on the Summit at Oak Ridge.
"They can predict everything we will do - every formation - every tendency - and have logged every "tell."
"So we're going to crap up their game plan in the first half - "what we're expected to do - we won't - and what we're not expected to do - we will."
"Offensive Linemen - stand up. Raise your hand if you can keep your opposite off the QB for three full seconds - One-One-Thousand, Two-One-Thousand, Three-One-Thousand!"
"Great! Have a seat! Receivers - stand up! How many of you can absolutely, positively put on your best fakes and get open within those first two seconds? Great! Have a seat!"
"They've keyed in on our starters. Our unknown is our younger players - so we'll be starting our younger players. Here's how it will work:"
"Jake, you're starting - and you are going to sling that football all over the field - I want to see an aerial circus out there. Something they won't expect. Something they're unprepared for. Something that will confuse them, and we're going to score, and score, and score. Make good decisions - but make them fast!"
"At halftime, they're going to be as confused as a newborn in a tiddy bar. They'll be scrambling to change up everything on defense. That's when King and our fresh horses will trot out to finish them off during the second half."
"DB's - get ready to catch some interceptions - they'll be trying to sling it to catch up - and you pass rushers will force him to make bad throws."
"I want everyone to go out, don't save nothing - have fun and beat your one man every time. If everyone does this - we're going to knock the shine off Alabama just like we knocked the shine of off Notre Dame a short while back.'
"Let's just give them the good-old-fashioned-country-***-whipping they're overdue for."
.....Wait 
....WUT??
