Off-Topic Keyser Soze - A Primer from the Old Days


Nov 24, 2018
For those that might remember, there was an epic user named GhostOfCaneOfWhupAss that had an amazing philosophy on how to date and break up based on Keyser Soze from Usual Suspects. I made sure to save it, and I think its time to bring it back. See below:

Disappearing without a trace. No calls, no emails, no IM's - nothing. One day the woman thinks she and you are a couple, and the next day you are nothing more than a *** stain on her carpet."

-- Anonymous

Testimonial #1:

I've pulled about 10 Keyser Soza's for different reasons, and they have a 100% success rate. In 5 out of the 10 I pulled them for power try and break a woman who thought they couldn't be broken. In the other 5 scenarios, they wanted out of the relationship because they weren't feeling me anymore, or as in a couple of cases, I got caught cheating. I don't care how mentally tough a woman you've been dealing with happens to be, if she had a shred of care in her heart for you, if you stay in Keyser Soza mode long enough, she'll crack everytime. The WORST thing a guy can do is ask questions, ask for closure, seek understanding, try to come back, and in some cases ask for forgiveness (only for the most ruthless of sorts).

If a woman wants to leave, let her...don't question her - don't ask why. And if she tries to tell you why, cut her off mid-sentence and don't let her finish - never flinching, never raising your voice - acting and speaking in a calm demeanor. Hug her on your way out, or kiss her on the cheek, and then walk away. Walk directly to the black Jaguar, cigarette in hand, as Kobiyashi circles the block. If you're going to walk away from the relationship - do closure.

But the key is, if you're going to pull a have to go all the way.


Testimonial #2:

What does it mean to "Soze" a woman? First, you must understand the concept of Keyser Soze, and what gives him his power. He's ruthless - almost without soul - and noncaring about the feelings of others. When he disapears from the scene, he's gone forever - like the boogie man - a spook, with only the carnage left in his wake . When it comes to a woman, pulling a Soze is disappearing from the scene forever - never allowing her to have closure from a relationship. This works whether you wronged her or she wrong you, because the human mind, especially he female mind, needs closure, or an understanding of what transpired in order to move on.

The philosophy preaches that, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, the other partner in the recently ended relationship will always seek some sort of closure. Closure is a coping mechanism, and it's a quasi grieving process that allows one to ween him/herself of a person from an emotional standpoint. Pulling a Soze doesn't allow the other person to properly grieve or cope with the sudden loss, which means her soul will remain restless. Now of course, one must understand in principle that, he who loves the least controls the relationship, and he who leaves the relationship first leaves with the most power, so if you take that into account, pulling a Soza when you are the dumper, can drive a woman raving mad, and if you are the dumpee, pulling a Soze will cause her to second guess her actions.

This philosophy hold true, because no sane man/woman would disappear from the scene without seeking closure, or asking her "why". So by going against what the average mind deems sane, when send the other person in flux - they seek answers, and beging to question everything. By not seeking closure, by not asking her why things ended, or not seeking to return to the nestles of her bosom, you send her a subconscious message that says, in essence: I never loved you enough to care about losing you; I found someone else better BEFORE you decided to leave, and I'm as happy as a pig wallowing in mud (wounding the dumper or dumpee subconciously), or both in succession, which sends the dumpee or the dumper to the depths of insanity.

So in essence, pulling a Soze gives you more power than you had if you are the sumper, or if you are the dumpee, it allows you to snatch the power with her being the wiser. And if you pull a Soza and stay underground long enough, the dumper will toil in misery for as long as you stay underground - which should be forever. No closure, ever. It's the most ruthless maneuver you can bestow upon a woman.