Empirical Cane
We are what we repeatedly do.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2018
- Messages
- 45,122
Porsters...
You stand here today, not just as message board soldiers, but as guardians of bat **** crazy hot takes, protectors of the unhinged, and defenders of a playoff future that depends on your courage. This battle is not just a test of strength; it’s a test of will, of character, and our CIS porsterhood. When you drive to Hard Rock Stadium into the fray, know that you carry with you the hopes of those who cannot attend for themselves--because it’s “too far”, traffic sucks, and they are still complaining about no on-campus stadium. You stand ready to be in the stands to cheer on and fight for our Orange and Green, unless of course you are a peasant who parks in the Blue Lot where @Cover 3 regulates and already put to sleep several people who got a little to wise for their own good. Your bravery is their shield, your resolve is their hope that our Miami Hurricanes will not squander yet another off-season of hype and spill the kool-aid we have been chugging.
Remember, CIS does not define you--you’re porsts, you're
inside sauces, you’re crazy hot takes ARE YOU! In the midst of chaos, it’s easy to forget what we’re fans of. But look around. Look at the porster beside you. You porst for each other, for your families, for the values that make us who we are as the long-suffering Miami Hurricanes Nation. Every thread by @fraggle you read is a step towards a world where those values can flourish in the glow of the natty our Miami Hurricanes deserve because we once had a binder that said so.
Porsting is not the absence of intelligent thought, but the magnificent display of it. Fraggle puts on a weekly masterclass for us to bask in that glory. Each of you feels the need to contribute, as any porster does. But what sets you apart is your ability to rise above it all, to stand tall even when the world around you seems to be saying, “hey, wait a minute here, maybe you should push back from the keyboard and take a break huh!?”. You are legend with the ability to be on a pre-season hype train one minute, then scrolling a list of head corching candidate replacements the next, because of a missed tackle or false start penalty.
You’ve trained for this moment. You’ve bled, sweat, and sacrificed more than most people can imagine. That training, that sacrifice, is not in vain. It has forged you into a weapon, not of destruction, but of pure message board genius. You are the tip of the spear that will pierce the rational, the force that will turn any tidbit or wishful thinking into cold hard FACTS!
But remember, you do not porst alone. CIS stands with you, shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart. When the noise and fury of conference realignment surrounds us, when we’re pushed to the very edge of the Big XII or even the Sunbelt or Mountain West, it is the knowledge that you are not alone that will give you the strength to carry on when the Fresno State Bulldogs roll into Hard Rock for a Home and Home in 2027.
You are porsting history with your actions, and the legacy you leave will inspire Canes Nation for generations to come. Porst with honor, porst with courage, and porst with tuff fyzicality and with the knowledge that you are on the right side of history.
Today, you are more than just porsters—you are keyboard warriors! And when the dust settles, the world will know that you were here, that you stood firm, that you gave everything for the cause of Hecht and that we should just sue the **** out of the ACC and demand x2 share payments from the B1G because WE ARE MIAMI! Let that knowledge fuel your spirit, let it drive you forward, and let it be the light that guides you through the darkest of hours when there is 1:17 on the clock in 4Q, it’s 1st and 10, our Canes are up by 1 on our own 3yd line, the opponent has no timeouts left, and Saint Cristobol is calling halfback dives into the teeth of a rabid DL desperate to strip the ball and referees never willing to call down by contact.
Stand tall, porst hard, and return victorious. The world is watching, and you will not let them down. Kneeling is for pussies!
It's time Canes Nation.
Let's ******* Go!
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