Honey do list OMG

[reg]

***k U!

Stop bragging reg! LOL

LMAO. The married men that I know (family and friends) all say the same thing to me. We can all be just hanging out and if one of them mention any type of an issue with their wife, they will all empathize and share the pain. After their moment of solidarity, one of them will look at me and say, "F'uck you, Reg" or "Reg, you ain't s'hit!" Its like clockwork. It happens everytime. Lol

 

[Heart of The Playmaker]

**** I have to admit that I am super lucky compared to all these posts that I've read and even amongst some friends of mine.
My wife is pretty friggin awesome...too good for me bc I am a motherfvcker. I said...well this is probably my last chance to have a good woman.
She loves to do things as a couple or family. I take care of things but she hardly ever stresses me about it.
I trust her because she was with me when I didnt have 2 nickels to rub together. Now she is reaping the benefits and I even helped and encouraged her to get her Bachelors and Masters Degree.
Her friends think I am the best hubby ever and she is always bragging...
But she knows Im a crazy fvck and she tells me she always knew. Lol

 

[DualThreat]

Post of the Year candidate. This man deserves to be nominated to the CiS Hall of Fame just off of this one post. I’m crying manly tears of pride.

I second this. Absolute gold

 

[TwoZeroEReedBoi]

My brother....beware of being hustled...real talk

Thanks for the advice big Mike. You aren't the first person to tell me that, a bunch of my friends and family tell me the same thing. Its a hard decision because I love her so much. I wish I had mord time to think about it but she can't get her Visa extended. Love is crazy man!

 

[TerragonSix]

One of the funniest honey-do stories I've heard came from my college American History teacher. Hes a big college basketball fan, and his wife was insisting he patch the roof up.

So, he went up there with a cooler of beer and a radio, and while he was listening to the game drinking beer, he would occasionally tap the roof with a hammer as if he was working.

Legend.

 

[surfcane]

Thanks for the advice big Mike. You aren't the first person to tell me that, a bunch of my friends and family tell me the same thing. Its a hard decision because I love her so much. I wish I had mord time to think about it but she can't get her Visa extended. Love is crazy man!

Many not all women change once that contract is signed - make sure you live together for at least a year to get a better feel but even that is not always enough (living together but each of you with your own place does not count)

 

[MiamiChris]

You're a good man... life's not easy and you've managed to keep things under control.
I'm a part time Realtor so if you want your wife to watch games with you just PM me with the client's phones and I'll try to help.

don’t worry she hates football which works out because she went to Florida so her not caring about anything Florida related. She’s out in the real estate world hustle so we can build things like pools

 

[MiamiChris]

Mistake #1 was sitting in the sofa on an early Saturday morning.
If there is one thing wives hate is to see your *** nice and comfy watching sports center on a Saturday morning. Drives them bat sht crazy off the wall.
Wake up and pretend to do some sht. Put some caulk in a make believe crack.
Pretend to tighten some hose under the sink that was “leaking”.
Change a non dirty ac filter. Or pretend that your changing it.
Wash some imaginary bird sht that you saw on her windshield.
You can do all of these things like in half an hour.
Ask her if she can make some pancakes cause “babe your pancakes are the bomb”
While washing the windshield checkl her tire pressure cause safety first.
Spray some water on your face. Go back in and say wooo it’s scorching out there.
Commence to sit your *** on the sofa and watch the highlits of the rockets golden state while scrolling through gator tears then eat some pancakes and eggs.

This this this this

 

[UMFarArcher]

So this ain't a picture of you...

Yeah.

And he's DEAD.

 

[UMFarArcher]

No problem here.... I'm fine

To each his own....so no need to get upset..... just because I'm not going to try your home remedy.......I'm sure maybe someone else might bite when their life is at risk....just not me......unless i have absolutely NO choice


View attachment 85222

I'm just not into paying these little fellas to follow me around into the woods and everywhere else ......just in case I get bit again.

Its just kinda awkward

Anyway, that short ambulance ride in A/C comfort worked fine for me. No tissue loss, no fuss, no mess

Plus my HMO gives me plenty of hospital choices.

Have fun "sparking"my man

You don't have to take a lawnmower with you. You got on site - somehow. Maybe a car? Truck? They have ignition wires, too.

So - you'll always have a short ambulance ride. You sure? No tissue loss? You sure?

If you are, demand that they immediately push 50ml of Vitamin C into your vein. And I mean - push it! Same result - no tissue loss, and you'll be fine 30 minutes after pushing it into your vein. Clean the wound and bandage it. You're done.

In fact - after that 50ml push - one can eat a few "poison" mushrooms without effect. And here's a secret - the sparking and Vitamin C IV push - both work on the same principle. Gee. What do they have in common?

When you're in remote areas - and have been for extended periods of time with other cultures - cultures that don't have the AMA and FDA to keep everyone stupid - you'd be amazed at how crapped up our working knowledge is, and how simple some things can be.

You have chemo scheduled? 72 hours prior to chemo - go on a water-only fast. You'll not suffer the negative effects of chemo - as your healthy cells just went into a hard, self-protective mode.

Or feel like **** for days, nauseous, and start withering away. Chemo is a poison - plain and simple. They want to kill cells in you - and it just happens that cancer cells are weaker than healthy cells - so they hope to kill off more weaker cells than the poison kills off healthy cells. What a load of ****.

Oh! And after that three day water fast? You get a brand new immune system - to replace the one the chemo helped kill off.

 

[1mg of Epi]

You get bit by a venomous snake - (the coral is a neurotoxin - bad news) - you can do what licensed medical practitioners recommend - and lose tissue or worser - (yes, that's a word) - and that debridement of dead tissue will occur over days and even weeks. THEN you have to recover the lost tissue.

OR. Or, you can neutralize the venom in just a few seconds. Take a spark plug wire off a gas engine, put it on the bite site, and you then take at least six pops - it's unpleasant - but then it's over.

It works. Snake venom, Black Widow venom, Brown Recluse venom - doesn't matter.

I go out in snake country - I rigged a five-foot insulated wire to an alligator clip on one end - and an insulated test probe on the other. And yes, I've successfully used it - unbelievably - the pain was gone in less than three minutes. Wash the bite site, apply a bandage, and you're done - and can finish your day without further interruption.

It's biophysics. Not medicine. Oh - you do that and THEN go to a doctor - DO NOT let them give you antivenom - now they're injecting venom in you to counter something that's been neutralized already. It's akin to getting bit all over again.

The smaller lawnmowers for example - still have about a 20K volt discharge. Don't use a high voltage (100K or more stun gun) as you'll burn your own tissue. Just a spark plug wire off a lawnmower, ATV, motorcycle, tractor, weed eater, boat motor - you get the idea.

You can't verify this by testing it on rats - with a 100,000 volt discharge.

It works. And you have nothing to lose by trying it. Unless you have a PaceMaker. But you don't want to try this - you'll later wish you did.

What’s wrong w anti venom?

 

[UMFarArcher]

What’s wrong w anti venom?

If you've just neutralized the previous toxin - you don't want to add a new dose.

 

[deleted19096]

Oh yeah, definitely. "Red touches black, friend of Jack; red touches yellow, kill a fellow". That's a killer for sure!

Man, I just leave snakes the fxck alone.

 

[1mg of Epi]

If you've just neutralized the previous toxin - you don't want to add a new dose.

OK, So you’re just saying not to double up...

 

[SWFLHurricane]

Sounds like the coolest experience...
It never crossed my mind to do that as a hobby. I appreciate Florida culture...

I’ve been bit by a brown recluse as well. It’s pretty nasty what those things can do.

They ulcerate...my buddy got bit by one....No fun...

 

[SWFLHurricane]

I am very fortunate when it comes to the way my wife thinks. All the married men in my family and all of my married friends are jealous as f'uck. Lol

She is old school in her thinking, and by old school, I mean, very old school. She was raised to believe that a man takes care of the bills and the woman takes care of EVERYTHING else. We've been married for 14 years, and I am still trying to get her to think differently, but it is instilled so deep in her, until it's nearly impossible to change her ways.

She gets offended if I try to make my own plate for dinner. I've seen her aunt's cuss her out because my drink was low at dinner. The other day, I was vacuuming the floor. She walked in the house and was offended, because in her mind, I was doing "her job"

I honestly could not tell you how to work our washer/dryer because she would lose her mind if she saw me washing my own clothes.

It's weird for me, because I was raised to do all of these things myself. My mother is a very independent woman and raised me to be able to do everything myself (cook, clean, build, etc...) I've been doing all of that since I was 10 years old. So, imagine how odd it was for me when I got married all of that changed. It literally took me about 4 years into my marriage before I was able to convince my wife to at least let me take care of everything that was outside of the walls of our home (yard, cars, roof, etc..). One day, one of her Aunts popped up at our house unannounced. She saw me mowing the lawn and almost had a heart attack. I explained to her that things were going to be different at my home moving forward. They called a family meeting on my ***, saying that my wife was being lazy and I was allowing her to be lazy by doing her chores like mowing the lawn. Lol

Over the past few years, we've compromised to the point where now I cook 3 times a week and take care of everything outside of the walls of our home. The compromise is killing her. Lol. My wife is under 40 years old, but you would think she was raised in the 40's and 50's during the "take care of your man" era!

@reg I so wanted to invite you and the fam over after the Spring game...GF had to work until 6...hopefully next time Bro...

 

[MainLineCane]

You don't have to take a lawnmower with you. You got on site - somehow. Maybe a car? Truck? They have ignition wires, too.

So - you'll always have a short ambulance ride. You sure? No tissue loss? You sure?

If you are, demand that they immediately push 50ml of Vitamin C into your vein. And I mean - push it! Same result - no tissue loss, and you'll be fine 30 minutes after pushing it into your vein. Clean the wound and bandage it. You're done.

In fact - after that 50ml push - one can eat a few "poison" mushrooms without effect. And here's a secret - the sparking and Vitamin C IV push - both work on the same principle. Gee. What do they have in common?

When you're in remote areas - and have been for extended periods of time with other cultures - cultures that don't have the AMA and FDA to keep everyone stupid - you'd be amazed at how crapped up our working knowledge is, and how simple some things can be.

You have chemo scheduled? 72 hours prior to chemo - go on a water-only fast. You'll not suffer the negative effects of chemo - as your healthy cells just went into a hard, self-protective mode.

Or feel like **** for days, nauseous, and start withering away. Chemo is a poison - plain and simple. They want to kill cells in you - and it just happens that cancer cells are weaker than healthy cells - so they hope to kill off more weaker cells than the poison kills off healthy cells. What a load of ****.

Oh! And after that three day water fast? You get a brand new immune system - to replace the one the chemo helped kill off.

I'm just F'ing with you man. Chill out.

I have no idea whether your "cure" will work or not....just saying It won't be my first resort that's all ok.

Maybe If I didn't have insurance ...Hmmmm...no still probably not

To each their own my friend.

Lets just hope neither of us gets bit again. Have a good one

 

[Heart of The Playmaker]

You don't have to take a lawnmower with you. You got on site - somehow. Maybe a car? Truck? They have ignition wires, too.

So - you'll always have a short ambulance ride. You sure? No tissue loss? You sure?

If you are, demand that they immediately push 50ml of Vitamin C into your vein. And I mean - push it! Same result - no tissue loss, and you'll be fine 30 minutes after pushing it into your vein. Clean the wound and bandage it. You're done.

In fact - after that 50ml push - one can eat a few "poison" mushrooms without effect. And here's a secret - the sparking and Vitamin C IV push - both work on the same principle. Gee. What do they have in common?

When you're in remote areas - and have been for extended periods of time with other cultures - cultures that don't have the AMA and FDA to keep everyone stupid - you'd be amazed at how crapped up our working knowledge is, and how simple some things can be.

You have chemo scheduled? 72 hours prior to chemo - go on a water-only fast. You'll not suffer the negative effects of chemo - as your healthy cells just went into a hard, self-protective mode.

Or feel like **** for days, nauseous, and start withering away. Chemo is a poison - plain and simple. They want to kill cells in you - and it just happens that cancer cells are weaker than healthy cells - so they hope to kill off more weaker cells than the poison kills off healthy cells. What a load of ****.

Oh! And after that three day water fast? You get a brand new immune system - to replace the one the chemo helped kill off.

I agree with this. This was also told to me by a physician from Spain while I was doing clinicals in Oncology.

 

[paksat]

Latina?!

Runnnn!

fixed that for you

btw I've had a few chats with a half mexican half russian chick

honestly scares the fcking **** out of me just thinking about the mood swings that thing is capable of

think i'll stick to italians

 

[TreOFive]

Good god, you are a true genius!

Only thing missing from that scenario is some throat and some ***. Aside from that....good job and it describes my usual Saturday morning