Off-Topic Holiday Parties

[Okefenokee Cane]

Well fellers an ladies, tonite iz da big nite fer da Okefenokee Cane family Christmas hoedown. Any of y’all in da grater Nahunta/Blackshear area are welcome ta drop by fer sum postum stew, grilled gator tail, crayfish frickasee an whitetail liver. Oooh Weeee sun my mouf waterin ahreddy. I’m awlso cookin a pig in da ground. Plinty a beer on ice an 6 corts a South Georgia clear. Pikchurs ta come! Wat da rest a y’all doin?

 

[Felonious Monk]

I wokes up Monday morn by yur fire pit. Don’t member much about the hoe down.

Were your pants still buttoned? Are you still able to sit comfortably?

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

Well boys da boots was a stompin sonday nite at Okee’s crib. I gotta tell y’all da ladies was smokin an da vittles slapped!

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

I wokes up Monday morn by yur fire pit. Don’t member much about the hoe down.

Dam sun wuz inniebuddy wit u?

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

Becky Sue was on one side and Sherry Lynn was on the utter.

Dem’s big girls but I no dey git ta lookin purty gud round bout midnite! Dat’s better then wat I seen Monday mornin- Skeet spoonin wit Granny Hawkins in my shed. I’m still havin flashbacks.

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

Y yu half tu tell me dat?

Hay, da dears iz movin wit dis cold weather. Let’s go huntin. I herd dat huge ole bore hog Ben scene round at Old Jebs pond. Luv tu git as slug inn dat beast.

Slug? We goin bouie knives an blowguns sun! We’ll go round back of Ole Man Kelsey’s pond an box him in. Better bring hounds- Blew an ole Red .

 

[Felonious Monk]

Yes and yes.

Good to hear.

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

I ain’t gunnin fer Boss Hog wit no dang blow gun. I have a gud trowin ax i culd use.

Jus cuz u flings it don’t make it no throwin ax.

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

Dem fellers who claim day saw da Boss say he got tusks size of an elefant.

U tawkin bout Cooter an Skeet? Dam sun Cooter stays drunk on dat blackberry shine an Skeet had a kwestionable incounter wit Granny Hawkins at my party. U caint trust them

 

[Felonious Monk]

U tawkin bout Cooter an Skeet? Dam sun Cooter stays drunk on dat blackberry shine an Skeet had a kwestionable incounter wit Granny Hawkins at my party. U caint trust them

Aren't Skeeter and Granny Hawkins related? What's the nature of this questionable encounter?

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

Naw, twert dem fools. It was tu of dem Darling clan bois.

Dem boys iz strait shooters, dey don’t say much but dey sho kin pick an sang.

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

Aren't Skeeter and Granny Hawkins related? What's the nature of this questionable encounter?

Yes tecknically dey are related but round here iffin it’s no closer then the second degree a consanguinity, u good. Come on!

 

[Okefenokee Cane]

Dang sun theez boys gone thank u stoopid. Consanguinity haz ta do wit how close u iz related ta sumbuddy. It kin awlso be a type a Italian wine drank.

 

[mr.h]

Becky Sue was on one side and Sherry Lynn was on the utter.

Christmas day- I’ll wake-up at the crack of Dawn.