MEGA Everything & Everybody Sucks Megathread for Miserable Mopes & Sorry Slurpers (aka The Basura Bin)

[Miami[]_[]Smoke]

What is it vs P5 opponents?

If you just look at fbs opponents, we’re down to 19.7 ppg

 

[GojiraCane]

Well, I suppose we could hire some 1930s retread after thawing him out of cryogenics. Have the players put the leather helmets back on, refuse to allow water at games and in practice (to toughen them up and improve culture)…and then have negative yards production per game.

 

[canefan96]

Can somebody call Josh Gattis’ mom and tell her to pick up her son?

 

[JennStrawley’sBabyDaddy]

This niqqa coached a offense to 8 first half yards, I'm over it

 

[DTP]

Here’s our offense against FBS programs:
Passing: 230.8 ypg
Rushing: 112.6 ypg
Total: 343.4 ypg
Scoring: 19.7 ppg

Against P5 only:
Passing: 215.6 ypg
Rushing: 99.1 ypg
Total: 327.1 ypg
Scoring: 17.0 ppg

If you take away the 500 yards passing TVD had against UNC it gets even uglier.

We’ve also turned the ball over 22 times so not only does the offense suck, it gives the ball to the opponents all the time too.

If you consider the production last year and the essentially unlimited budget Cristobal was given for assistants, the Josh Gattis hire is likely the worst hire of any coach in modern UM history. There’s been plenty of other bums but those guys were working for pennies because our athletic department didn’t want to spend anything so they got nothing in return. We broke the bank to go 5-6 this year.

 

[RVACane]

Y’all keep talking about flipping half the roster next year but who’s gonna coach them???? Mario not a Xs and Os guy and has only shown the ability to burn timeouts with a flamethrower

i need to change the thread title to what it’s about and then merge it into that mega thread

 

[Baba Yaga]

i need to change the thread title to what it’s about and then merge it into that mega thread

Bringing back THE Mega Thread is the only thing that can keep CiSpool from inducing its own Ragnarök.

 

[RVACane]

It’s baaaaaaaaaak

Merge!

 

[RVACane]

Bringing back THE Mega Thread is the only thing that can keep CiSpool from inducing its own Ragnarök.

 

[Baba Yaga]

View attachment 215822

I meant the Mega thread from about a year ago where we talked about wrestling, BBQ, booze and like 700 other random things for the better part of a month before Andrew shut it down.

But we can light a fire in this one too.

 

[Odysseus]

View attachment 215819

You were there, and wow that's the worst Stat line I ever seen us have what a joke

 

[Angry Ibis]

If Mario can only manage hiring his 3rd choice at OC last year - a year where he had all the momentum, I can only imagine what kind of OC hire fvck up he’ll manage after Gattis is gone. People think it can’t get any worse than Gattis? Mario says hold my beer.

3rd choice seems generous…

 

[Angry Ibis]

I meant the Mega thread from about a year ago where we talked about wrestling, BBQ, booze and like 700 other random things for the better part of a month before Andrew shut it down.

But we can light a fire in this one too.

That thread was fantastic…. Only a real ******* would kill that…and force us to talk football around here

 

[SinisterCane]

Doom and gloom has arrived

 

[Savage Cane]

I’m in favor of em

Firing Squad

or

Guillotine

( only real question as far as I’m concerned, but admittedly I’m from another planet apparently )

Just imagine Sebastian tAking the pipe out of his beak, doning the executioners hood while Gatis squirms in the stockade at midfield.

Ol’ mild Steele looking on nervously.

Mario stares blankly mumbling we gotta get back to work, work, gotta work this into reality, work, firing off texts to recruits of the fans in a frenzy as they call for blood. Work

 

[RVACane]

That thread was fantastic…. Only a real ******* would kill that…and force us to talk football around here

I’ll give you a hint as to who killed it.

 

[Mr. Dynasty1]

Mario is not savage enough to do that “in-season” . It’s completely justified but “it looks bad”

 

[RVACane]

Doom and gloom has arrived

 

[ben]

Firing Squad

or

Guillotine

( only real question as far as I’m concerned, but admittedly I’m from another planet apparently )

Just imagine Sebastian tAking the pipe out of his beak, doning the executioners hood while Gatis squirms in the stockade at midfield.

View attachment 215826View attachment 215828Ol’ mild Steele looking on nervously.

Mario stares blankly mumbling we gotta get back to work, work, gotta work this into reality, work, firing off texts to recruits of the fans in a frenzy as they call for blood. Work

View attachment 215827

Brian Kelly would select hidden option C: falling from an aerial lift in dangerous winds

 

[JennStrawley’sBabyDaddy]

You were there, and wow that's the worst Stat line I ever seen us have what a joke

Yeah man, brutal. It was my 1st game this season and that’s the worst offense I’ve ever seen live. Abysmal play calling. I never thought I’d miss Dan Enos…