Empirical Cane
We are what we repeatedly do.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2018
- Messages
- 33,188
As we all wait to watch a press conference that introduces the new Head Coach of our Miami Hurricanes, I wanted to get ahead on something vitally important to CIS-dom: our long standing tradition of naming conventions.
We are going to have some sense of hope as the new personality begins his opening statements. Someone will post a meme/gif extolling the savage saviour of Miami football.
Let's face it however, if this new personaility does not hoist a perfect record and national championship trophy by the end of his introductory press conference, we will quickly re-trench into our mopes v. slurpers encampments and once again lock ourselves into porst after porst salvos. Die! Die! Die! will flow freely and with reckless abandon.
Now, this list is a start and by no means the definitive tome of OFFICIAL: Coach/HC/Corch Names, but I offer it humbly as the beginning of what inevitably will be a journey we take together for the next 3-5 years until the new coach is also then let go, and like a dysfunctional phoenix, Miami hopes to rise anew from the fire and ashes in 2026... and then 2030...and then 2034.
Coach Mario Cristobal
HC Super Mario
Corch Maria Cristobal-less
Coach Luke Fickell
HC Da Real Uncle Luke
Corch Fluke ****ell
Coach Urban Meyer
HC Pope Urban
Corch Oscar Meyer
Coach The Pirate
HC Cap'n Morgan
Corch The Leach
Lane Kiffin
Lane Killin
Lane *****en
Please add/subtract to your heart's content.
We are going to have some sense of hope as the new personality begins his opening statements. Someone will post a meme/gif extolling the savage saviour of Miami football.
Let's face it however, if this new personaility does not hoist a perfect record and national championship trophy by the end of his introductory press conference, we will quickly re-trench into our mopes v. slurpers encampments and once again lock ourselves into porst after porst salvos. Die! Die! Die! will flow freely and with reckless abandon.
Now, this list is a start and by no means the definitive tome of OFFICIAL: Coach/HC/Corch Names, but I offer it humbly as the beginning of what inevitably will be a journey we take together for the next 3-5 years until the new coach is also then let go, and like a dysfunctional phoenix, Miami hopes to rise anew from the fire and ashes in 2026... and then 2030...and then 2034.
Coach Mario Cristobal
HC Super Mario
Corch Maria Cristobal-less
Coach Luke Fickell
HC Da Real Uncle Luke
Corch Fluke ****ell
Coach Urban Meyer
HC Pope Urban
Corch Oscar Meyer
Coach The Pirate
HC Cap'n Morgan
Corch The Leach
Lane Kiffin
Lane Killin
Lane *****en
Please add/subtract to your heart's content.
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