Coaching Coach vs HC vs Corch Names

Empirical Cane

We are what we repeatedly do.
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As we all wait to watch a press conference that introduces the new Head Coach of our Miami Hurricanes, I wanted to get ahead on something vitally important to CIS-dom: our long standing tradition of naming conventions.

We are going to have some sense of hope as the new personality begins his opening statements. Someone will post a meme/gif extolling the savage saviour of Miami football.

Let's face it however, if this new personaility does not hoist a perfect record and national championship trophy by the end of his introductory press conference, we will quickly re-trench into our mopes v. slurpers encampments and once again lock ourselves into porst after porst salvos. Die! Die! Die! will flow freely and with reckless abandon.

Now, this list is a start and by no means the definitive tome of OFFICIAL: Coach/HC/Corch Names, but I offer it humbly as the beginning of what inevitably will be a journey we take together for the next 3-5 years until the new coach is also then let go, and like a dysfunctional phoenix, Miami hopes to rise anew from the fire and ashes in 2026... and then 2030...and then 2034.


Coach Mario Cristobal
HC Super Mario
Corch Maria Cristobal-less

Coach Luke Fickell
HC Da Real Uncle Luke
Corch Fluke ****ell

Coach Urban Meyer
HC Pope Urban
Corch Oscar Meyer

Coach The Pirate
HC Cap'n Morgan
Corch The Leach

Lane Kiffin
Lane Killin
Lane *****en


Please add/subtract to your heart's content.
 
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I’ll go for the Pirate with a killer at DC. I think Leach is successful here with TVD and Garcia.
 
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I'm taking requests for memes/gifs. Don't foresee myself posting booty gifs until Manny gets fired so I'll have time on my hands.
 
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As we all wait to watch a press conference that introduces the new Head Coach of our Miami Hurricanes, I wanted to get ahead on something vitally important to CIS-dom: our long standing tradition of naming conventions.

We are going to have some sense of hope as the new personality begins his opening statements. Someone will post a meme/gif extolling the savage saviour of Miami football.

Let's face it however, if this new personaility does not hoist a perfect record and national championship trophy by the end of his introductory press conference, we will quickly re-trench into our mopes v. slurpers encampments and once again lock ourselves into porst after porst salvos. Die! Die! Die! will flow freely and with reckless abandon.

Now, this list is a start and by no means the definitive tome of OFFICIAL: Coach/HC/Corch Names, but I offer it humbly as the beginning of what inevitably will be a journey we take together for the next 3-5 years until the new coach is also then let go, and like a dysfunctional phoenix, Miami hopes to rise anew from the fire and ashes in 2026... and then 2030...and then 2034.


Coach Mario Cristobal
HC Super Mario
Corch Maria Cristobal-less

Coach Luke Fickell
HC Da Real Uncle Luke
Corch Fluke ****ell

Coach Urban Meyer
HC Pope Urban
Corch Oscar Meyer

Coach The Pirate
HC Cap'n Morgan
Corch The Leach

Lane Kiffin
Lane Killin
Lane *****en


Please add/subtract to your heart's content.
Lame Kitten is his CoRch name
 
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We should actually list coaches that Miami has a history of hiring. Like:

Randy Edsall is Randy Edstall or Randy EdShannon
Rod Carey=Rod Crappy or Rod Clappy
 
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