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1st Degree Murder Charged

Klamalama

Klamalama

Board Ban Under CIS Martial Law Until 11/5/20
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Jan 19, 2012
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Within the next few days, the District Attorney is set to announce a 1[SUP]st[/SUP] degree murder indictment against Al Golden, for the premeditated killing of Miami football.

Principal witness for the prosecution is reported to be The Troll, herself. Her testimony is part of a plea bargain allowing for her dignified “retirement”. She has admitted that the whole scheme came to her in a flash, when Nevin Shapiro handed her that check in the bowling alley. She claimed to have cooked the entire scheme, with Shapiro’s help. Ironically, Nevin Shapiro is now rumored to be Al Golden’s attorney, due to his vast experience as a jail-house lawyer. Nevin is to claim that Golden’s repetitive failures, without modifications, are proof of insanity. Shapiro will be asking for anonymous eyewitnesses (in any) to offer their observations of Golden’s 4-year “insanity”.

Randy Shannon was once considered a candidate for the murder role, but was judged as too loyal to The U, to execute the plan.

Shapiro advised that Golden plead guilty by reason of insanity. He was to be committed to a Cuban gulag for the criminally insane, in exchange for his guilty plea. Negotiations broke down due to a disagreement on Dorito’s visitation rights. Subsequently, Dorito is to be charged as an accessory. Dorito, upon hearing the news, insisted that he be handcuffed with his BFF.
 
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Murder? Nahhhh.

In my eyes the UM football program is in a severe coma, and we're only gonna find out what's gonna happen once Shalala steps down.
We get a president who gives a ****: We wake up and slowly but surely will get back to excellence
We get a Shalala clone who doesn't care?: we're officially dead, and there's no way back.
 
The slow death of the program started long before Al Golden and Randy Shannon.

The death blow was Butch Davis bailing on the program in the eleventh hour in 2001. That started a chain of events that sent the program into an unrecoverable spiral. Handing the keys to Coker instead of Barry Alvarez was probably the second biggest mistake.

Things that killed the program rankings

1. Butch Davis bailing on the program in the eleventh hour
2. Hiring to Larry Coker instead of Barry Alvarez
3. Hiring Randy Shannon instead of Greg Schiano
4. Hiring Al Golden

Golden just picked up where Shannon left off. We've been treading the waters of mediocrity long before Golden came around.
 
Last edited:
Klamalama said:
Within the next few days, the District Attorney is set to announce a 1[SUP]st[/SUP] degree murder indictment against Al Golden, for the premeditated killing of Miami football.

Principal witness for the prosecution is reported to be The Troll, herself. Her testimony is part of a plea bargain allowing for her dignified “retirement”. She has admitted that the whole scheme came to her in a flash, when Nevin Shapiro handed her that check in the bowling alley. She claimed to have cooked the entire scheme, with Shapiro’s help. Ironically, Nevin Shapiro is now rumored to be Al Golden’s attorney, due to his vast experience as a jail-house lawyer. Nevin is to claim that Golden’s repetitive failures, without modifications, are proof of insanity. Shapiro will be asking for anonymous eyewitnesses (in any) to offer their observations of Golden’s 4-year “insanity”.

Randy Shannon was once considered a candidate for the murder role, but was judged as too loyal to The U, to execute the plan.

Shapiro advised that Golden plead guilty by reason of insanity. He was to be committed to a Cuban gulag for the criminally insane, in exchange for his guilty plea. Negotiations broke down due to a disagreement on Dorito’s visitation rights. Subsequently, Dorito is to be charged as an accessory. Dorito, upon hearing the news, insisted that he be handcuffed with his BFF.
Click to expand...

lmao
 
lol...murder was the case.

Be careful, the Al Golden Crew AKA the moderators, may interpret this as deception, or some other infraction worthy post
 
dfreshhookup said:
The slow death of the program started long before Al Golden and Randy Shannon.

The death blow was Butch Davis bailing on the program in the eleventh hour in 2001. That started a chain of events that sent the program into an unrecoverable spiral. Handing the keys to Coker instead of Barry Alvarez was probably the second biggest mistake.

Things that killed the program rankings

1. Butch Davis bailing on the program in the eleventh hour
2. Hiring to Larry Coker instead of Barry Alvarez
3. Hiring Randy Shannon instead of Greg Schiano
4. Hiring Al Golden

Golden just picked up where Shannon left off. We've been treading the waters of mediocrity long before Golden came around.
Click to expand...

This can be remedied. Bring Butch back and let him finish what he started.
 
Canesfan1899 said:
dfreshhookup said:
The slow death of the program started long before Al Golden and Randy Shannon.

The death blow was Butch Davis bailing on the program in the eleventh hour in 2001. That started a chain of events that sent the program into an unrecoverable spiral. Handing the keys to Coker instead of Barry Alvarez was probably the second biggest mistake.

Things that killed the program rankings

1. Butch Davis bailing on the program in the eleventh hour
2. Hiring to Larry Coker instead of Barry Alvarez
3. Hiring Randy Shannon instead of Greg Schiano
4. Hiring Al Golden

Golden just picked up where Shannon left off. We've been treading the waters of mediocrity long before Golden came around.
Click to expand...

This can be remedied. Bring Butch back and let him finish what he started.
Click to expand...

Butch better be bringing some earth shattering assistants with him because lord knows he's a god awful gameday coach. His 2000 staff had 3 future NFL head coaches on it, 3 future NCAA coaches and a grad assistant who is currently in his 12th year as an NFL position coach and he still couldn't bring home a Natty.
 
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WTF is wrong with ya'll. We aint dead. Nobody can kill us CANES. I amazed you even give him that much power. Decimated Yup. Dead....GTFOH! We will be back with or without this coaching staff. Ya'll kill me sometimes.
 
dfreshhookup said:
The slow death of the program started long before Al Golden and Randy Shannon.

The death blow was Butch Davis bailing on the program in the eleventh hour in 2001. That started a chain of events that sent the program into an unrecoverable spiral. Handing the keys to Coker instead of Barry Alvarez was probably the second biggest mistake.

Things that killed the program rankings

1. Butch Davis bailing on the program in the eleventh hour
2. Hiring to Larry Coker instead of Barry Alvarez
3. Hiring Randy Shannon instead of Greg Schiano
4. Hiring Al Golden

Golden just picked up where Shannon left off. We've been treading the waters of mediocrity long before Golden came around.
Click to expand...

Wasn't it Shalala who wanted to replace Butch with Barry Alvarez? Do you think we still would have won in 2001 with him instead of Coker? Conversely, do you think we'd be in the ****heap like we are now if we went with Alvarez instead? Not trolling, slurping, or whatever--genuinely curious if you guys think Shalala could have made a better choice back in '01 that would have nullified all her later neglect for the program.
 
carolinacane said:
Do you think we still would have won in 2001 with him instead of Coker? Conversely, do you think we'd be in the ****heap like we are now if we went with Alvarez instead?
Click to expand...

Yes, we would have won the 2001 Natty with Alvarez.

No, we'd be in much better shape because Alvarez would have been an easy choice for AD after Paul Dee.

Program would be leaps and bounds in better shape if we went Alvarez instead of Coker.
 
stat1124 said:
WTF is wrong with ya'll. We aint dead. Nobody can kill us CANES. I amazed you even give him that much power. Decimated Yup. Dead....GTFOH! We will be back with or without this coaching staff. Ya'll kill me sometimes.
Click to expand...

In Red...NEVER EVER EVER gonna happen
In Blue...Yes
 
I heard first hand from a very good source that Fat Al will plead guilty...sentence will be reduced to impersonation a division 1 head coach.
 
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