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Do what Bud Foster (a man named after two beers) does and it'll all make sense. Have a bottle of Old Crow for breakfast and then rinse your mouth out with Rumple Minze instead of brushing your teeth.

I'm glad the OP was smart enough to include the mandatory genuflection to Bud Foster as I'm sure some would've immediately rushed to make that point. As he correctly concludes, I don't care what a magician that old highly functioning drunk is OR that it's probably going to be a night game in...