Some Old-Fashioned Comedy: Who's at DE?

[Kirijax]

Canes Fan: I can’t wait for the new season to start! Can you tell me about the players on this year’s team?
D’Onofrio: Sure thing! But strange as it may seem, they give football players nowadays very peculiar names.
Canes Fan: Funny Names?
D’Onofrio: Nicknames. Pet names. Now, on the Miami team we have Who's at DE, What's at DT, I Don't Know is at Linebacker--
Canes Fan: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the Miami team.
D’Onofrio: I'm telling you. Who's at DE, What's at DT, I Don't Know is at LB--
Canes Fan: You know the fellows' names?
D’Onofrio: Yes.
Canes Fan: Well, then who's playing DE?
D’Onofrio: Yes.
Canes Fan: I mean the fellow's name at DE.
D’Onofrio: Who.
Canes Fan: The fellow playin' DE.
D’Onofrio: Who.
Canes Fan: The guy at DE.
D’Onofrio: Who is at DE.
Canes Fan: Well, what are you askin' me for?
D’Onofrio: I'm not asking you--I'm telling you. Who is a DE.
Canes Fan: I'm asking you--who's at DE?
D’Onofrio: That's the man's name.
Canes Fan: That's who's name?
D’Onofrio: Yes.
Canes Fan: When you suspend the DE every month, who gets the suspension?
D’Onofrio: Every day of it. And why not, the man's deserved it.
Canes Fan: Who has?
D’Onofrio: Yes.
Canes Fan: So who gets it?
D’Onofrio: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his high school comes down and complains about it.
Canes Fan: Who's high school coach?
D’Onofrio: Yes. But after all, the man deserved it.
Canes Fan: Who does?
D’Onofrio: Absolutely.
Canes Fan: Well, all I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name at DE?
D’Onofrio: Oh, no, no. What is at DT.
Canes Fan: I'm not asking you who's at DT.
D’Onofrio: Who's at DE!
Canes Fan: Miami has a good backfield?
D’Onofrio: Oh, absolutely.
Canes Fan: The cornerback's name?
D’Onofrio: Why.
Canes Fan: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask.
D’Onofrio: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.
Canes Fan: Then tell me who's playing cornerback?
D’Onofrio: Who's playing DE.
Canes Fan: Stay out of the defensive line! The cornerback's name?
D’Onofrio: Why.
Canes Fan: Because.
D’Onofrio: Oh, he's a saftey.
Canes Fan: Wait a minute. You got a quarterback on this team?
Coley: Wouldn't this be a fine team without a quarterback?
Canes Fan: Tell me the quarterback's name.
Coley: Tomorrow.
Canes Fan: Now, when the opponent has the ball--me being a good player--I want to stop the run, so I cause a fumble and who picks up the ball?
D’Onofrio: Now, that's the first thing you've said right.
Canes Fan: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
D’Onofrio: Don't get excited. Take it easy.
Canes Fan: I knock the ball out of the quarterback’s hands and cause a fumble, whoever it is jumps on the ball. Who jumps on the ball and tosses it to what. What tosses it to I don't know. I don't know throws it back to Who--touchdown.
D’Onofrio: Yeah, it could be.
Canes Fan: On the next defensive play the opponent’s quarterback steps back and it's a long ball right into the hands of who .
D’Onofrio: Because.
Canes Fan: Why? I don't know. And I don't care.
D’Onofrio: What was that?
Canes Fan: I said, I DON'T CARE!
Abbott: Oh, that's our head coach!

This old Abott and Costello skit came into mind today thinking about the coaching staff. Revised it. Just having some fun.

 

[Rellyrell]

huh?????????

 

[Kirijax]

Just fooling around. Don't think too hard about it.

 

[Rellyrell]

Just fooling around. Don't think too hard about it.

this is why we need a new coach!! lol.

 

[WestGaCane]

i always wanted to try and memories that skit. Never put any effort into it, but in the back of my mind i wanted to learn it.

 

[Rellyrell]

OP....my bad....I didn't really read the skit. I get it, my fault brother. Good stuff.

 

[Kirijax]

OP....my bad....I didn't really read the skit. I get it, my fault brother. Good stuff.

lol I did all that just so I could add the last line.

 

[Kirijax]

i always wanted to try and memories that skit. Never put any effort into it, but in the back of my mind i wanted to learn it.

I translated it into Japanese once and did it with another guy at work. The Japanese were rofl.

 

[Rellyrell]

OP....my bad....I didn't really read the skit. I get it, my fault brother. Good stuff.

lol I did all that just so I could add the last line.

LOL...good stuff man. really good stuff!

 

[Kirijax]

Maybe D'Onofrio and Canes fan should be switched. lol