Most of our coaches dont even have wikipedia pages
I'm tempted to make one for each of them.
Ephraim Banda is a bartender whose current occupation is friend of Manny Diaz, president of the Robert Knowles fan club, and missing on recruiting targets at the University of Miami.
Blake Baker is group of 5 position coach who once worked with Manny Diaz. Diaz hired him to help improve ACC offenses, as defensive coordinator at the University of Miami.
Jonathan Patke is a friend of Manny Diaz, who is currently the worst special teams coach in the p5. He got his coaching start at the University of The Incarnate Word, which surprisingly is NOT a fake online university. While at Incarnate Word, he met bartender, current Manny Diaz friend and Robert Knowles fan club president, Ephraim Banda.
Mike Rumph is former CB and 1st round pick out of the University of Miami. After his playing career, he went into coaching at the high school level. He is currently wondering "why the **** I left American Heritage for this ****."
Todd Stroud is an Akron defensive line coach, who came to Miami after Jess Simpson saw the writing on the wall. When Stroud is not reminiscing about his playing days at FLORIDA STATE, he's praising Gregory Rousseau so he can later surprise you by playing Scott Patchan instead.