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Yep. How many head-to-head recruiting battles does Mario need to win over Gaypier and/or Prison Mike before the Gaytor fans and SemenHole fans bend the knee? Instead, these mo-fos are out there acting like they expect their coaches to go .500 or better against Mario out on the recruiting trail.

That's only because you took on East Germany. California would be bigger if you merged them with Arkansas, though...

Sure, but I don't think every single player who enters the Portal is trying to find "the shortest distance that Mom has to drive" as the primary determining factor. Amarius Mims? Yeah, maybe. EVERY Portal kid? No. A lot of them will be making business decisions, not "can mom drive over to...

And craps on Arizona State while arguing in favor of a kid who has 5 career plays in 4 years at Alabama...