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"I'm a freshman at a small Northeastern college. l never thought those letters were true, until a few days ago...l had an experience that changed my mind. l just had to share it with you. l had resigned myself to another night of reading your magazine...when there was a knock on my dorm room...

Phillip Michael Thomas is just four nominations (and wins) away from finally getting his precious EGOT.

Sorry, but that was even worse than an Empirical Cane story.