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Great news! I didn’t get the shiny new DC that I wanted but the other good news, like this, is keeping me engaged.

Bro, quit acting like that **** that won’t flush down the toilet. I give you permission to just let this go and be happy.

“SHUTTING IT DOWN” The three sweetest words in recruiting

Leonard Taylor’s magical staff restores the virginity of wayward hoes.

When you shave the head of the kid from The Omen, you see a naturally occurring birthmark with the numbers 666. If you do the same to Leonard Taylor, you see a 305 birthmark.

Upvoted for appropriate and impeccable use of lugubrious.

What a gentleman! I like how he folds the toilet paper into a perfect triangle after taking a dump and adds that strip of paper to the toilet that says “sanitized for your protection“